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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #31  
Old 01-25-2007, 05:18 PM
wildrose wildrose is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by workingthruit
Nice generalization.

But wrong.

I do ALL those things - AND work full-time.
Most of the working moms I know do too ... we don't have cleaning ladies, or nannies, or "let daycares raise our kids" - we are responsible, CONTRIBUTING members of society.
I drop my kids off at school in the morning, pick them up less than 2 hours after school gets out each day - take them to their extra-curricular activities, doctor appts, dentist appts, and NEVER feed them fast food during the week.

I am glad that you have the flexibility in your job to be able to drop your kids off at school and spend so much time with them. Any jobs that I have applied for require me to be at work for 8am which means leaving the house at 7:15am or earlier. That would mean if I had children to drop off at school, I would be dropping them off more than an hour before school started. Most jobs require that you work until 5pm. This would mean not getting home until 5:45pm or later. I am very glad for you that your situation works. Not all of them do.

According to you, those 2 hours a day - or 10 hours a week that don't I spend with my kids are worth $2000 a month to you.
Interesting, I should see if I can find anyone OTHER than our perverse family law system that agrees with that theory.

Better question is this - you say your kids are grown now, and you don't even see them ... how do you possibly justitfy not working now? I read your feeble excuses above about the past, but am more curious about your current situaton.

You are curious about my current situation, let me fill you in. I have 24 hours in my day. I spend 5 or more hours per day with my studies which I am carrying a 95% average in right now. I spend 2 hours per day helping my father with his dialysis and making sure his needs are met. I spend 2 hours per day in a long term care facility spending time with my mother who suffered a massive stroke six years ago. I spend two to three hours per day cooking, cleaning, paying bills, grocery shopping and whatever else needs to be done. Soooo, let me see........that is 12 hours of my accounted for. I spend 8 hours per night sleeping and that leaves 4 hours of my day unaccounted for. I guess I could probably go pump gas in those extra 4 hours because at this point that is all that is available for work in the town I live in. I do not have siblings and therefore I have responsibilities to my parents that most others don't.

It has also not gone unnoticed by me that you refuse to even acknowledge any comments that you can't try to talk your way out of ... such as your exes current wife supporting her own children, or why you can't work part time at the very least, and start actually becoming self-sufficient instead of just talking about it.

How do I know she isn't supporting her children???? My ex bought them both a car when they moved in with him and yes, he paid for those cars. My ex has stated in his affadavit that he has taken on full responsibility for his new wife's children and that included financial responsibility. So either he's blowing smoke or he has lied on his affadivit in court. You choose, he lies about everything else anyway. As far as becoming self sufficient......if you had read my posts you would know that I am working towards becoming self sufficient and upgrading my education so as to have enough earning potential to pay my bills!!!!!! What part of that don't you understand?????????

My personal experience tells me that supporting yourself, and being independent has many more rewards than living off of someone else's hard work ... give it a try, it might not be as bad as you imagine!
I would love nothing better than to tell my ex to go to hell and take his money and shove it where the sun doesn't shine but unfortunately the people that send me bills in the mail every month don't have that kind of time to wait.

I don't know what your problem is but it sounds to me like you are bitter and you are looking for others to take out your frustrations.
  #32  
Old 01-25-2007, 05:21 PM
Decent Dad Decent Dad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by independentgal
I find this board fantastic for legal advice, but as for divorce support, I think other sites may be better suited to the details. If you find one, I would love to know about it!
As I stated:

- there is a support forum on this site
- there are introduction forums on this site
- try alt.support.divorce (use google... select groups... type in alt.support.divorce in exlpore)
- try yahoo groups

Otherwise, most people tend to ignore the "situational stuff" when dealing with finances and legal matters. It is just smoke and mirrors. But, and this a big BUT; if you continue to slander your ex, people begin to question your motive.
  #33  
Old 01-25-2007, 05:26 PM
wildrose wildrose is offline
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I came here to ask a question.....I have seen about all I need to see. I don't need to come here to get the kind of crap I have seen. I will continue to do what I need to do and I wish all of you luck in whatever it may be you are doing.
  #34  
Old 01-25-2007, 07:30 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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wow,

Spousal support is a sensitive subject. Means and needs is generally the criteria to be entitled to same. Other facts such as length of marriage and duties performed during such are significant. Often one spouse will sacrifice their career potential to raise the parties children.

However, spousal support is to come from "income" not "capital." This is why "division of net equalization" exists. The capital has already been divided.

I would attempt to get disclosure of why the individual left employment. If it was voluntarily then yes the individual should be bound to the agreement. If they were laid off or the employer closed down, then this suggests it wasn't by choice. This to me would construe to be a material change of circumstance. However, ultimately the reason why they left employment will make all the difference in the world. I believe you require disclosure such as:
  • Are they receiving EI? If yes, this suggests they were laid off. If they aren't receiving EI, this suggests they voluntarily left or were terminated.
  • What steps have they taken to secure employment - Attending interviews, sending out resumes etc.
  • Are they healthy?

The onus is on the other party to vary the agreement and prove the material change. Until this occurs, the agreed monthly amount is still owing.

lv
  #35  
Old 01-25-2007, 11:59 PM
Grace Grace is offline
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Hey All, for those who remember me, I miss you guys. I had at one time the honour of being a moderator on this site until this subject reared its ugly head, I am sorry I let you down. No doubt LV, spousal support is a hot topic. Although I worked throughout my marriage and was not entitled to support, I do support the women such as Wildrose in long term marriages whom the laws are in place for. I do not think of her as a women who sat on the couch eating bon bons all day, but as a dedicated stay at home mom. She should be honoured in her role. And yes, she or one of her sisterhood, has tremendously contributed greatly to my children. She represents the volunteer Mom at my kids school. And I do appreciate women like her shuffling my kids around for me when my working schedule did not permit it.

If any of the original members still "lurk" please say hi. In the meanwhile good luck to the rest of you. Litigation is not for the weak kneed.

Best to all,
Grace
  #36  
Old 01-26-2007, 12:23 AM
mominont mominont is offline
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Well as a single working mom who has her daughter 100% of the time, my ex has supervised access roughly 6hrs a week. Chances are I will be the "spouse" paying spousal support while recieving NO child support. I can honestly tell you that I am raising my daughter not the daycare. I make sure I'm home by 5 to take my daughter to activities. We certainly don't eat that much fast food, I use the crockpot!

I can't understand how it costs you 2000 dollars a month to live, yet your live in boyfriend is sharing in the costs.

Quite frankly I don't think you deserve spousal support any longer, at the equilization payment I think you recieved compensation for the stay at home years!

However once back in court you'll probably still get some form of spousal support and about your ex husbands new wife, don't worry about your hubby supporting her kids, his new wife is doing that herself!!

mominont
  #37  
Old 01-26-2007, 02:25 AM
sandu sandu is offline
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Default Thank you Yoyo

I really like your post for OBI.A lady is in trouble and he is trying to take out his frustration on her.I am glad his wife left her.Nobody wants to be with such Ba....d.Sorry for name calling but he was very mean to wildrose.
  #38  
Old 01-26-2007, 10:36 AM
wildrose wildrose is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by logicalvelocity
wow,

Spousal support is a sensitive subject. Means and needs is generally the criteria to be entitled to same. Other facts such as length of marriage and duties performed during such are significant. Often one spouse will sacrifice their career potential to raise the parties children.

However, spousal support is to come from "income" not "capital." This is why "division of net equalization" exists. The capital has already been divided.

I would attempt to get disclosure of why the individual left employment. If it was voluntarily then yes the individual should be bound to the agreement. If they were laid off or the employer closed down, then this suggests it wasn't by choice. This to me would construe to be a material change of circumstance. However, ultimately the reason why they left employment will make all the difference in the world. I believe you require disclosure such as:
  • Are they receiving EI? If yes, this suggests they were laid off. If they aren't receiving EI, this suggests they voluntarily left or were terminated.
  • What steps have they taken to secure employment - Attending interviews, sending out resumes etc.
  • Are they healthy?

The onus is on the other party to vary the agreement and prove the material change. Until this occurs, the agreed monthly amount is still owing.

lv
I would like to thank you for your response and it is nice to see someone asking constructive questions. My ex has applied for EI benefits but as of today's date he states that no decision by EI has been made as to whether he will receive benefits or not. The reason for his termination states "reorganization of department". He was upper level management and has stated he did not like the new head of his dept and they had a disagreement. This was stated in his affadavit of Nov. 06. He has been unemployed since Sept 06 and as of today's date has sent out 7 random resumes to companies that are not in his field of expertise. That is all he has done as far as job hunting. He has also incurred $35,000 in debt since Sept 06 to purchase a coffee vending business which he stated in an earlier affadavit was a part time venture to supplement his income. He is healthy. He goes to the gym four to five times a week and is very physically fit.

Before everyone jumps on the bandwagon again, please read the above as I am just answering the questions asked. I am not stating an opinion as to whether it is right or wrong.
  #39  
Old 01-26-2007, 10:44 AM
wildrose wildrose is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mominont
Well as a single working mom who has her daughter 100% of the time, my ex has supervised access roughly 6hrs a week. Chances are I will be the "spouse" paying spousal support while recieving NO child support. I can honestly tell you that I am raising my daughter not the daycare. I make sure I'm home by 5 to take my daughter to activities. We certainly don't eat that much fast food, I use the crockpot!

I can't understand how it costs you 2000 dollars a month to live, yet your live in boyfriend is sharing in the costs.

Quite frankly I don't think you deserve spousal support any longer, at the equilization payment I think you recieved compensation for the stay at home years!

However once back in court you'll probably still get some form of spousal support and about your ex husbands new wife, don't worry about your hubby supporting her kids, his new wife is doing that herself!!

mominont
I commend you in raising your daughter on your own and I guess I would have to ask why you are not receiving child support? I am also glad to hear that wherever you live is reasonably unexpensive. We do not live extravagantly by any means and yes, my expenses are $2000.00 per month. I don't know what your budget is but when we add up mortgage, utilities, vehicles and insurance, property taxes, house insurance, groceries, etc etc etc. the bills are very high. We do nothing on credit and we pay our credit cards monthly so as not to have the expense of paying high interest. So we are debt free other than our mortgage payment each month.

As for my ex's new wife and her children. If you had read my previous posts carefully, it was stated in an affadavit in court by my ex that he had taken on all expenses for his new wife's children. He stated this in court, under oath. It is not some fairy tale or based on gossip. It is fact, not fiction. Obviously he was trying to raise his monthly budget in hopes a judge would see things in his favor. You want to question my monthly expenses???? Let's take a look at his financial statement that he submitted as evidence in court that states his montly expenses are $9000.00 per month so that he is able to make mortgage and tax payments on three houses which he receives income from two of the three houses.

Don't judge until you know all the facts!!!!!
  #40  
Old 01-26-2007, 10:47 AM
wildrose wildrose is offline
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I would like to thank those of you that have responded with constructive questions and support. I didn't come to this board to hear the name calling and judgemental responses. I came here to ask a question. We all have our own situations and our own details. As I have told my children for many years, do not judge anyone until you know the full honest details and have walked in their shoes.
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