Good morning,
I am presently moving to have my divorce order updated as it has no reference to right of first refusal as it comes to the care of my two beautiful girls (D8 and D11). We have a mediated agreement which pretty much fell way to the side as soon as it was signed because it had three paragraphs dealing with third party care, so I am looking to have something succinct put into our order.
At present, the 3rd paragraph related to third party care states, that "it is understood by both parents that, when either is not able to care for the children during his or her parenting time, that he or she provide the other parent with the first opportunity to do so. The only exception to this being where the parent provides at least a weeks notice that a third party will be caring for the children. That third party is ought to be a family member, close family friend or otherwise know to the children etc etc etc"
I do not see this as being unreasonable when it comes to someone outside of the home, but I am uncomfortable with the fact that it pretty much lumps in my new partner with that group of "third-party". While she is not our daughters parent, we have been together for six years and we have lived together in the same home with my daughters for two and a half years. It seems unreasonable to me that if I were to have the opportunity to do something that pulls me away for an evening on relatively short notice, that we would have to disrupt our home life/atmosphere, because I wouldn't have been able to let my ex know a week prior that our daughters would be staying home with my new partner. Now these events are few (only one occasion that I can think of as I tend not to make any plans during my parenting time).
But surely it isn't unreasonable to ask that there be some autonomy within the new family environment for one or two nights? If the girls want to go to their mom's on one of those rare occasions, ok, but that it be required seems odd, especially when they actively talk about having the opportunity to do things on their own my partner.
Does anyone have a clause in their agreement that acknowledges/balances the autonomy of the new family environment with right of first refusal for the other parent?
Many thanks,
I am presently moving to have my divorce order updated as it has no reference to right of first refusal as it comes to the care of my two beautiful girls (D8 and D11). We have a mediated agreement which pretty much fell way to the side as soon as it was signed because it had three paragraphs dealing with third party care, so I am looking to have something succinct put into our order.
At present, the 3rd paragraph related to third party care states, that "it is understood by both parents that, when either is not able to care for the children during his or her parenting time, that he or she provide the other parent with the first opportunity to do so. The only exception to this being where the parent provides at least a weeks notice that a third party will be caring for the children. That third party is ought to be a family member, close family friend or otherwise know to the children etc etc etc"
I do not see this as being unreasonable when it comes to someone outside of the home, but I am uncomfortable with the fact that it pretty much lumps in my new partner with that group of "third-party". While she is not our daughters parent, we have been together for six years and we have lived together in the same home with my daughters for two and a half years. It seems unreasonable to me that if I were to have the opportunity to do something that pulls me away for an evening on relatively short notice, that we would have to disrupt our home life/atmosphere, because I wouldn't have been able to let my ex know a week prior that our daughters would be staying home with my new partner. Now these events are few (only one occasion that I can think of as I tend not to make any plans during my parenting time).
But surely it isn't unreasonable to ask that there be some autonomy within the new family environment for one or two nights? If the girls want to go to their mom's on one of those rare occasions, ok, but that it be required seems odd, especially when they actively talk about having the opportunity to do things on their own my partner.
Does anyone have a clause in their agreement that acknowledges/balances the autonomy of the new family environment with right of first refusal for the other parent?
Many thanks,
Comment