LF32 "need to see daughter" pt.2

[LovingFather32]

Regarding texting/facebook.....ive always wondered how this evidence has held so much weight in the canlii cases I read.
Same with walking around with a recorder. Do something very nasty/negative to elicit a negative reaction then press record in pocket. All of a sudden the "recorder" is angelic?


Mr. T. When do you predict a good time for a short motion would be?

[Headwaters1]

I will always make every second of access count. My whole 1 hour/week.

My priority will never be "winning". I don't like that terminology. My priority is and always will be creating avenues which facilitate the best interests of our daughter. And I believe she should have the ability to have both loving parents in her life equally. Not 60 minutes/week. The other party is interested in high conflict situations. I'm interested in the best interests and "well - being" of our daughter.

Wow Tayken really has a problem with you LF32.

Even spouses that have been physically violent encounters get their supervised visits expanded as they go well and certainly after drug tests emerge showing no abuse.

I think Tayken is letting her emotions get the best of her. Seems strange.

Apparently you should just give up seeing your daughter if you know whats best for her. i guess we should all just fold our cards and go home.

[standing on the sidelines]

Wow Tayken really has a problem with you LF32.

Even spouses that have been physically violent encounters get their supervised visits expanded as they go well and certainly after drug tests emerge showing no abuse.

I think Tayken is letting her emotions get the best of her. Seems strange.

Apparently you should just give up seeing your daughter if you know whats best for her. i guess we should all just fold our cards and go home.

Where is Tayken letting emotions get in the way? I find that Taykens posts have been well thought out with factual proof to back it up.

In court when there are kids involved it shouldn't be about beating the other parent, winning isn't the most important thing. The most important thing is to have both parents in the life of the child and the child has the benefit of support to help deal with the changes.

I just hope the LF32 remembers that the if someone didn't have the result they wanted with their court case that maybe they are not a good source of help?

He seems to be leaning too heavily on what Mr. T says instead of thinking things out himself. I think Working Dad would be a better mentor in this situation. He was in the same boat but was so child focused that he had a good result with his battle despite so many obstacles in his way.

Remember LF32, this is your battle, don't let yourself get steered down the wrong path or get into the whole getting one over on the ex. You do something wrong then you have to deal with the consequences.

[LovingFather32]

Sidelines.

I don't want a war on whos advice is best. Nobody in this thread knows what type of judge I'll have. Mr. Toronto is giving a holistic array of advice covering all areas. Not just telling me get a lawyer or you lose. I'm confused on how that is constructive. Anyhow I'm picking and choosing from everything but I'm pretty sure ive mentioned this a few times now.

I read workingdads posts...he was just as much of a wreck as I am at this point. Would he be a good mentor? Sure. Mr. T. Is damn good too. Perhaps he knows what he may have missed in his case and is applying it here.

Make no mistake though sidelines. I have my own mind.

[standing on the sidelines]

Sidelines.

I don't want a war on whos advice is best. Nobody in this thread knows what type of judge I'll have. Mr. Toronto is giving a holistic array of advice covering all areas. Not just telling me get a lawyer or you lose. I'm confused on how that is constructive. Anyhow I'm picking and choosing from everything but I'm pretty sure ive mentioned this a few times now.

I read workingdads posts...he was just as much of a wreck as I am at this point. Would he be a good mentor? Sure. Mr. T. Is damn good too. Perhaps he knows what he may have missed in his case and is applying it here.

Make no mistake though sidelines. I have my own mind.

Working Dad would be a very great mentor. Considering what he went through is close to your situation and had a favourable result. If you self-rep he is the most respected and successful self rep. You need someone who has been there and covered all his bases and didn't miss anything. Heck he was even successful at getting costs against a woman using legal aid. Not that collecting it is easy.

[LovingFather32]

I'm currently studying WD's threads. I really can't get over how inconsistent his ex was throughout. She really had a tough time.

WD did well. Would he be a good mentor? Certainly.

Every situation is different though...especially in family law.

WD is welcome at any point to help me out. I know he's been through a hell of a lot. So I'm not knocking on his door.

Don't sell Mr. T. Short. He has given some amazing advice.

I'm not here to kiss anybodys feet because of their name. (Not talking about WD). I have a daughter to get back. Can't afford lawyer right now. I'm working triples. Trying to get my $ up. Luckily group homes allow time to post from cell. If I walk into a store and say I can't afford bread....don't hand me bread. Its belittling and no help to me.

[standing on the sidelines]

I'm currently studying WD's threads. I really can't get over how inconsistent his ex was throughout. She really had a tough time.

WD did well. Would he be a good mentor? Certainly.

Every situation is different though...especially in family law.

WD is welcome at any point to help me out. I know he's been through a hell of a lot. So I'm not knocking on his door.

Don't sell Mr. T. Short. He has given some amazing advice.

I'm not here to kiss anybodys feet because of their name. I have a daughter to get back. Can't afford lawyer right now. I'm working triples. Trying to get my $ up. Luckily group homes allow time to post from cell. If I walk into a store and say I can't afford bread....don't hand me bread. Its belittling and no help to me.

its all a case of cutting back, downsizing and doing whatever you need to do to afford the bread. If someone wants something bad enough, they will do what they need to do to get what they want. No one is trying to belittle you by suggesting a lawyer. Far from it, they want you to succeed. If you find that belittling then that is up to you.

[Headwaters1]

i've reached out to WD specifically. I was hoping to pay him for his time to get me started. I think he is just exhausted from the whole exercise and who could blame him. Who would want to look at another affidavit after being through this for three years.

I too have read through most of his posts...in the early days he was as all of us come to the site...looking for answers, confused, emotional, he was angry, he went down some blind alleys.

In fact he was criticized in a strikingly similar way as LF32 is being critiqued here.

It makes him even larger a hero in my books. He isn't some naturally gifted genius in law. He was just a Dad, albeit a bright one, who focused and got it done. Lots of hard work etc.

So I laugh every time Tayken wants to take a piss on someone self representing here to say "you're no workingdad". Great. Then help us. To LF32's point...we came here to learn. We are not excluding anybody's advice. We are taking what we can get. There seems to be a few giving lots of advice and another group kicking the crap out of us for self repping and irrationally angry at anyone helping. I guess its a form of punishment not to provide advice? Your prerogative certainly.

I guess I'm saying...lend a hand or get the *&^ out of the way. None of us here have time for your elitism. We do however have all the time in the world for a little constructive advice.

[LovingFather32]

So give up primary residence? D3's habitual home? To downsize? I could do that and of course it would help financially, but isnt that leverage? (Matrimonial home)?

Was told many times to wait until the ink dries before downsizing.

[MrToronto]

I know when I'm effective when one of the "posy" show up to dump all over me

Yeah that chronology of background history and ensuring nothing in it can be used at a Trial, (would hurt some people)

I also knew moral outrage amongst a certain group would follow, sidelines was the first to wade in, but there are others trembling in indignation.

I like LF32 he's prepared to work at this, if he wasn't I wouldn't bother. I'm especially motivated by the heartless people here along with the legitimate people reading this thread in crisis.

I congratulate Working Dad on the success of his Trial, and like him I was self rep at mine.....but Trials are a failure between parties to settle, I don't recommend going to one.

If LF32 can settle this without a Trial he'll be a better man than anyone here, I give him credit for his patience

[Headwaters1]

So give up primary residence? D3's habitual home? To downsize? I could do that and of course it would help financially, but isnt that leverage? (Matrimonial home)?

Was told many times to wait until the ink dries before downsizing.

I downsized after separation but it was financially killing me to keep it. I do regret it. If at all possible, keep it. I think it plays stronger to a "place to come home to."

[LovingFather32]

I just don't get it. Mr T's been helping me take emotion out of the equation, giving great ideas for note taking, visuals for judges, posting canlii articles similar to my case, ...I could go on.

Yes Tayken has a wide knowledge-base. Nobodys ever disputed that. Does everybody get that my ex is in this for the long run? This won't be a year stint for me, nor a two year one.

I dont have $100,000 over the next 15 years to pay a lawyer. I need to learn the ropes. I need to learn to keep my damn emotions in check. Having said that .. yes I'm working on finances. Yes I'm going to have a lawyer definitely on the sidelines.

Ppl can post saying I'll lose. Ppl can say I'm not as good as other litigants .. sidelines thinks thats constructive .. I don't. Im continuing the high road. Mr. T promotes this. I am taking every minute of access seriously and making the most of it. I dont feel like I'm being high conflict for exploring avenues for more access. I don't care what sociologist articles certian ppl post. WD fought for more access. Didnt see any of those articles posted on his threads.


I'm learning patience. Thats an important ingredient for my success. And I'm starting to get it.

[Beachnana]

So give up primary residence? D3's habitual home? To downsize? I could do that and of course it would help financially, but isnt that leverage? (Matrimonial home)?

Was told many times to wait until the ink dries before downsizing.

Actually if Mom tells the judge she has no where to stay and will have to go to her family in another town for support and affordable home perhaps LF32 should offer the matrimonial home to her. Tell her here you go. I will get a small place down the road and we can have 50/50 parenting with our daughter.

Also offer help with household expenses until she has a job. Say for 6 months.


I think the trick is to show you will be as supportive as it takes to assist her in staying in the area.

[LovingFather32]

Actually if Mom tells the judge she has no where to stay and will have to go to her family in another town for support and affordable home perhaps LF32 should offer the matrimonial home to her. Tell her here you go. I will get a small place down the road and we can have 50/50 parenting with our daughter.

Also offer help with household expenses until she has a job. Say for 6 months.


I think the trick is to show you will be as supportive as it takes to assist her in staying in the area.

In a heartbeat id do that. Id help her with expenses for longer than 6 months
Unfortunately, shes on a mission of a different nature
...to completely erase me from her and D3's life.

[Beachnana]

In a heartbeat id do that.

I know you would. But as I said in an earlier post she is likely to try telling the judge she has home. Support, job etc in x location. And she will be a really good communicator and bring D3 for lots of visits. But she needs to be in x town because she has a full jib, family to support her etc.

Judge will be impressed and agree. You need to have a plan in place where she can stay in the habitual residence area and support herself.

I do not think judges like putting Moms in a situation where they are poor and unsupported.

Just from a women's perspective.