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  • Settlement Conference - Update

    Today was the settlement conference scheduled for 1:30pm; the ex's lawyer & I actually started hashing it out over settling issues at 1pm, so the court moved us to the bottom of the list to allow us time to go through everything.

    So lets just back up a step - originally I started with an emergency order in Jan 2006, hiring a lawyer a week later and finally after months and months of nothingness except legal bills I gave up the fight.
    Insert time passing along with lots of BS and reading up on as much FL stuff I could.

    I decided to take up the fight for CS and custody on my own - served the ex July 2008 - interim order after motion filed September 2008 - final order Feb 2009

    I was very detailed in all documents I filed, and stayed my course backing everything up with fact; it's the only way to get anywhere.

    The agreement ended up like this:

    • Sole custody awarded to me - no mobility clause as I'm not a person to move very much anyway, and when the children and I do finally move (hopefully after the school year), it will put the kids closer to the ex's present residence anyway
    • All matters regarding the children's educational, medical and/or religious upbringing at my sole discretion without his consent (I signed an additional agreement that allows him access to the kid's school records or doctor information etc but the onus is on him to request the information). Of course when/if they change schools or doctors I would notify him
    • Criminal matter adhered to (no contact with his CL spouse until Dec 2009), thereafter the order states that the children can never be left alone with her without his presence
    • His access of 2nd Sundays from 9am to 7pm continues, and any additional access to be at my discretion as long as the request is a) with reasonable notice and b) abides by the no contact/alone portions
    • Child support adjusted to the guideline amount based on his income retroactive to the date of the interim order Sept 16 2008 - thus owing an additional $415 X 4 months for a sum of $1660 arrears, also, adjusting child support to match the year in which he pays (an estimated amount) to the sum of $724 per month from Jan 09 thru Dec - adjusting the Jan payment by an additional $224 - total arrears of $1884
    • Effective Feb 28 09 CS of $724 to be paid along with an additional $150 monthly to pay down the arrears owing until paid.
    • Yearly notice of assessment to be provided - income to be compared to table CS and adjusted as such - thus if he should have paid more there will be an amount owing, if less, a credit to be given (which is only right)
    • The only additional expenses that I was concerned with at this point in time is the medical/dental - my work coverage is 80%, he is to submit what is remaining to his insurance (children MUST be covered under his plan as well) - this should provide the children with 100% coverage for most items
    • Passports - to my discretion as well - if I apply and they request his signature as well, the order states that he must sign it. That being said, if he wished to travel outside of Ontario, he cannot do so without my written consent.

    Anywho we hashed it out for just over 2 hours, the minutes of settlement were done up, and the whole signing/witnessing portion dealt with. We took it into the courtroom where the Judge read it and after having read through my filed documentation as well as the last minute documentation provided by the opposing side, he felt that the order was fair and just, that the CS amounts were proper to the children as the original offer they made of $500 was well below what was proper, and the middle ground found in regards to the access which allows for the onus to be on the ex to ask to see the kids more than he has been, but it ensures that first and foremost the no contact order be followed to Dec 2009 and thereafter the children not be left alone with his CL spouse.

    On a side note - I had to laugh at the majority of the content of their settlement conference brief, it was riddled with outright lies (previous court documentation to back that up) right up to them adding stuff about debts incurred during the marriage!
    I didn't file a thing under the divorce act for heaven sakes, this was about custody, access and support.

    I will certainly continue to stop in here regularly, even though this second time around the process from start to the final order was quick, hopefully I can bring something to the 'table' and help others who started out scared and confused at the beginning of it all.


    Thank you to everyone who ever responded to my posts, and even those who responded via private message (you know who you are).

    *I may have missed a thing or two in the post about the order etc, but you get the idea*

  • #2
    CONGRATULATIONS!

    I hate to say I told you so...but you didn't go to trial, did you?

    Now it's time to get on with your life. You must feel very relieved and drained at the same time. But I bet you still don't feel like a winner. I remember that's how it felt for me.

    Sleep well tonight!
    Last edited by dadtotheend; 02-03-2009, 11:39 PM.

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