Ok about a year and a half ago my exwife was arrested for assaulting her then live in boyfriend. A heated custody battle for my daughter ensued. I felt it was in my daughters best interest to be not exposed to my exwife. She has always had a temper and the attack on her exboyfriend crossed the line and proved that this anger could get violent, so I tried to get sole custody. In the end I did not win, but I did get my exwife to agree to seek counceling and keep me informed of the progress along with permission for her doctor to inform me if she is off her medication or not attending sessions.
As far as I know she is still on her meds and attending sessions, though in light of what I am about to say I intend to ask my ex to make an appointment to speak with the doctor.
Ok so here is the story. My girlfriend was watching my daughter one day and my daughter said that my ex and her boyfriend (new one, not the one she assaulted before) fought a lot, and in fact police had been called on them by someone my daughter (who is only 7) said "but it's ok 'cause it was only twice", she then proceeded to say that they often hit each other "but its ok because its only a little hitting", and that a window was broken, "but that's ok because it was only a car window". All of these justifications really worry me, because it means (in my mind) that my ex has been justifying violence and making violence seem like a reasonable reaction to anger, this is a very bad lesson to be teaching a seven year old. The worst part was when my daughter said to my Girlfriend "I am not really allowed to talk about it, so I shouldn't have told you".
I have called CAS about it, and they are opening and investigation into it, but it makes me ill that I have to let my daughter go to my ex's (we have shared 50/50 custody) and spend any serious amount of time there. I am worried on several fronts:
1) my ex's anger issues are escelating
2) her new boyfriend is obviously just as unstable
3) at any point a fight between those two might break out and they could easily accidentally hit my daughter
4) if my daughter pushes their buttons too much they might lose their temper and the anger will be directed at her
I am also worried that when this hits the fan my ex will use psychological warfair against me. During the last custody battle an interm order was given which gave my ex the right to supervised visits with my daughter at my ex's mother's house, during this time my daughter was constantly told how I was mad at mommy and that was why she was only allowed short visits with her.
As far as I know she is still on her meds and attending sessions, though in light of what I am about to say I intend to ask my ex to make an appointment to speak with the doctor.
Ok so here is the story. My girlfriend was watching my daughter one day and my daughter said that my ex and her boyfriend (new one, not the one she assaulted before) fought a lot, and in fact police had been called on them by someone my daughter (who is only 7) said "but it's ok 'cause it was only twice", she then proceeded to say that they often hit each other "but its ok because its only a little hitting", and that a window was broken, "but that's ok because it was only a car window". All of these justifications really worry me, because it means (in my mind) that my ex has been justifying violence and making violence seem like a reasonable reaction to anger, this is a very bad lesson to be teaching a seven year old. The worst part was when my daughter said to my Girlfriend "I am not really allowed to talk about it, so I shouldn't have told you".
I have called CAS about it, and they are opening and investigation into it, but it makes me ill that I have to let my daughter go to my ex's (we have shared 50/50 custody) and spend any serious amount of time there. I am worried on several fronts:
1) my ex's anger issues are escelating
2) her new boyfriend is obviously just as unstable
3) at any point a fight between those two might break out and they could easily accidentally hit my daughter
4) if my daughter pushes their buttons too much they might lose their temper and the anger will be directed at her
I am also worried that when this hits the fan my ex will use psychological warfair against me. During the last custody battle an interm order was given which gave my ex the right to supervised visits with my daughter at my ex's mother's house, during this time my daughter was constantly told how I was mad at mommy and that was why she was only allowed short visits with her.
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