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  • Need Objective Advice

    Hi, I am new to this forum, my first post, but have been reading with great interest for the past 2 months.


    Background: People involved:
    Myself
    former common law spouse
    I have 1 daughter 12 years old, from former marriage :I have joint custody with primary residence
    Together we have 1 daughter 5 years old
    In 1999 I moved back to my hometown when my daughter from my marriage was 4.5 as I wanted the support from my family I also had a boyfriend who lived there.
    I purchased a home (mortgage and deed fully in my name), he moved in to the home with me.
    I historically have paid more than 69% of all monthly household expenses
    I historically have done 75% plus of all daily household upkeep
    I have paid for all major renovations/maintenance of property (furnace, deck and fencing)
    Please note: CL spouse was fired from his employment in January of 2007 and has not paid any money towards any household expenses incurred after December 06 except he says he has paid -house insurance and Bell, I do not know if this is true or not - (in fact I was told that the Bell account was his personally and it was none of my business). NOTE- Update on house insurance- please see below...
    House Insurance Update - I received a bill (addressed to us jointly), from broker advising that the house insurance was not paid and the insurance would be terminated due to lack of payment. I have documents that show payment schedule and what was not paid. I paid out the house insurance for the term (no choice) to compensate for his lack of payment.

    I negotiated for an unsecured line of credit of $30,000.00 at the time I purchased the house. CL spouse requested the opportunity to turn his credit rating around by borrowing $16,000.00 from this line of credit to pay off debts he had. He also requested that his name be on the line of credit so that he could more easily facilitate making payments to that unsecured line of credit via electronic banking. The verbal agreement was made that this loan would be repaid in no more than 5 years (60 months), and that no one would remove money from that account without the others expressed permission. The only other item that went on to that unsecured line of credit by mutual agreement was the above ground swimming pool, purchased in June of 2000.
    CL spouse, did not repay the loan with in the specified period of time, in fact he removed more money from that account without my knowledge and it was over the limit. He started not paying the minimum monthly balance due on the unsecured line of credit, until the bank began removing money from a joint chequing account we held and my own personal account to pay that minimum monthly payment. Currently this line of credit has been frozen due to his lack of payment on this account. the outstanding balance is around $25,000.00 There was an overdraft on both the joint chequing account and my personal account, both of these overdrafts were removed by the bank as well. CL spouse also removed $2200.00 from the joint chequing account that I set up to pay household expenses (Childcare, groceries, mortgage, insurance) to which I deposited a certain amount of money in to per pay , to use for his own personal gain. I also had to make up that amount in order to pay off the expenses this money was earmarked for.
    CL spouse agreed as part of his contribution to the operations of the household expenses that he would pay the taxes for the property. he did not pay those taxes for more than 2 years, and it was unknown to me as he intercepted the tax bills (addressed to me) before I could receive them. Later on I found out that CL spouse was sending emails to an individual at the city tax office requesting more time as he was off work due to stress, and that some money would be forthcoming. In fact this was an out and out lie as he was not off work at all during that time period He ended up paying the taxes for the first roll in 06, sometime in December 2006, or January 2007 so therefore he has not paid for the taxes for 1/2 of 2006, and the first half of 2007. I have paid this overdue amount.
    Unbeknownst to me, CL spouse also added my name to a Leon's charge card, so that we could purchase some items for the house. Those mutally agreed on purchases were: 2 loveseats for the downstairs tv room, upstairs refrgerator,downstairs refrigerator, a chest freezer and a dishwasher. He also added to this amount without my knowledge until there was already an agreement by him to purchase a large screen television for use in the downstairs tv room (there was a perfectly good tv for down there) and a movie camera (which was a Christmas gift for me)
    There were many phone calls to the house from Citifinancial for the minimum amount due on these charges as he was not paying them on time, which I did not know for a certain period of time were linked to my name as well.
    CL spouse agreed as part of his contribution to the operations of the household expenses that he would pay Enbridge gas (house is heated by gas and there is a central air conditioner payment that is also on that) bill.. CL spouse did not pay the monthly payments, and I received messages on the answering machine more than once that stated the gas would be turned off due to lack of payment. This happened on more than one bill in question.When i received the bills in February there was an outstanding balance owed of: $300.00 which I paid off

    CL spouse agreed as part of his contribution to the operations of the household expenses that he would pay Hydro One (electricity). When I received the bill in February there was an outstanding amount owing of $300.00, of which is now up to date (I paid it)

    When CL spouse was fired from his employment in January, and I had no choice but to take over paying all of the bills, he told me they were all up to date. This was a lie, see documentation above
    Cl spouse claims that the Bell bill is up to date, yet when I checked said account, one week it was over $500.00 owing, then the next week he paid $350.00 of that. How did he do that without any incoming money? Please note, most of the charges were due to his using the pay per use chat lines at $25.00 per call. (Quest Personals) 2 years ago I found out he was using this "service", and requested he stop and also block those calls from being made. he agreed to that, yet the past bills prove that he did not stop, and still continues to use these chat lines.
    There have been numerous calls from creditors looking for money, for him personally, for us jointly (like the unknown leon's account)….and for me personally as I had to pay out unexpectedly for things he was supposed to be responsible for.
    I feel like I have been financially and emotionally destroyed over this. I had a good credit rating prior to this and now I imagine it is horrid.
    He is still living in this house (in the basement), and the emotional stress is killing me. He doesn't even see what he has done as being wrong, as if i am the one who is so rotten.


    I am going to the bank next week to see if they will allow me to absorb that line of credit in to my mortgage. I do not want that hanging over my head.

    Prior to his getting fired from his job on jan 6th, this was the agreed upon split of contributions:

    Him per month
    ELECTRICITY 100
    GAS & AIR CONDITIONER PAYMENT 178.26
    WATER/SEWAGE 33
    PROPERTY TAXES 153
    HOUSE INSURANCE 50
    PHONE/INTERNET 70
    CABLE 110

    total: 711.26 per month

    me per month:
    MORTGAGE & MTG INSURANCE 653
    GROCERIES FOR ALL MEMBERS OF HOUSEHOLD 520
    CHILDCARE 450

    total: 1623

    I also paid for the following:
    Fence and decking for backyard 5000
    Furnace 4300

    Please note - I also paid for 90%of all Christmas gifts for the children and for family members as well as 100 % of the children's extra curricular activities and birthday parties etc
    Does he have a case for unjust enrichment against me? In my opinion, no, yet I would like objective advice.
    Logically if CL spouse would have remained living where he was, his expenses are estimated as follows:

    would have paid rent (based on the previous arrangement he had at his friends ) to the amount of $400/month x 113 months 45200
    plus child support for our daughter based from her birth to present - $440/month multiplied by 60 26400
    personal & grocery items based at $200/month 22600
    This would be his living expense total if he would have stayed where he was based on the time he was living with me: 94200

    This is what he paid while living with me:

    ELECTRICITY 100/mos for 113months = 11300
    GAS 178.26/mos for 113 months =15424
    ($12204 & AC PAYMENT for 46 months = $ 70x 46 mos = 3220.)
    WATER/SEWAGE 33/mos for 113 months = 3729
    HOUSE INSURANCE 50/mos for 113 months = 5650
    PHONE/INTERNET 70/mos for 113 months = 7910
    CABLE 110/mos for 113months = 12430
    PROPERTY TAXES 2000/yr for 6.5 years (I paid the rest) = 13000
    The total he has paid while here is around: $63433.00

    Therefore he paid over $24,000.00 less living with me than he would have living on his own.

    Add to that the problems with all of the bills etc, and ruining my credit rating and me dealing with pissed off creditors I feel he is the enriched one.

    Sorry this was so long, can anyone out there give me an opinion?

  • #2
    k66,

    welcome to the forum


    what are the outstanding issues or you're asking what would be the potential issues in your post?

    lv

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by logicalvelocity
      k66,

      welcome to the forum


      what are the outstanding issues or you're asking what would be the potential issues in your post?

      lv
      I guess what I am asking is.....does he have solid ground for unjust enrichment...to my calculation and my logical thought....no, but I would like an opinion from this group

      Comment


      • #4
        k66,

        Read this thread http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/s...ead.php?t=2613 with the leading SCC case on unjust enrichment as it would be of great benefit to you. For a successful unjust enrichment claim; certain thresholds have to be met. Are you facing such a claim?



        lv

        Comment


        • #5
          Thank you for the link, I have read it and am hopeful. I am not sure if he will make the unjust enrichment claim or not, he still believes he has an automatic 50-50 split as if we were married becasue we have a child together. Which I know is not so. I am trying to totally cover all my bases to be prepared in case he does. I believe the unjust enrichment claim has a better chance of being thrown out if I absorb the unsecured line of credit in to my mortgage, which I have made an appointment to do. All of the transactions he did were electronic, and I have records, as well as histroical records of him not paying the bills he opted to pay for etc etc etc, so this would establish a pattern. If it is tossed without needing the absorbtion of that debt, then I will go after that as well, seperately. If you can think of anything else I can do to cover my errr....ass...ets (lol) I would appreciate it.

          Comment


          • #6
            k66,

            Keep a paper trail of all your transactions and perhaps store in a safety deposit box for safe keeping.

            lv

            Comment


            • #7
              thank you for the tip, yes I have a ton of copies of everything, are there any other potential issues I should be aware/concerned of?

              Comment


              • #8
                more questions...getting "sticky" maybe

                Originally posted by logicalvelocity
                k66,

                Keep a paper trail of all your transactions and perhaps store in a safety deposit box for safe keeping.

                lv

                Ok, I have absorbed the joint line of credit in to a new mortgage, and I am still paying all household expenses, the papers were removed and I now have a portable filing cabinet (lol-a laundry basket), in my car trunk as I needed it all when I went to the bank for the remortgage.......a few questions:
                1) He reported on his income tax that we have been separated since Dec 2005, so, in that case, would spousal support (if he requested that), be essentially over in Dec 07?
                2) Looking for leverage....if he threatens he wants spousal support, or threatenss constructive trust/unjust enrichment can I turn around and threaten to ask for child support for my daughter from my previous marriage? Her primary residence is with me and always has been. It is not something I was going to ask for, but I will use it as leverage to stop paying him, I have already lost enough money/credit reputation due to him.
                3) As the house deed and mortgage are solely in my name, can I simply change the locks? And what is the recourse if i do so? He is being absolutely miserable to my daughter, and to me. I do have concerns that if I give him warning he must move that the locks will be changed on a certain date he will take stuff that he should not take, yet if if I just change the locks, that will get him really angry and he will damage property. Door locks and property gates keep out the honest, not the deceptive. There are items I am concerned he will take that are not his, from the backyard (bbq, and other home maintenance stuff). And if he could not take it he just may destroy it out of spite.
                I am not out to take him for everything, but I really do feel I have paid enough. I have asked him several times to list what he feels entitled to so we can negotiate it, yet he ignores it, and just continues to sleep in the rec room, and he will not move out! This could stalemate forever, and to be honest, now that I paid off almost everything he racked up, I am BROKE! hiring a lawyer is out of my league, what do I do now?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Ok a point of view from another prospective

                  I am going through the "constrcutive trust" with me ex and from what I have read about ti and have been told there has to be at least some proff along the way that his contributions to the house equal that of yours and they will also take into consideration of what debts have been incurred by him, you and jointly, basically a fianancial disclosure of such.

                  Im my situation my ex and I moved into a piece of property in 2005 with my son from a previous of which I had the primary. Her parents were moving out of the country and gave her the chance to pick out a house where they could in fact store their goods if they ever were to return. We went out together as we had only been dating 2 months but it was serious and found a home that was close to my sons school and her dad put the deposit down with instructions that when she sold her condo the title to he home would be put into her name.

                  This was done and one month after she moved in to the house I did. Prior to even moving in I paid for the basement to be finished, of course I was smart enough to keep the bills for it. When I moved in I paid half the bills in the house plus we started buying things together, hot tub etc. After 6 months we got engaged and did a major renovation in the basement, en suite, new room to be built for her parents, well $16,000 later, 13 of that had come out of my pocket, once again I was still giving her money as well and kept a monthly record as I self employed of what I gave her.

                  I replaced the entire backyard, once again kept the bills and than in August of 2006 she sold her sports car as she became pregnant and I provided her a new car to drive and insured and paid mpre money into the house. September roles around and more renovations are done, another 6,000 dollars and i do the work with friends of mine as in the basement to keep the costs down.

                  We attempted to put my name on title but I was never divorced so I started proceedings and the bank said ok lets just make the mortgage account a joint account, which they did and when I had the divorce done (ex would have to sign off on the dower rights) than I would be free and clear to go on title.

                  Should add that we also bought a house in June of 2006 using the house as equity for both of us, in the end we backed out at the last minute as the fees became to high. Anyways we split, the house when we moved in together had 0 equity, now has $230,000 in equity. We had alwasy had an understanding that if anything happened we would split it down the core, ummm ya no, i was offered ready, $16,000, so my lawyer got ahold of it, liened the property and my "ex" told me she would deny me access if i tried to secure my rights with the house, well she did and not only that I got threatened the same day she found out by her parents, of course gave it to my lawyer.

                  The moral of the story is this, document everything, if u have it and have proof provide it to a good lawyer that not only handles family law but civil property division in which I have. Secondly go to the website for Equifax and run a credit file on yourself. The more inquiries you run the lower your credit score gets, so dont let the bank do it, you can get your fico score in minutes with a valud credit card and your ex wont know you ran it. You will also be able to see your credit history, dergaotry remarks and anything that may be effecting you, give this to your lawyer or have a credit person at the bank explain it to u.

                  Comment

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