Simple question: can you keep the matrimonial home? Yes or No

[Beachnana]

Originally Posted by mafia007

This is the worst advice ever... but I'll give you the benefit that you do not know my STBX. Trust me, I will have to deal with her for the next 15 years or so concerning the children and that's it. I don't wanna deal with anything else with her in the future. If I invest in a home and I am tide with her on living issues... landlord issues... etc... no way. Too stressful.

The point of a separation is to walk away from the other and be self sufficient. I already have my new home to accommodate my children. I first moved into an apartment and she was refusing access because she said it was too small to accommodate the children. I had to buy a house (downsize from the marital home) and moved away from the city (taxes were too high as well as the price of buying/renting house) to gain back my access. I'm only minutes away from the children's schools and the marital home. Still it was denied. It then proves that she is only acting nasty.

It is the same for her. She cannot afford the marital home and must be put on the market. She could get a more descent place where her mortgage would be more suitable to her income and have more for herself and the children. But her obsession to keep the house will definitely lead her to financial issues later on. Sounds like she doesn't want to understand.

You are right. I do not know your ex or you. But if a judge saw you were trying to assist in the relocate he would be more inclined to force the move. Sometimes you have to put your hand out even though they might bite it you hope they will have false teeth.

I had a friend in a similar situation. He found a rental, paid first and last. Went to,the judge and said he has helped all,he can to make this a good smooth transmission and the judge said yup. She has to leave,many you can sell the home. The. He simply took the first and last months rent out of the proceeds from the house.

He had been messing around for 3 years waiting to get to court to get her out. And they were not even his kids.

[mafia007]

As per consent and ordered by the Court,

House must be re-appraised as off today' date.
STBX has 30 days from this minutes to get pre-approved by the bank to refinance and buy my share with the new value of the property as per appraisal's review.
If she can, the house must be then transferred within the next 60 days.
If STBX cannot afford the matrimonial home, it will be listed with a specific realtor agent as per order.
Both parties must follow closely the clauses related to the sell of the house as per order. (to make sure no one will act unreasonable)

[mafia007]

Originally Posted by Janus

Anyone who can trust their ex that much probably isn't getting divorced in the first place. I would never let my ex live in any property I own, it would almost certainly be destroyed in the year before she had to move out.

You're right. We should only be tide and keep the communication for the sake of our children. Just that issue is plenty enough to lead into disputes and disagreements. So please avoid the opportunities of creating conflicts by assuming the responsibilities you use to handle during your union. All your STBX living matters shouldn't be your problem anymore.

[mafia007]

House was appraised but STBX is so predictable, she once again acted unreasonably. I was to go in (not that I really wanted to) with the appraiser to assist and observe with the appraisal but the ex block the way in... asked some silly questions to the appraiser and let him in to do the work. She then closed the door rapidly as I was to follow the guy inside and said that we (me and her) will stay outside while he perform his duty. I immediately went back near my vehicle as she could (and would) have open a drama if I would have tried and argue to go inside. Obviously, she has a lot to hide inside. I even tried to go in the backyard but the gate was locked. It never was during our 15 years of marriage.

Now she expect that I will negotiate with her if she can't keep the house? I really hope she can because I will get my share sooner and I know she will be struggling financially as her mortgage will sky high in dollar amount for sure.

[Tayken]

They take pictures of the entire house inside and out. No need for you to go in anyways really. If you live in Toronto or any surrounding city the appraisal isn't worth much these days. The market is unpredictable. I heard a judge in Mississauga spout this off the other day at a motion in Brampton. The Judge ignored the appraisal and simply went with an order to list the house for sale and told the other party to make an offer on the house. (The party also failed to produce evidence that they had the money to buy the other party out at market value.)

[mafia007]

I didn't want to be there in the first place. My lawyer said that I had to attend as I am still the owner of the property. At the very first sign of hostility, I move myself at the end of the driveway so neighbours could witness everything if she would have followed me. I stayed closely to my vehicle until the appraiser came outside.

The purpose is to have my share at a fare value. The first appraisal was conducted in January 2015 so we needed a new one. I know the market value would be higher but after all expenses related to the sell of the house (cleaning, painting, repairs, agent fees, legal fees...) at the end, the equity could be even or less. The point was just to force her to buy me out or list the house on the market if she can't afford as it was going for too long. Once again, I needed to get in front of the Court to make things moving forward and it shouldn't be that way. Her behavior to move the case forward to settle is very very poor. I'm keeping all the evidences for my costs.

[mafia007]

The appraisal came back 10K$ more than the first appraisal.

It is 20K$ more than what I have offered to STBX last April. It proves that when you are greedy, it will definitely slam in your face sometime later.

Now the answer to keep the matrimonial house is due today and we have yet received a response with the evidence from the bank that STBX can keep the house. If no answer is received by end of day, I am to call the realtor agent, specifically appointed and ordered by the Court to list the home on the market.

I know STBX lawyer is on vacation but the term's date is today and no mater what... no answer at all means she wasn't successful in getting approved for a new loan to buy me out. I guest the house will be listed on the market.

[FightingForFamily]

It's very rare for anyone to be able to keep the home unless they are extremely wealthy.

Being crippled with divorce costs (legal, support payments, equalization, etc) virtually guarantees that no one will be able to manage it on their own.

[mafia007]

Here is an update from the last motion.
We consented that STBX would make the necessary to get pre-approved and then the house would be transferred to her in 60 days. If not approved, the house would be listed.

Apparently, she was approved. They sent me a certificate from the bank showing she did. But they wont tell for how much she was approved and I need to know as I want to make sure she was approved so I can get my share of the equity and not just for the remainder of the loan. I refuse to sign the Acknowledgment and Direction with draft transfer until the transaction is final and that I am sure the funds will be deposited in my account.

I am suspicious that STBX only got approved for the outstanding amount of the loan and she will ask me to keep my pension at equalization process. This is not an option for me since I got into debts since I lost access to my house and I need to clear them in order to meet my obligations... as CS and arrears. Otherwise, I won't be able to make it. More of this, I've been requesting to have my share of the equity since the very start of our case and to share my pension.

I know it's nice to save our pension but instead of having to fight for that issue sometime in the future, I would prefer to share it right away for a fair and equitable treatment. I've could have done this last year but now, I need the equity of my house.

Can a judge refuse that I share my pension so that she keeps the house?

[mafia007]

Originally Posted by mafia007

Here is an update from the last motion.
We consented that STBX would make the necessary to get pre-approved and then the house would be transferred to her in 60 days. If not approved, the house would be listed.

Apparently, she was approved. They sent me a certificate from the bank showing she did. But they wont tell for how much she was approved and I need to know as I want to make sure she was approved so I can get my share of the equity and not just for the remainder of the loan. I refuse to sign the Acknowledgment and Direction with draft transfer until the transaction is final and that I am sure the funds will be deposited in my account.

I am suspicious that STBX only got approved for the outstanding amount of the loan and she will ask me to keep my pension at equalization process. This is not an option for me since I got into debts since I lost access to my house and I need to clear them in order to meet my obligations... as CS and arrears. Otherwise, I won't be able to make it. More of this, I've been requesting to have my share of the equity since the very start of our case and to share my pension.

I know it's nice to save our pension but instead of having to fight for that issue sometime in the future, I would prefer to share it right away for a fair and equitable treatment. I've could have done this last year but now, I need the equity of my house.

Can a judge refuse that I share my pension so that she keeps the house?

Any thoughts on this? I tried to find cases similar to this where a spouse would be disadvantage at equalization process by having assets that are not accessible until they retire. By refusing the transfer of half the pension, the other spouse faces the dilemma of having no equity (no cash) to pay his debts and buy a new home. This is really unfair for the spouse who has a big accumulated pension. It's like starting at zero if it's not under zero...