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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 05-10-2011, 04:37 PM
fozzie fozzie is offline
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Default financial settlement without custody agreement?

Ex will sign a sep agreement because he needs the financial settlement to get a mortgage. But he won't sign it if it says that the kids live with me primarily. They've been with me since he moved out of town 11 months ago. he refuses to move back to town so we will never have 50-50. He wants to leave the parenting arrangement out of the agreement to deal with later. I don't feel comfortable with that. What do you think?
thanks.
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Old 05-10-2011, 08:59 PM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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Well, in theory equalization and child custody are two separate issues, that could be dealt with separately. In practice, sometimes people haggle, trading hours with the child away for more money.

Even if you don't do that, if it is more important to you to have the child agreement dealt with, and you finish off the money part, then he has no incentive left to come to the second agreement and can just delay and delay.

I think it's better to do it all at once, personally. Do you know why he wants to leave parenting till later? Maybe once you identify that sticking point, you can deal with it and do it all together.
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Old 05-10-2011, 11:36 PM
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He doesn't want to sign the custody agreement because he thinks if he signs an agreement that says the kids are with me most of the time now, it will greatly reduce his chances of having them with him primarily later.
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Old 05-11-2011, 09:28 AM
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If that's all it is, then he's shooting himself in the foot, because delaying is only going to reinforce the status quo that they are with you.

As you said, if he moved away and insists he won't return, how does he expect to have them live primarily with him further later on? Unless he wants to rip them from their school, their neighbourhood, their friends...etc. How far away is he? How old are the children?

How antagonistic or amicable are things? Can you just point out to him that the major factor in him not being able to have 50-50 access is the distance at which he lives, not the signing of any agreement? His best way to have them live with him equally in the future is to move closer so he can have them live equally with him right now.
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:20 PM
fozzie fozzie is offline
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Thanks, Rioe for your message.
I know he knows that it's best for them to stay with me - he's just focusing on his own needs right now (and I think those of the new girlfriend). I'll just keep reminding him that we have to do what's best for the kids. he can't argue with that.
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