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  • Need advice ASAP please

    The current situation is this:

    I have our daughter for a week every christmas, which this year was from December 23 to 30. When I called the ex to see when I was going to drop her back, she said that she was out of town until the Jan 3rd, which was never agreed upon, which she thinks we agreed until the 3rd in a text message. I asked her to send the message to me, which she didnt. So all of my plans for new years went down the drain and I lost out on hotel, tickets, etc. She just said I should not complain about the extra time, which I replied its not the extra time but the fact that you had no consideration for myself or our daughter. This is far from the first time that she has just left town when I was suppose to drop off our daughter. I have had our daughter for every mothers day, every fathers day, almost every halloween, every christmas, almost every easter since she has been born, she is 5 now. Also, in September 21st 2011, she finally gave me Wednesday AM to Monday AM every second week. Also, the court order says we have joint custody yet the ex failed to notify or ask me about changing our daughter to a french program, which I wanted right from the beginning. Also, the last time our daughter came to me, she had boots on from 2 years ago, and ripped, with no snow pants on a cold day with ripped jeans on. It has been the norm for our daughter to come to me with small worn out clothes. Also, everything I have requested back over the last 4 years has never came back to me, while everything that the ex has requested has been sent back.

    There is far more to this story than I can write, and I am fed up at this point with her lack of consideration concerning me. So my question is this, what are my chances with a variation order for 50-50 time, to change her as last say after all other options have been sought, and for an order for our daughter to remain in the country without my written consent? Thank you all for your time.

  • #2
    Or what course of action should I take?

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    • #3
      If you are genuinely concerned and she is not cooperating or being fair then I would file a motion to change which is what you use to change a final order. I would seek the things that you ask for. Dont put it off at the very least it might give her a kick in the ass to be more responsible or cooperative.

      You may also be able to file a motion of contempt but from what I have read these barely fly and you need lots of undisputed evidence that she is breaching a court order. This may be a good way to give her a kick in the ass also.

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      • #4
        Contempt won't work in these types of matters......when the NCP gets extra time, judges rarely see it as a bad thing.

        This is one of those I suck up. Getting extra time with your kid is rarely a bad thing and, as much as it sucks that you are out some money, the chances of ever recouping that from your ex are non-existent.

        Regarding the French program, I don't think much will come of that either. Your ex may get reminded that she should discuss these matters with you, but it is a program you wanted anyway, so she will argue that she was just agreeing with you and blah blah forgot to mention or whatever.

        The clothes....this is a tough one. I don't like the idea of sending the child anywhere in clothes that are not appropriate. I would take pictures of the ratty clothes (not on the child, but after they are asleep) to show the ex isn't sending the child with appropriate clothes. I would also journal each outfit that the child goes to your ex's place and email your requests that the outfit is to return to your place upon the parenting exchange.

        If you can show a pattern that your ex isn't cooperating, it may cause a judge to say something to her. But outside of that, not much can be done.

        Comment

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