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  • Adult Child Returning to School

    Some background:

    Married or 29 years. Separated in 2009 and settled May 2012. SA was written up by the Arbitrator and it included a clause that" if my son returns to school the issue of whether he is a dependent child and entitled to be supported under the Child Support Guidelines under the Divorce Act, shall be dealth with my (Mr. Arbitrator) as a secondary arbitration under the current mediation. arbitration agreement.

    I have sent my x an email copied to my lawyer asking him for 1/3 of costs as I will abosrb 1/3 and our son will be responsible for 1/3. He has not responded and now my lawyer is sending the arbitrator a letter asking for arbitration.

    My eldest son was supported for 3 years of post grad work, (we were married at that time.)
    Is it unreasonable to ask for financial help for the youngest?

  • #2
    How old is your son?
    How long as he been considered NOT a dependent?

    I assume he is over the age of majority and has been out of school.

    Comment


    • #3
      My son is 26 and has not been a dependant since he finished his degree 2 years ago. He has been working and it now returning to law school.

      Comment


      • #4
        so he already has one degree. I am thinking you are sol due to that plus his age. I am not sure if it would be worth pursuing.

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        • #5
          Other may correct me if I am wrong, however it is my understanding that a parent only has to contribute for the first diploma or degree. The fact that your son already has this and has been working for two years, would tell me he is self sufficient. He is an adult and is deciding to go back to school. You no longer receive CS for him I assume, so you can no longer expect section 7 expense such as college tuition.

          This should be a conversation between him and his father, if his father wants to help great, but if not, he is an adult and his decision to return to school is his decision. You were married with the oldest, so that was a family decision. If you want to help your son that is awesome, but I don't believe his father has a legal obligation, unless it was agreed upon before hand?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
            Other may correct me if I am wrong, however it is my understanding that a parent only has to contribute for the first diploma or degree. The fact that your son already has this and has been working for two years, would tell me he is self sufficient. He is an adult and is deciding to go back to school. You no longer receive CS for him I assume, so you can no longer expect section 7 expense such as college tuition.

            This should be a conversation between him and his father, if his father wants to help great, but if not, he is an adult and his decision to return to school is his decision. You were married with the oldest, so that was a family decision. If you want to help your son that is awesome, but I don't believe his father has a legal obligation, unless it was agreed upon before hand?
            I agree, if the father wants to help that should be his decision. What happened in regards to the eldest son was during the marriage and should no be used as reasoning for helping the youngest. Hmm a youngest who is close to 30 years old, when does it end for support obligations regarding school?

            Comment


            • #7
              Really? I'm going to advise the opposite because I think that's awfully unfair.

              First of all, I'm sure that I've read around here that CS can be continued past a first degree, if a parent has a greater level of education them self.

              And if an older sibling was helped financially at a graduate level when the parents' marriage was intact, why should the younger sibling not be helped just because the parents are separated now?

              For me though, the big question would be is he going to live with one of the parents while he pursues this subsequent degree, or is he going to stay out on his own, and what did the first kid do? In other words, is this kid an adult or a student (I know they aren't mutually exclusive but I'm simplifying) and what precedent did his sibling set?

              Comment


              • #8
                The youngest is 26 and that is who is in question. The interesting thing is that it was in my SA agreement. Normally this is not included when a child is of majority age and has completed one degree. In this case is was made very clear that this would return to arbiration if the youngest child decides to continue with post grad work.
                I have not received any CS since we are divorced as both were not dependants.

                Our eldest son did a Master's degree and it was a science research degree so it was 3 years out of town. Both my husband and I have post graduate degrees.
                My youngest will be continuing his education (Law school) out of town also.
                He is presently living with me.
                Last edited by momforever1956; 11-08-2013, 10:41 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Your only saving grace may be that it is in your SA, however if he has worked for 2 years with the first degree and lived at home, one would assume he saved up money before pursuing more education.

                  Also, it is normal that section 7 expenses are paid for children that are no longer a child of the marriage? It would seem because they don't qualify as children, that there would be no legal obligation.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    My adult son will always be my son and I will probably always do whatever I can for him. This is the curse of motherhood I guess. I know I do way too much for him but I somehow feel a certain amount of guilt about our divorce and how it has effected him. Since our divorce my ex and son have not had much to do with each other. It is pretty sad.

                    If my son was going to further his education, at any age, and needed my financial assistance I would do anything I could to help him. I do know my ex would never help his son out in any way. That is his choice and I accept it.

                    If you want to help your son, do so and enjoy the payoff when he successfully completes his education. You must be very proud of your children. It sounds as though your encouragement and support in the past has been a great investment.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      My boys have stepped up to the plate and support my decision to divorce even though it has greatly effected their lives. My eldest said to me while discussing his brother returning to school, "Mom don't regret one thing you have done, you did the right thing and staying with Dad would have just made you a prostitute". Having said that, it does concern me that because we were married he was willing to support (lavishly) our eldest son out of town, including a visa card, rent, books, travel, car, insurance etc etc and now my youngest is being punished because I choose for good reason to part ways. My eldest son graduated with his Masters degree with a substantial bank account as he taught while completing his studies.
                      It just doesn't seem fair and I have a feeling the arbitrator (well respected as the guru of Family Law) put the clause in to protect us.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                        Your only saving grace may be that it is in your SA, however if he has worked for 2 years with the first degree and lived at home, one would assume he saved up money before pursuing more education.

                        Also, it is normal that section 7 expenses are paid for children that are no longer a child of the marriage? It would seem because they don't qualify as children, that there would be no legal obligation.
                        The quote in my SA states that we return to arbitration for a decision as to if he is a child of the marriage. I maybe wrong but I have a gut feeling that clause was put in there for this reason, otherwise as an adult there would be no question that he is no longer a dependant and therefore nothing to negotiate.
                        Last edited by momforever1956; 11-08-2013, 11:04 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by arabian View Post
                          My adult son will always be my son and I will probably always do whatever I can for him. This is the curse of motherhood I guess. I know I do way too much for him but I somehow feel a certain amount of guilt about our divorce and how it has effected him. Since our divorce my ex and son have not had much to do with each other. It is pretty sad.

                          If my son was going to further his education, at any age, and needed my financial assistance I would do anything I could to help him. I do know my ex would never help his son out in any way. That is his choice and I accept it.

                          If you want to help your son, do so and enjoy the payoff when he successfully completes his education. You must be very proud of your children. It sounds as though your encouragement and support in the past has been a great investment.
                          Thanks, they are my greatest joy. I will do everything I can, to support him emotionally and financially. There isnt anything more important on my priority list and the "pay off" has been great. Neither of the boys have a relationship with their father and of course it is blamed on me. They are adults and I have spent many an hour explaining to them that their relationship with their father has nothing and will never have anything to do with my love and support for them. There isnt a investment in the world that has returns that my children have given me, to add icing on the cake my eldest is married to an amazing, intelligent lady whom I adore and consider my child. Karma is a wonderful thing.
                          My question was basically to get feedback if my thinking is unreasonable.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            [55] In Hoadley v. Hoadley (1996), 36 Alta. L.R. (3d) 294, 177 A.R. 361 (Alta. Q.B.), it was held that a 26 year old, who was living with his mother and enrolled in a university program from which he was expected to graduate in two years, was no longer a "child of the marriage". Justice Nash outlines factors relevant to the determination of whether a child should be considered a "child of the marriage". These include, at 296-97:
                            1. the age of the child;

                            2. his or her ability;

                            3. his or her past performance in previous courses;

                            4. his or her determination to assist with study costs through summer employment;

                            5. the means of the paying spouse and any obligations to provide for the education of other children;

                            6. the plans of the parents with respect to the further education of the children especially where the plans were formulated jointly by the parents during cohabitation;

                            7. the appropriateness of the course selected to generate future employment;

                            8. the conduct of the parties and the condition, means and circumstances of each of them.

                            [56] Shannon's decision to attend university was not made in consultation with her father. This factor must be considered in determining whether Shannon is a "child of the marriage". As well, the Respondent is currently unemployed and his employment prospects are uncertain.

                            [57] Shannon is 26 years old. She has already completed two years of college, at which time she was a "child of the marriage" and "under the charge" of her parents. Since then, she has lived on her own for over three years and has worked various jobs to support herself. During this time, she was no longer "under the charge" of her parents.

                            [58] I adopt the words of Justice Nash in Hoadley v. Hoadley, supra, where she states, at 298:

                            There are cases which support the proposition that attendance at a post-secondary institute can be sufficient cause to prevent a child from withdrawing from the parent's charge or from obtaining the necessities of life. However, in considering the definition of "child of the marriage", some consideration must be given to the age of the individual who is in attendance at a post-secondary institution. The older that individual, the greater the weight that should be accorded the age. Otherwise, a divorced parent could remain legally obligated to financially support the child for as long as the child was in attendance at a post-secondary institution, regardless of the child's age.

                            . . . . .

                            Although children should be encouraged to pursue a higher education, at some point, they must assume financial responsibility for the expenses they incur.

                            [59] Shannon should be encouraged to be financially responsible. She has already been supported through two years of college, following which she lived away from her parents for over three years. I do not consider that Shannon is a "child of the marriage" and I find that there is no legal obligation on the part of Mr. McArthur to provide ongoing child support for Shannon.

                            [60] The application for ongoing child support for Shannon is denied.

                            [61] The Respondent in his action seeks damages for the Petitioner's failure to comply with the court order granted in Texas or an order that it is void and that the Petitioner is not entitled to spousal support. This issue has been dealt with in the foregoing reasons.

                            [62] In as much as there has been divided success in this matter I direct that no costs be payable by either party.
                            Order accordingly.
                            This is one case I found...McArthur v. McArthur, 1998 CanLII 18155

                            This was just a quick search... there are a few that accept and a few that deny based on age... I think you need to form your argument on what was in your SA.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Thanks B_F,,, I will roll with it for now. I will give more than my share to help him and encourage him.

                              Comment

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