Lucky to be fair
My agreement is not signed yet but...
After some initial lawyer talk etc, my ex and I broke through and we have agreed to a fair agreement for SS and CS. It is fair because we both know the situation and therefore are the best to know what fair is. It is fair because it treats us as individuals that were in a financial arrangement, an arrangement that has ended, so we just have to deal with the past, not the future. I am paying my ex a time limited SS which goes down every year until she is back to her full time earning potential. She stayed at home for 10 years with the kids, but she went and started her career again and it is easy for us to determine how much less she is making because of her time off. Our SS agreement does not change based on the future, BECAUSE WE ARE NO LONGER MARRIED. If she works more, or less, or myself, or we get remarried, who cares we are individuals now, the compensation stays the same regardless. CS is different as you have to look at what you actually make and we are just using the federal tables and adjusting once a year. We had nothing when we met, so we just split our assets/debts into two. It took some work and understanding to get to this point, but in the end is it fair, predictable, and a true end to our relationship. Though it is fair, I sure feel lucky given what I have read here and online. I also remember the times when I thought how horribly financially tied together we would be for the future - the system encourages fighting and people not to think about what is fair but to get what they are entitled to - which is for most people 'as much as they can'.
The Spousal Support Advisory Guideline is horrible - it takes away the facts from the situation and makes you joined with the person forever, which is a horrible feeling. If they mess up, or don't work, or you work hard, or are lucky after separation - they benifit which is completely crazy to me - who this hell is this person attached to your every move? It works both ways though, I don't want to depend on anyone if my life does not go as planned or my life does not go as well as theirs.
And end of a marriage should be an end and the courts and the lawyers that make the rules encourage it to go on forever. It most cases it is pretty easy to determine if the marriage benifitted or damanged someones career, and if so what is the compensation for that. If your spouse makes a lot of money and they would have if they had never been married, then you should not be entitled to their money. It should only be about what was gained or lost as a result of the marriage. So if your career suffered, then determine how much and get comepnsation which is fair and time limited. You do get half of the assets too, so the financial arrangement was equal.
It all seems so simple to me, but people are messed up, and so are the courts.
My agreement is not signed yet but...
After some initial lawyer talk etc, my ex and I broke through and we have agreed to a fair agreement for SS and CS. It is fair because we both know the situation and therefore are the best to know what fair is. It is fair because it treats us as individuals that were in a financial arrangement, an arrangement that has ended, so we just have to deal with the past, not the future. I am paying my ex a time limited SS which goes down every year until she is back to her full time earning potential. She stayed at home for 10 years with the kids, but she went and started her career again and it is easy for us to determine how much less she is making because of her time off. Our SS agreement does not change based on the future, BECAUSE WE ARE NO LONGER MARRIED. If she works more, or less, or myself, or we get remarried, who cares we are individuals now, the compensation stays the same regardless. CS is different as you have to look at what you actually make and we are just using the federal tables and adjusting once a year. We had nothing when we met, so we just split our assets/debts into two. It took some work and understanding to get to this point, but in the end is it fair, predictable, and a true end to our relationship. Though it is fair, I sure feel lucky given what I have read here and online. I also remember the times when I thought how horribly financially tied together we would be for the future - the system encourages fighting and people not to think about what is fair but to get what they are entitled to - which is for most people 'as much as they can'.
The Spousal Support Advisory Guideline is horrible - it takes away the facts from the situation and makes you joined with the person forever, which is a horrible feeling. If they mess up, or don't work, or you work hard, or are lucky after separation - they benifit which is completely crazy to me - who this hell is this person attached to your every move? It works both ways though, I don't want to depend on anyone if my life does not go as planned or my life does not go as well as theirs.
And end of a marriage should be an end and the courts and the lawyers that make the rules encourage it to go on forever. It most cases it is pretty easy to determine if the marriage benifitted or damanged someones career, and if so what is the compensation for that. If your spouse makes a lot of money and they would have if they had never been married, then you should not be entitled to their money. It should only be about what was gained or lost as a result of the marriage. So if your career suffered, then determine how much and get comepnsation which is fair and time limited. You do get half of the assets too, so the financial arrangement was equal.
It all seems so simple to me, but people are messed up, and so are the courts.
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