Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Financial Issues

Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 10-01-2010, 07:44 PM
Holly Holly is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 27
Holly is on a distinguished road
Default Anyone actually receive/pay spousal support?

Ex and I are going through division of assets with an arbitrator. Little mention has been made about spousal support even though ex has a company which is doing well and I stayed home as a homemaker for 12 years. Anyway. Ex did pay me $500.00 a month for 12 months when we first separated to help me out. He did this on his lawyer's recommendaton. That generous gesture seems to be it as far as support goes. Everything now is being split 50/50. Ex has a lawyer but I am self represented. Even though I see many questions about spousal support on these forums I am now wondering if anyone has actually recieved it or paid it ? I am in Alberta.
  #2  
Old 10-01-2010, 11:40 PM
rwm1273's Avatar
rwm1273 rwm1273 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Alberta, but would rather be in Africa.
Posts: 518
rwm1273 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

My ex got spousal support for a year, and we were only married for 10 months.

I am in Alberta, and the courts here are very willing to provide spousal support. Sounds like you were married long enough for you to be entitled for some spousal support.

Have you been to court? Have you filed anything yet?

Are there any children? Did you work before and after the children? Have you separated any assets? These are all questions that will need to be considered for a spousal support award.
  #3  
Old 10-03-2010, 06:35 AM
2010howard 2010howard is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1
2010howard is on a distinguished road
Default

Well I am in the joyful position of paying spousal support. My wife's lawyer told her to live off a line of credit since she quit her job before filing. When we went to court in Ontario the lawyers simply plugged in my company income to divorcemate software. The expenses she submitted were $2000 a month more than the family of 5 lived on. The income plugged in was 2 years after separation and a result of working 60 hoyr weeks away from home. The judge awarded her $6,200 a month. There was one 20 year old daughter living at home and not in scholl but since I was struggling to put her older sister through University the judge decided I should pay $1000 a month (so she wouldn't feel left out). My advice is go for it. The Ontario court system ignores the law and the guidelines. The only downside is that they bankrupt the payor and everyone loses eventually.
  #4  
Old 10-04-2010, 01:22 AM
Holly Holly is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 27
Holly is on a distinguished road
Default

I guess I will just have to wait to see what happens. I don't want much but I do want to know that I will not be left living a lesser life than I am living now and believe me, I don't live a fancy lifestyle. Ex has his own company and he does not draw a high salary from it so I truly cannot see him paying me much support. We were married for 25 years. Our kids are now adults and one is in University. We have not finalized division of assets but so far everything is being split right down the middle. I don't feel that 50/50 split is fair as I stayed home raising the kids while ex built up has business. Now I am 50 years old and cannot find a job paying what I should be making had I not stayed home with the kids. Meanwhile ex's business is growing and has potential to do quite well.
  #5  
Old 10-04-2010, 11:31 AM
billm's Avatar
billm billm is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,431
billm is on a distinguished road
Default

I pay and have absolutely no issue with it, given that our agreement is very fair and predictable.

We did not use income splitting but rather a simple business like approach where I pay for most of the damage to her career (a unionized nurse), as she stayed home with kids. She re certified as a nurse (which we both paid for equally out of family assets), then started near the bottom of the pay scale. Had she not stayed home with kids she would have been at top of pay scale so I pay her 2/3 of what she is missing out on, for 6 years when she should be at top of pay scale again (if she does what she should, if she does not, that is not my concern). Simple and fair and easy to calculate.

Of course all assets need to be split equally, but this would include the value of the company.

In your case though, from what you have said, you may be entitled to ownership in the company (perhaps 50%) or other form of spousal support given the length of marriage and possible permanent damage to your earning potential. I do believe in a clean break, meaning that your support should be based on what happened in the marriage, not on the future, and that you should work very hard to maximize your income.

What he draws from the business is not really relevant as he controls that, it is what the company is worth and how much the company earns. For example, I pay child support not based on what I pay myself, but on what my company earns (a 1 man company).

Perhaps if you get an evaluation of the company (which include future earnings potential and risk), you can offer that he buys you out of your 50% (which may be a substantial) in lieu of SS, OR, you use divorce mate (yuck) and forever tie your two incomes and lives together and share incomes.

Last edited by billm; 10-04-2010 at 11:36 AM.
  #6  
Old 10-04-2010, 12:44 PM
frustratedwithex frustratedwithex is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 504
frustratedwithex is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Do not wait and see what happens! Do some research, and find out what you need.

Your approach of,” I don’t want much but I don’t want to be left living a lesser life”, is not going to serve you well.

My situation is very similar to yours, and I have been very naïve believing my ex. when he said he would treat me fairly. The reality is very different. Because of age, no established career, trying to get some education (that I am paying for), so I can get some sort of income in order to support myself (at a minimal level), means what he believes to be fair, is anything but. When all is said and done, the difference in our current and future incomes is vast, and time is against me. I don’t have 25 years, (as he has had) to establish and advance a career. I can get a job, I’m not trying to avoid that, but it is highly unlikely I will ever come close to what his career pays.

My lawyer tried to point all of this out to me, and I continued to believe, as you do, that I don’t want much, just don’t want to retire and live in poverty. Until I saw a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA™), I did not fully understand how the division of assets would affect me in the future. Whatever deal he is trying to sell to you is in his best interest, not yours. You are vulnerable right now and maybe confused.

billm has given some very good suggestions, that would be a good place to start. You need some financial support, and you will need to find out what that looks like.
  #7  
Old 10-04-2010, 02:18 PM
frustratedwithex frustratedwithex is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 504
frustratedwithex is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

This information is from a website for a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA™).

10 Financial "Must-Knows"
to Successfully Survive Your Divorce

By Sharon Numerow
  1. Money will almost always become an issue in divorce
    • Many people start out thinking and believing the promise that things will always be divided evenly and straightforward
    • Money is sometimes used as a bargaining tool to resolve other issues
  2. Gather everything you can about your family finances
    • Make a list of your financial property
    • Gather statements and documents on all property
    • Frequently one partner is not "in-the-know" on the family finances which makes this task difficult
  3. Understand that a 50/50 division of property is not always fair financially
    • Take into account future value of property
    • Comparable values of different types of property are not always equal due to tax implications
  4. Consider the tax implications of all of your financial divorce decisions
    • Consider the year in which you divorce, your change in marital status will affect your tax situation
    • Consider the tax effect and true value of the assets you will retain
  5. Make sure that you can afford to keep the house before you settle this matter
    • Pre-qualify for a mortgage
    • Upkeep costs can be expensive, both financially and emotionally
  6. Understand the value of your investment and RRSP portfolios
    • Understand tax liabilities and advantages of different investments
  7. Ensure pensions are properly valued
    • Defined Benefit Plans must always be valued by a specialist
  8. Make sure that the payor of child and/or spousal support has life insurance to support these financial obligations
  9. Seek FINANCIAL consultation during your divorce from a divorce financial expert not from a lawyer
  10. Redo your will
  #8  
Old 10-04-2010, 08:01 PM
Holly Holly is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 27
Holly is on a distinguished road
Default

Thanks for all the information. Usually I am a very positive person but I must admit I feel defeated in this whole mediation/arbitration process. The arbitrator does seem to side with ex. For example, ex and I have one son who is 18 and away at University. Arbitrator told us ex does not have to pay child support. Instead he should send our son $100.00 a month for a living allowance. Can you believe that? Ex makes $100,000.00 per year and I am between jobs. My last job did pay $45,000.00 but I was term and the term has ended. At this point I think I must face reality and prepare for the worst. This process has dragged on for 3 years so now we have opted for the mediatior/arbitrator. I am so tired and so broke I just want this to end.
  #9  
Old 10-05-2010, 03:01 PM
frustratedwithex frustratedwithex is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 504
frustratedwithex is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

My experience is almost parallel to yours. We saw a mediator that seemed to side with him, he argues better and produces many spread sheets that seem to support his arguments, although once I have a chance to go over them, they are very flawed, but they certainly make him look like he knows what he is talking about.

I suspect you are feeling run down by the whole process. I feel the same way. What has helped me see everything in a very clear way, is the financial expert. My lawyer can run calculations based on the programs he has, but it is the financial expert that explains in very real terms, exactly how this will impact my life. For me, the advice of these two experts helps.

What your ex is proposing for child support seems low, but you should get some advice on this. I think someone on this forum has said you can get free advice, for child support, at the FLIC at the court house, but I have not used this service.

If you have not sought some sort of legal advice about your own particular situation, you should. I made this mistake. You can’t negotiate for yourself, if you don’t know where you should start. I allowed myself to believe that both the negotiator and my ex. would not work outside what the law allows, they did and it has cost me in legal fees to try and change this. You don’t have to pay a lot in legal fees if you know where should stand.

Many on this forum advise to try negotiating and then file with the courts. After three years I’m sure you have been trying to avoid this, it’s a scary decision, I know, but it does stop the endless negotiating and forces your ex to sit up and listen.
  #10  
Old 11-07-2010, 12:59 PM
Holly Holly is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 27
Holly is on a distinguished road
Default

Here is my update. It has been a long and winding road to say the least. Nothing has been signed yet but at the last meeting Ex showed his company's financials and his company has been reporting a loss for the last 2 years and therefore his income is grossly overstated. To make a long story short, I am now making what ex makes even though he claimed his income was approx $100,000.00 on his 2009 income tax return. It appears he has been overpaying himself- this decision from our arbitrator. I will not receive any spousal support and I am supposed to consider myself lucky that ex is not asking me for support. ( A reminder that I did not work for several years while the raising the kids and I am now in my mid fifties re-entering the work force) Ex has, out of the goodness of his heart, offered to pay our son's university expenses for the next 3 years if I agree to no spousal support. I am self represented so now I am supposed to run this by a lawyer so we can make this agreement a binding contract. That is how division of assets and spousal support are done in Alberta- the past is not considered and neither is the future. Only what is brought to the table at a very specific time is looked at and the divisons are made from there. Do I feel that I have been financially cheated on? Yes. Do I feel that my Ex had an advantage with having his high cost lawyer? Yes. Do I feel the arbitrator sided with Ex and his Lawyer? Definatley.
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Children's bennefits Wiser2008 Financial Issues 21 05-03-2019 07:21 AM
Spousal Support - Why It Matters Divorcemanagement Political Issues 83 11-28-2013 10:38 AM
Spousal Support NOT Wanted, Can She Sue For it After??? DanTess Financial Issues 12 03-31-2011 11:12 PM
Spousal Support...good or bad.. jlalex General Chat 32 07-22-2010 06:33 PM
The Concept: Standard of living gooddadgoingmad Divorce & Family Law 7 02-20-2006 10:59 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:25 PM.