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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 09-06-2012, 12:34 PM
roger roger is offline
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I'm just wondering when you people are going to wake up about seperation's or divorce. If one or the other does not bankrupt each other then I guarenty you the system or the lawyers will. Its not enough that we are demoralized by what happening to us and vunerable, that lawyers and the system comes and sucks us dry of our hard earn money. Our futur destroyed, dreams of retirement destroyed, college funds for kids gone. couples end up broke and the systeme and lawyers laughing all the way to the bank. Wow do we need to wakeup. Countless post of how lawyers and the system draining finances from people and mostly in the end, ending up with nothing more. What a joke must be something we can do to stop this. Suggestions welcomed.
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Old 09-06-2012, 12:46 PM
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So you're suggesting people should stop getting divorced?

Not really sure what the purpose or intention of your post is....?
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Old 09-06-2012, 12:52 PM
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I agree totally. Unfortunately people lose their minds when money and/or emotions are involved. The laws are too difficult for the layman to interpret, and the procedures seem too complicated.

Put aside the financial and emotional strains on a divorce. The time spent on it is ridiculous.
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Old 09-06-2012, 12:57 PM
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Oh, I think we are all awake. It's not our fault that the reality of Family Law is a nightmare, or that vindictive exes are still dreaming.
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Old 09-06-2012, 12:59 PM
WorkingDAD WorkingDAD is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr.mom View Post
I agree totally. Unfortunately people lose their minds when money and/or emotions are involved. The laws are too difficult for the layman to interpret, and the procedures seem too complicated.

Put aside the financial and emotional strains on a divorce. The time spent on it is ridiculous.
It's as difficult as people make it difficult. For too mature individuals (who still respect each other and able to put children's interest first) divorse is not difficult.

Spending 100s of thousands on court instead of put it towards kids education is just beyond my ability to comprehend ...

WD
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Old 09-06-2012, 01:16 PM
shellshocked22 shellshocked22 is offline
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I totally agree with original poster's comments. However, it's pretty obvious the system is DESIGNED to basically bankrupt people to the benefit of the laywers and never ending "fees" charged by the courts. Divorce is a multi billion dollar "industry" with lawyers, judges, courts, government employees, psychologists, mediators, the list goes on making huge money from it.

Keep in mind that politician's set the "rules". Guess what most politicians are trained as ? You got it - LAWYERS !!!! Do you really think they would be stupid enough to cut down the money tree for them and their colleagues.

The Family Law guidelines are ridiculously unfair - they basically appeal to the "greed" of the recipient and terrify the payor. Voila ! Built in animosity - blend with our adversarial system, and the money starts flowing for the divorce industry !!

Honestly, I firmly believe if there was some magic solution to make Divorce fair, reasonable and inexpensive that the govt (and the divorce industry) would fight it tooth and nail. At the risk of being labelled a conspiracy nut, I think that's why the govt doesn't MANDATE couples to take a Family Law course BEFORE marriage. You note they mandate it just prior to divorce - why not before marriage. Likely since anyone who has a half a brain and is likely to make more than min wage would run screaming away from the altar. Ooops, no marriage, then the industry loses out on the divorce gravy train.

As is everything else in life, it's all about the MONEY !!!!!!!!!!

You have to admit though, althoughFamily Law is corrupt and evil, its brilliantly designed to extract money from victims to the "system". Too bad you couldn't buy stock in it lol; I could retire today !!!
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Old 09-06-2012, 01:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WorkingDAD View Post
It's as difficult as people make it difficult. For too mature individuals (who still respect each other and able to put children's interest first) divorse is not difficult.

Spending 100s of thousands on court instead of put it towards kids education is just beyond my ability to comprehend ...

WD
You are quite correct, WD.

Our divorce cost us out-of-pocket $350 for ILA, together with the filing fees at the court house to file the paperwork.
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Old 09-06-2012, 01:58 PM
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I paid $3500 total for a custody agreement and an amendment.

I was able to mediate most my issues with my ex.

To me, having seen both sides of the issue (well, not that I do family law, but lawyers at my firm do), I blame the people more than the industry.

If those who were divorcing had half a head on their shoulders they would:

1. understand there are 2 parents, and understand that it is in the children's best interests to have a meaningful relationship with each parent (when there are kids).

2. they'd be honest. They'd be honest with their ex, with their lawyer and with themselves. It isn't hard to provide financial disclosure to your ex. It isn't hard to NOT make false accusations. It also isn't hard to know what you want to achieve (outside of simply divorcing) and then having a range of compromises you are willing to do to get that ultimate goal.

3. control their lawyer. The lawyer is your representative. If they are going in a direction you don't agree with. Tell them. If you can't work it out, you fire them and move along.

4. Control your emotions. The courts, the lawyers, the worlds....pretty much anyone who isn't you, doesn't care how you feel. Guilt, anger, revenge, sadness etc have no place in court. There is no remedy that will get you vengence outside of moving on with your life.

If people could pull their heads out of their ass, get over the woe is me or emotional high they are on in relation to their ex, there'd be a lot less money for the lawyers.
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Old 09-06-2012, 02:15 PM
roger roger is offline
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should a systeme in place that does not requier intervention of blood sucking lawyers. Het Provincial taxes are paying for these systems should be enough. People will never divorcing that not what I'm saying. You be able to walk in to courts and have the judge decide if the parties cant decide for themselfs
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Old 09-06-2012, 02:19 PM
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Also total strangers that dont know us from a hole in the ground making decision for us and grabbing our money at the same time. Wake up people.
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