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  • #16
    It is extremely difficult to ignore a difficult ex. I know. Every day I struggle with 'not engaging' my ex when he sends me crazy emails. It's what he wants. To goad me and bring me to his angry place. He gets satisfaction from it. But I'm determined not to give it to him, and thankfully, I have lots of support.

    You have a whole forum here for support. Use it. Listen to NBDad - he's a super smart guy. You MUST control your responses. It's rough but you have to be the bigger person no matter what. So lean, vent, breath deep, lock yourself in a room and yell, but whatever you do - don't engage.

    And good luck!
    Last edited by HappyMomma; 06-29-2011, 09:50 AM.

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    • #17
      OK guys/gals here is the latest,the wife has denied me total access to the kids and says I won't see them until the separation agreement is on paper which is due to go to court on the 11th.To add to the fun the Crown has added a mischief charge stating that I pulled the phone cord out of the wall and didn't let her call the police which is a total lie when I kicked the tv on to the ground the cord popped out as the little peg on the cord is missing and if you breathe on it the wrong way it pops out.Why is it if you have a penis there is absolutely no justice????

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      • #18
        *sigh* Get the criminal charge dealt with first and foremost.
        Get a family law attorney and kick his ass into gear to get you an interim order.
        You were setup good but screwed yourself due to losing your temper.

        Stop talking to the ex, lawyer up and manage them. Don't dig yourself any deeper until you 1. Get the criminal charge dismissed and 2. get an interim order.

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        • #19
          Criminal lawyer already set up and dealing with the charges.Interim order being drawn up today by my family lawyer.They even tried to get my daughter to testify against me but it fell through seeing as my daughter reported as I made the motion to but did not spit at her just like I said that I did so I guess that backfired on them and now they are grasping at straws to get me on something.Did I mention the argument stemmed because I found out she actually was fired from her job and not laid off for stealing $3000 from their cash office.

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          • #20
            Its only a suggestion but I would recommend taking some sort of anger management classes and enrolling in therapy. Doubt you need it but I think it would look very good on your part.

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            • #21
              Already looked into it,I agree it looks good when the court comes up.Never been in trouble with the law and no history ever of any violence what so ever in 12 years of marriage BUT I know she'll put her "spin" on it.

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              • #22
                She can create whatever history that she wants. It would show that you are trying to be the best dad and that mistakes happen but that it is not a part of you.

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                • #23
                  Unless of course they use the fact you voluntarily sought anger management help as a way to prove you have anger issues.

                  Mistakes happen, you lost your temper, won't happen again your honor. She was fired for stealing money from her employer and between everything else and the stress of the separation I made an honest mistake.

                  It's all glitter farting unicorns and fluffy pink bunnies dude...no matter how much you'd like to throttle her.

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                  • #24
                    LOL. Thanks.I now finally have a temporary access schedule in place and now it's time to lay the hammer down! Filed for spousal support,half the $ we get each month for the kids from the government and joint custody.I for one still see the need to have their mother in their lives for issues that involve them and that's why I haven't filed for full custody BUT if she pushes me I will definitely file for it.

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                    • #25
                      " I found out she actually was fired from her job and not laid off for stealing $3000 from their cash office".

                      A copy of the police report or some sort of documentation could be very useful for you when she tries to knock down your character.

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                      • #26
                        Totally agreed already asked for it.Got a conditional discharge today on the charges so that part is history.YAHOO...

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                        • #27
                          Hi all,so here is what has happened since last post I have had the assault charge dropped and agreed to attend the anger management program which I have 2 classes left and then the 2 mischief charges are dropped as it was a conditional sentence.I do currently have a 60/40 split when I get to see my kids HOWEVER the actual hours I get are not close to the 60/40 she is making it out to be.My access is as follows Tuesday after school until Wed morning when I drop them off at school then I get them Fri after school until Sun at 8 pm the week following my weekend access is Tues after school until Thurs morning dropoff at school.I am fighting for either a week on week off access or a rotating 2.5 days with me and then 2.5 days with her.I went to a conference and the "civil court judge" that was sitting basically beat me up and ran with whatever she brought up and basically in open court stated he tends to side with the women when it comes to this sort of thing so I took everything he said with a grain of salt and now we are headed for mediation this week.She is going for full custody which I doubt will happen.Any advice or pointers?

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                          • #28
                            I am also pushing that when she has to work the kids should be in my care and not left with the grandparents.Also I have asked the OCL for the 2nd time to get involved because I want the kids opinions and concerns to be heard in an open court.

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