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paris · #11 04-28-2014, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by init'sowntime

... im going over in ten minutes, wish me luck.

Does anyone worry when a poster posts they are going to their ex's house, and you don't hear from them for 24 hours?

Berner_Faith · #12 04-28-2014, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paris

Does anyone worry when a poster posts they are going to their ex's house, and you don't hear from them for 24 hours?

Yes it is worrisome, as this poster was active for a while... I hope nothing bad happened and he didn't end up arrested

Janibel · #13 04-28-2014, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paris

Does anyone worry when a poster posts they are going to their ex's house, and you don't hear from them for 24 hours?

I'm sure he's ok, there's no restraining order issued against him. Hopefully he brought a witness like he did last time as things can change quickly when it pertains to the MH, case in point:

For the last 2 years or so I have been asking my lawyer to please tell STBX to make arrangements to clear out his junk from the property.

I'm not exaggerating when I call his stuff JUNK ... old lumber, garage full of useless, rusted objects (27 years of accumulated clutter). In my opinion STBX suffers from some kind of hoarding problem among other issues.

Long story short - because of the 3 year restraining order, he must be accompanied by 2 officers to gain access to our property.

I get a call on Saturday from a police officer requesting my Ok for STBX to come clean up his hoard - fine with me that's what I wanted. Problem is they tell me that they will be arriving in one hour? One hour?

standing on the sidelines · #14 04-28-2014, 10:01 PM

hmm when I click on his name to check his public profile I get that message that he isn't registered??

init'sowntime · #15 04-28-2014, 10:55 PM

Hello everyone, thank you for all your support and good thoughts. the video i took of the inside of the residence sealed the deal. The damage was horrendus to say the least. I am now being offered a settlement of all matters between us as a cash settlement because the assets are now destroyed and worth nothing.

Her parents came in and rescued her yet again, but that is not my problem. fingers crossed that tomorrow i will have the agreement in my hands and signed.

For all of you out there, who have been wrongfully accused of abuse, I want to let you know, that videotaping everything has ended this, and it was the smartest thing Ive ever done. trust your gut. If I had taken that angry lawyer letter to heart and had not gone to the house , and if I had not called their bluff about slapping another protection order on me, I wouldn't be in the position i am in now.

in 24hrs, i might just be free to begin my new life as a free man.

ps I don't know why I keep showing up as unregistered I've wondered that too, but i don't know how to fix it. i wouldn't be here if I wasn't registered would i?

arabian · #16 04-29-2014, 12:23 AM

I'm relieved to hear that things are working out for you. Stay safe and travel with a camera and a buddy.

stripes · #17 04-29-2014, 01:07 PM

Congratulations! I'm sorry you had to see the sorry state of your property, but if you've got a decent cash settlement, you can move ahead and get on with building your new life.

FB_ · #18 04-29-2014, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stripes

I'm sorry to hear your visit did not go well. One thing you may wish to consider is that if the property is in as bad shape as you say, there are probably several municipal bylaw violations (sanitation, fire hazard, health hazard, etc). You may wish to report this to your city bylaw enforcement officials, who can issue a ticket or a warning to your ex. Your local city councillor's office can tell you how to report a nuisance property. On the one hand, doing this sucks because the house is still in your name and so the violation is in your name too; on the other hand, it's a way to get independent and objective corroboration of the state of the property (and maybe even get your ex to clean it up a bit, or keep it from getting worse). Your ex would probably be mad if she figures out you made the complaint, but it sounds like she couldn't get much more hostile than she is now, anyway.

I believe my ex used the city in an attempt to get the value of our house lowered so she could keep it.

We were issued an "Order to Comply"

Quote:

An inspection carried out on July 5th, 2012 revealed that your premises does not conform with the applicable by-law of the Corporation of the City of Brampton. Accordingly, an order has been made requiring you to make the repairs and corrections. We advise you read the attached Order carefully

The following items were noted

Lose chimney bricks
Peeling paint of the siding
Peeling paint on the garage door
Loose boards on our back deck

After speaking with the city all they could tell me was someone called and complained. To this day there still remain 2 houses very near me that are in far worse repair than mine and neither of them were every issued any sanctions. This was 3 weeks after my ex found out she qualified for $20K less than what the house was worth.

If it was my ex it backfired because she had to pay for 50% of all the repair costs. She tried to claim that it should be split proportionally but that didn't fly.

FB_ · #19 04-29-2014, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by init'sowntime

Hello everyone, thank you for all your support and good thoughts. the video i took of the inside of the residence sealed the deal. The damage was horrendus to say the least. I am now being offered a settlement of all matters between us as a cash settlement because the assets are now destroyed and worth nothing.

Her parents came in and rescued her yet again, but that is not my problem. fingers crossed that tomorrow i will have the agreement in my hands and signed.

For all of you out there, who have been wrongfully accused of abuse, I want to let you know, that videotaping everything has ended this, and it was the smartest thing Ive ever done. trust your gut. If I had taken that angry lawyer letter to heart and had not gone to the house , and if I had not called their bluff about slapping another protection order on me, I wouldn't be in the position i am in now.

in 24hrs, i might just be free to begin my new life as a free man.

ps I don't know why I keep showing up as unregistered I've wondered that too, but i don't know how to fix it. i wouldn't be here if I wasn't registered would i?

Yes, congratulations.

init'sowntime · #20 05-02-2014, 10:51 PM

So after all is said and done the other side has had all week to draft this agreement and I've heard nothing...I'm starting to think that the stbx threw a tantrum at the agreement her parents and I reached and refuses to let it go forward. It could be that they backed out. I don't know.

this week has been a roller coaster and I was SO CLOSE to ending this. we agreed to a settlement, but now they've gone quiet. Her mother kept repeating this is a "good faith" agreement. It is a legal term, but can my ex refuse to see it through claiming she agreed to nothing? in the meantime I have to sit here because I can't do anything because we're in negotiation?

I'm feeling stuck, my stomach has been upset all week, I'm not sleeping well...I'm just having a hard time coping. I was so hopeful this was over. But I'm starting to wonder if this was a stall tactic. If her parents backed out on her how would I know? and If they have then how do I know when "good faith" negotiations are over? when she tries to get another protection order?

Sorry for the rant, but I'm stretched super thin this week. Any thoughts or advice would be welcome..

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