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Originally posted by Tayken
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YOu really need to read up on the case law for parallel parenting. The best definition can be found in this case and is in my honest opinion brilliantly written by the justice (Paragraphs 68 through 96):
V.K. v. T. S., 2011 ONSC 4305 (CanLII)
Date: 2011-09-09
Docket: DF 2217/09
URL: CanLII - 2011 ONSC 4305 (CanLII)
Citation: V.K. v. T. S., 2011 ONSC 4305 (CanLII)
With regards to OFW and not using it / common excuses:
Our Family Wizard: An Excellent Tool for Co-Parenting with a High-Conflict Person, Part 1 l Dr Tara J. Palmatier | Shrink4Men
OurFamily Wizard, Part 2: Common Excuses Made by High-Conflict Parents Not to Use OFW and Effective Counter-Arguments l Dr Tara J. Palmatier | Shrink4Men
The odds of getting it court ordered are high now thanks to case law:
CanLII - Search all CanLII Databases
You are blowing hot and cold on the topic of custody at the same time. Judges don't really appreciate the "if" conditions on custodial requests. Make a solid stance on a position with an alternative. Generally, the application would be for sole and/or joint if the court determines so.
You deal with the issue when it occurs and possibly not now. The court does not make orders on the predictions of the future. Walk the fine line on the "mental health" issues.
Has a court ordered otherwise regarding your custody and access? If not, then by law you are a full joint custodial parent with equal access. Don't antagonize about what the court may take away and trying to establish what you already have. Focus on the children and demonstrate your capacity to parent, love and care for the children.
As I stated earlier in another thread somewhere. It is easy to make an application to court for "sole custody" and "majority access". Much harder to litigate that through and be successful for either party in a matter.
Always realize that... *Stressful* and *uncertain*. Don't let that rule your life! Notice your emotion, name it and do something about it.
False allegations are not a good thing. They lead to complex cases and trial more often than not. Address the allegations properly though. Don't dwell on them. It is very hard to do. The sudden realization that the other person in your life whom you had children with is willing to lie to get what they want. Do realize that they are just as anxious as you are... Possibly more anxious.
Note the red highlight and correction. Minor but, if you want to demonstrate yourself as an equal and joint custodial parent you need to think, act and behave as one. The idea of "my children" should be eliminated from your vocabulary. (My personal opinion.)
Children are resilient. Children grow up in extreme poverty to become healthy adults and even on to better and bigger things. Often people see their children as zip lock bags filled with milk. Don't drop it or it will pop and there will be a big mess to clean up and you will never get the milk back into the bag! Kids don't work that way. Children are very adaptive.
Good Luck!
Tayken
V.K. v. T. S., 2011 ONSC 4305 (CanLII)
Date: 2011-09-09
Docket: DF 2217/09
URL: CanLII - 2011 ONSC 4305 (CanLII)
Citation: V.K. v. T. S., 2011 ONSC 4305 (CanLII)
With regards to OFW and not using it / common excuses:
Our Family Wizard: An Excellent Tool for Co-Parenting with a High-Conflict Person, Part 1 l Dr Tara J. Palmatier | Shrink4Men
OurFamily Wizard, Part 2: Common Excuses Made by High-Conflict Parents Not to Use OFW and Effective Counter-Arguments l Dr Tara J. Palmatier | Shrink4Men
The odds of getting it court ordered are high now thanks to case law:
CanLII - Search all CanLII Databases
You are blowing hot and cold on the topic of custody at the same time. Judges don't really appreciate the "if" conditions on custodial requests. Make a solid stance on a position with an alternative. Generally, the application would be for sole and/or joint if the court determines so.
You deal with the issue when it occurs and possibly not now. The court does not make orders on the predictions of the future. Walk the fine line on the "mental health" issues.
Has a court ordered otherwise regarding your custody and access? If not, then by law you are a full joint custodial parent with equal access. Don't antagonize about what the court may take away and trying to establish what you already have. Focus on the children and demonstrate your capacity to parent, love and care for the children.
As I stated earlier in another thread somewhere. It is easy to make an application to court for "sole custody" and "majority access". Much harder to litigate that through and be successful for either party in a matter.
Always realize that... *Stressful* and *uncertain*. Don't let that rule your life! Notice your emotion, name it and do something about it.
False allegations are not a good thing. They lead to complex cases and trial more often than not. Address the allegations properly though. Don't dwell on them. It is very hard to do. The sudden realization that the other person in your life whom you had children with is willing to lie to get what they want. Do realize that they are just as anxious as you are... Possibly more anxious.
Note the red highlight and correction. Minor but, if you want to demonstrate yourself as an equal and joint custodial parent you need to think, act and behave as one. The idea of "my children" should be eliminated from your vocabulary. (My personal opinion.)
Children are resilient. Children grow up in extreme poverty to become healthy adults and even on to better and bigger things. Often people see their children as zip lock bags filled with milk. Don't drop it or it will pop and there will be a big mess to clean up and you will never get the milk back into the bag! Kids don't work that way. Children are very adaptive.
Good Luck!
Tayken
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