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What to say in the trial?

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  • What to say in the trial?

    I am preparing for the trial.

    I currently have 5/15 over nights. every Tuesday, pick up kids from school and drop off on Thursday Morning. every other Friday, pick up kids from school and drop off on next Monday morning.

    I am seeking 50% 50% custody and joint decision making.

    I propose 2,2,3 schedule.

    Unfortunately, The custody assessment gave my ex the finial decision role because she made an allegation that I refuse to communicate with her. I can provide lots of back and forth emails to prove this allegation is false.

    My lawyer want me to think the answer why I think 2,2,3 would be better and joint decision making would be better for the kids.

    I am not quite sure about how to answer it. Could anyone please help me on this?

    Thanks,

  • #2
    I am not quite sure about how to answer it. Could anyone please help me on this?
    This is not a question people on this forum can answer. We've never met your kids, and know nothing about your work/life/living situation.

    Also, if you cannot answer this question, maybe seeking 2,2,3 (or shared parenting time) is not the best move. It seems like you want it more for your interests than the children's.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks for the reply,

      For 2,2,3 parenting time, I know why I want it. and what my answer is, I ask because I am not quite sure how to say it properly. To me, I believe equal parenting is the best insteresting of the Children. But there seems be lots of cases end up 5/14 parenting. I just finished a SC, the judge also said giving me 2 more days is okay, continue with current schedule is also fine.

      I might want to get some insight about what a Judge really think is matter about the best interest of children. but I think concluding I want it more for my interests than my children's is not right or proper.

      Comment


      • #4
        2-2-3, 2-2-5, 7 day on/off are all 50/50.

        You didn't know how to answer the question "why do you want 2-2-3?"
        I would say you are in a bit of trouble. Language/communication skills may end up hurting you. Maybe that is what they mean by "not communicating"

        Say please and thank you in all your emails.
        When the other lawyer asks if your ex is a good person say "yes, mostly", the more you get along the better for you getting to make decisions.

        More than that I don't know what to say.

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks a lot for the advices.

          I am actually confident about the emails. I met a counselor right after separation. He told me always be professional and polite in the email communication. In my opinion, the assessor will agree that I did not refuse to communicate if she saw the back and forth emails. I just did not think I need to do that in the interview, instead, I just simply denied it.

          But I do worry about my speaking in the court. especially something I said might be thought to be offence and I even can not aware. I can't do the similar thing like in the email to start with "Thanks for your writing" to indicate I actually trying to be polite

          Comment


          • #6
            Instead of "refuse to communicate", think "refuse to come to agreements"...

            I'm guessing the lots of back and forth emails could go against you.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by StillPaying View Post
              Instead of "refuse to communicate", think "refuse to come to agreements"...

              I'm guessing the lots of back and forth emails could go against you.
              Exactly, the evidence she used to prove I refuse to communicate to her are 2 emails I said we can discuss this through lawyer.

              I actually just saw this forum at that time, and read some post about how dangerous it is to communicate through emails. I felt threat about those 2 topic
              in the threads my ex used as evidence, then I thought it would be safer to say "let's discuss through lawyer". but it ends up that assessor believed her that I refuse to communicate with her directly.

              So some suggestion is actually not practical. Avoid email does not work, reply email with being polite does not work , involving lawyer does not work. even agreeing with everything doesn't work, because you can make mistake when execute the agreement.

              Based on my experience, DO not trying to avoid allegation, because you will always get it if someone want to allergy you. but keep being reasonable, and making sure you are able to provide your own explanation.

              So I don't really worry about the emails will against me, because I am 100% sure it will. and I have my answers for each of them. and I know I have tried my best to be reasonable. if eventually the Judge agree with my ex more. then I would just accept it. but at least I have tried my best to get 50:50.

              Comment


              • #8
                I see no reason why you won't get joint custody with shared 50:50 access. Based on what you've said though, I believe ex would get final say over custody issues.

                Instead of answers, focus on any communications with ex where agreements were made.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thanks @Brampton33, My lawyer said I have 50% chance to get 50:50. I am not worry about my email, but I send some texts messages with anger before I met the concellor. ( There is no threat, security thing , but quite not polite ..) That will put me in a bad position...

                  She actually made lots of allergation about I am bad Father, not able to parenting the kids well when I parenting the kids and there is status quo. Etc.

                  Not sure what I will get ... ... , I hope it won't be bad ..

                  Comment

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