wife may use "domestic violence" to get child custody.

[canniiee]

@canniiee. I would never beat her, nor anyone else. The reason I fear she may bring this up is to mess child custody issue. And I wouldn't even bother if my lawyer didn't advice me that she may bring this up and lie her teeth out because how things are going, I may get full custody because she practicality abandoned our child.

But today again I begged her to spend more time with the child. Not because of her but because of the kid.

Well from what my friend just went through with his psycho ex, nothing she said held, up she had no proof of her allegations, but he also had several letters from people, including me, his ex's aunt and others who vouched for him as an EXCELLENT father, SO maybe this is something you can do as well... Try to keep all communication with her in writing so by email or text, if she really is avoiding time with the child then I can't see why a judge would change the status quo. Again, I don't know your whole story so I'm just going by what you've said, but if she has no proof that you've abused her and if you can prove your with the child 90% of the time, I don't see why a judge would change that........

Have you been to court yet over any of this, or are you just going for your case conference, what stage are you at?

[Edward]

We are still negotiating.

[Stargate]

Your wife (and many other women) will use the battered wife syndrome to get what they want in Court. If she has police reports and/or photos of bruises you're in for an uphill battle.

[singledad99]

First of all, all of you get your statistics correct. Almost EQUAL number of men are abused by their partners. Most men will not report abuse or even admit being abused because they are too embarrassed to do that. I don't have the source of my information handy but it is easy to look up on the internet. (perhaps the data is already there on this forum). It is not okay to abuse anyone and it is not okay to tolerate abuse either.

Edward, I have got two words for you: Get Help. You seem to have more than anger management problem. I think you also need to learn how to let go of your ex. You are reporting a long history of domestic violence and yet you are being so nice to her. (She does not seem to care about your niceness) You seem to believe in everything that she tells you. She says one thing and does completely opposite. Don't blame her family, accept that it is really her who does not want you or your son.

Sorry if I am being too straight forward but the sooner you accept the reality the better for you and your son.

[Stargate]

First of all, all of you get your statistics correct. Almost EQUAL number of men are abused by their partners. Most men will not report abuse or even admit being abused because they are too embarrassed to do that. I don't have the source of my information handy but it is easy to look up on the internet. (perhaps the data is already there on this forum). It is not okay to abuse anyone and it is not okay to tolerate abuse either.

Edward, I have got two words for you: Get Help. You seem to have more than anger management problem. I think you also need to learn how to let go of your ex. You are reporting a long history of domestic violence and yet you are being so nice to her. (She does not seem to care about your niceness) You seem to believe in everything that she tells you. She says one thing and does completely opposite. Don't blame her family, accept that it is really her who does not want you or your son.

Sorry if I am being too straight forward but the sooner you accept the reality the better for you and your son.

Well said.

[helplessDad]

I also have a very aggressive wife (still not "EX" yet). I totally understand where you are coming from. my wife's family is destroying us as well.

every time I get hit, bitten, or kicked, I take pictures of the bruises on my body. so if she accuses me of being abusive, I can at least prove I was the one who was being abused.

[canniiee]

I also have a very aggressive wife (still not "EX" yet). I totally understand where you are coming from. my wife's family is destroying us as well.

every time I get hit, bitten, or kicked, I take pictures of the bruises on my body. so if she accuses me of being abusive, I can at least prove I was the one who was being abused.

I would highly suggest that you take pictures and file police reports as these things happen, you should also end your relationship, its not healthy one bit. My ex, as much as he is a good Dad to my kids, was controlling and very negative towards me, and now I am in a healthy and happy relationship and I can't even express just how amazing it is.

[singledad99]

I would highly suggest that you take pictures and file police reports as these things happen, you should also end your relationship, its not healthy one bit. My ex, as much as he is a good Dad to my kids, was controlling and very negative towards me, and now I am in a healthy and happy relationship and I can't even express just how amazing it is.

I second that. Most victims(men or women) believe that the abuse is actually their fault or that the abusive person will change. If police is not solution to your problem then insist that she gets some help. If she refuses to do that, she is not the one for you - you deserve better!

[dadtotheend]

Ignorant??? HA!

It is NEVER ok to hit a woman...

If she was attacking you, you walk away, or call the police.

It is not ok that you suffered abuse either, but that doesn't excuse "hitting her back".

Easy for you to say. I got hit too, the shit kicked out of me a FEW times and I'm 6' 2" 230 lbs. And after getting slapped around a few dozen times, a little self defence is not unreasonable.

Please don't try that crap about it's never OK. You have no idea. Too bad it gets totally twisted into abuse when the reality was that I (and the guy who started this thread) was getting abused.

There's no question that the vast majority of domestic violence is perpetrated by men.

But NEVER say never.

[dadtotheend]

She is one of those people who would fight you now and 5 minutes later like nothing happened.

Check out the second paragraph of this page, specfically:

``Does he or she do things that to you seem beyond comprehension; and then carry on as if those actions made no difference?``

Sociopath - Richard Skerritt Books - Dalkeith Press

A light went on for me when I read it 2 years ago.

[dadtotheend]

every time I get hit, bitten, or kicked, I take pictures of the bruises on my body. so if she accuses me of being abusive, I can at least prove I was the one who was being abused.

Those pics will prove that you were injured, not necessarily by her.

[billiechic]

There's no question that the vast majority of domestic violence is perpetrated by men.

But NEVER say never.

I disagree. I think that women probably commit domestic violence a LOT more than we know. They do it differently, as it is harder for most women to physically intimidate their partners. Women abusers are emotional and mental batterers, much harder to detect. She can be very demeaning, critical and is probably crushing any self-respect he has. Men are expected to just "stand there and take it", when really they are being abused.

At least there are resources out there for women who are being abused. There are practically no services for men, and I can only imagine how small one must feel to have to admit that his wife is abusing him. It is nothing to be ashamed of, but society does not take these people seriously. A sad fact for sure.

[dadtotheend]

Agreed,

I was referring to physical domestic abuse.

But you`re right.

[representingself]

Easy for you to say. I got hit too, the shit kicked out of me a FEW times and I'm 6' 2" 230 lbs. And after getting slapped around a few dozen times, a little self defence is not unreasonable.

Please don't try that crap about it's never OK. You have no idea. Too bad it gets totally twisted into abuse when the reality was that I (and the guy who started this thread) was getting abused.

There's no question that the vast majority of domestic violence is perpetrated by men.

But NEVER say never.

Listen buddy..... I already apologized to Edward for my rash response to his post....

I am a 5'2 120 pound woman who has had the chit kicked out of me what feels like hundreds of times by one of my ex boyfriends... I have had teeth replaced and was thrown down a flight of stairs...so don't you dare tell ME that I have no idea.

It is NEVER ok to hit anyone and especially WRONG for a physically stronger, larger person to hit a smaller, weaker person!!

A 6'2'', 230 pound man (as you are) can easily restrain or remove himself from physical abuse by a woman... unless she was at least 6'2'' and 230 pounds as well!!

There is NO self defense there...

Hitting a woman is paramount to a pitbull fighting a Chihuahua!

[helplessDad]

Those pics will prove that you were injured, not necessarily by her.

you may have a good point there.