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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 03-16-2009, 07:12 PM
amhoush amhoush is offline
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Default Father is seeking child custody/joint custody!

I am desparately looking for some online sources (or some advice)regarding child custody in Ontario. I was wondering if anybody knows any link to any useful/resourceful website on fathers taking child custody. I have NO knowlegde on child custody and my x-wife is taking my only daughter away from me. I feel helpless and hopeless. I do have a lawyer but I just don't know how good he is. We just started the process of negociation with my x-wife's lawyer but my x does not want to cooperate and she wants the full custody of my child, although everybody including her lawyer is telling her you can not do this. I have always been there for my child and absolutely done nothing wrong in terms of parenting and I don't know were this child custody will drag me to. Any suggestion would help.
Thanks.
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Old 03-16-2009, 07:24 PM
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Every parent has equal rights when it comes to their child(ren); unfortunately your ex is being unreasonable and selfish. Continue fighting for joint/shared custody, also draw up a 'plan' of sorts that is child centered which details reasonable access which will allow you and your ex to share in raising your child, giving each other as much equal time as possible, and being involved in all aspects of raising the child. This includes medical, educational, religious etc.

Cover all the bases at the same time in regards to custody, access, child support, that you both must agree on choices for the child and/or inform before making decisions, but also cover mobility issues - meaning what if, somewhere in the future, she wants to up & move away with your child.

Ball it all into one as much as you can to avoid more court and legal fees later on.

Best of luck.
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Old 03-16-2009, 07:29 PM
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There certainly is a lot of information and help here you will find, so you have made an important step.

Please provide more information so others can give a more informed opinion of your situation.

How long were you married, what were the child rearing responsibilities during the marriage, how long have you been separated, what has happened since separation with respect to custody, child support, what is the aproximate age of the child, etc.

You have a moral right to raise your child and to me that means shared custody, with you in physical custody of the child half the time and a decision maker for all significant things in her life. Even if you have not been as hands on with your child while married, things have changed and if you feel you are capable and have the desire there is no reason that you should not raise your child in a 50/50 shared custody regime.

One piece of advice is to start immediately having as much time and parenting with your child now as the courts don't like to change things so be involved and if your ex interferes with this, document how she does it, and perhaps try to get an emergency order establishing shared custody.

It is not her child alone, your daughter is equally yours, and raising her is a job that should be done by both of you.
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Old 03-16-2009, 07:57 PM
amhoush amhoush is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amhoush View Post
I am desparately looking for some online sources (or some advice)regarding child custody in Ontario. I was wondering if anybody knows any link to any useful/resourceful website on fathers taking child custody. I have NO knowlegde on child custody and my x-wife is taking my only daughter away from me. I feel helpless and hopeless. I do have a lawyer but I just don't know how good he is. We just started the process of negociation with my x-wife's lawyer but my x does not want to cooperate and she wants the full custody of my child, although everybody including her lawyer is telling her you can not do this. I have always been there for my child and absolutely done nothing wrong in terms of parenting and I don't know were this child custody will drag me to. Any suggestion would help.
Thanks.
It has been about 2 months that we have been separated and believe it or not I used to do almost everything for my daughter (who is 6 years old), including helping her with her homeworks, preparing foods for her school lunch and clothes, putting her to bed and reading her stories, taking her to different after school classes, preparing her for the school in the morining; and basically most of her mom's job as well. As a matter of the fact, I am so in love with my daughter that sometimes I feel I should have done more. Right now I still buy her foods and cloths and pay for her different classes she is taking. Unfortunately, I get to see her about 10 hours per week and as far as I know she loves me very much. I also get to talk to her every night for 5 to 10 minute at a specific time which is round 9:00 PM. But have no idea how she is doing at the school.
Thanks for the replies everybody.
  #5  
Old 03-17-2009, 05:40 AM
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Everything MEN need to know about child custody in Canada.

http://www.dadscanada.com/

http://www.canlaw.com/rights/fathers.htm

These are father friendly sites, and should offer useful information.

Last edited by FL_Needs_To_Change; 03-17-2009 at 05:50 AM.
  #6  
Old 03-17-2009, 11:08 AM
amhoush amhoush is offline
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Thank you FL_Needs_To_Change. The website www.dadscanada.com seems to be outdated and no info is posted there. And the organizations on www.canlaw.com helping dads in eastern ontario in ottawa area no longer available.
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Old 03-17-2009, 11:20 AM
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I just popped over to the “dads canand”a site and they offer a wide range of services from completing family court forms to assisting advocates prepare reports and analysis to be submitted to provincial and federal governments.

And Can Law is a link to other resources either via telephone or email to get help for fathers going through the family law system by clicking on the "Ontario" link.

Don't under estimate the help, so long as the help is from the province you are in, the laws and rules apply.
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Old 03-17-2009, 11:52 AM
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Ottawa Men'S Centre Divorce News Summary 613-797-3237 (613-797-DADS)

Here is another father friendly site, they offer lawyer referral services, directories for laws and legislation, links to all the law societies relative to province etc.
  #9  
Old 03-17-2009, 12:06 PM
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I was awarded sole custody of my child but there were extenuating circumstances and behaviour of the father......if you claim you are the driving force for your child in life and school then take charge........if you leave your child witht he ex she will be able to establish defacto custody......once obtained VERY HARD to reverse......why do you not have weekends with ur daughter??......do you live within the same area or school district as the ex......if so try to take child one week and she takes her the other week.......you get two weeks per month and the ex two weeks a month this may stop defacto custody from being established.......just a thought
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Old 03-17-2009, 12:39 PM
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amhoush,

You were the main or at least equal care giver for your child. Now suddenly her mother has sole custody. You have to immediately go to 50/50 physical custody with your daughter or you may lose her. Either work something out with her mother, or get a lawyer and file emergency order. 2 months is not a status quo by any means, but don't wait. She has no right to sole custody, but being a man does not help you. By all means you don't need anything, just tell her mother that 50/50 is the way things are, but the reality is that if the police get involved they will probably side with her at this point.

Any parent that would keep the other parent from having access or feel they can decide custody is not looking at the best interest of the child, and has issues, assuming that you are a reasonable parent, which from your words you are better than her.

Last edited by billm; 03-17-2009 at 12:42 PM.
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