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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 10-07-2010, 08:49 PM
ConcernenedStepMom78 ConcernenedStepMom78 is offline
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Default Can we Start Fresh? Our Story ...Can you offer Advice?

Hello all in the forum. ConcernedDad and I think perhaps our story is fragmented so nobody can actually offer decent advice. So we are going to try and start again and see what happens.

My husband and his former spouse seperated on February 1 2008. ConcernedDad moved out and found residency within walking distance of his now fromer spouse. In November 2008 they adopted a 16 week co-parenting plan around the respondent's work schedule, with joint custody and shared care. Although this schedule was dysfunctional, it facilitated maximum contact with both parents. In August 2009 the respondent (his former spouse) emailed ConcernedDad (CD) stating that she was moving out on Oct 24 to live with her bf 100km away claiming she drowning financially and could no longer afford to live here....so he better get used to that idea, that the kids could contine in the same school for this year but maybe next year they may want to live with her and go to school there and he could have the kids every weekend. She told him that some leeway would be needed in their schedule and that they may need to figure out a meeting place halfway between the homes to make this work...... Needless to say CD was devastated and started asking around. We were told to file an application, so he did , he filed an application to try and keep his kids from being moved away from him on September 16 2009. Within a matter of a week the respondent took out a personal loan in the amount of $3500 with her parents to retain a lawyer, and shortly thereafter he had a hearing, but her lawyer wanted to adjourn, and we were told that status quo was to remain and the kids were NOT to be removed from their residency where they resided with applicant and respondent (the 16 week was a domestic contract) The respondents lawyer was told that status quo was in place and the kids were NOT to be moved, she said she would inform her client, but to her knowledge her client had no intention of moving that she was aware of (give me a break, that was the sole reason for filing!) At this point the respondent actually was mostly already moved and excercising her access at her "new" residence...she was "oficially" moved out by the end of september 2009. On October 20 2009 the parties had a case conference that was adjourned until December 15 2009 and they were advised to seek mediation services. On October 28 2009 my husband filed a motion to be heard on Nov 24, on this day the respondents lawyer was not available and she had a "fill in", the Judge adjourned but made a temp order in which the schedule was set for a two week time frame with a return date of November 18 to argue the motion, the two week schedule made sure each party had a weekend, and the respondent had a mid week as well as a thursday that was a PA day, at this time the Judge also ordered OCL involvement. November 18 parties go back to argue motion but nothing has been heard back from OCL, different Judge Orders them to go back to the original 16 week schedule because respondent's lawyer says there is no problem with it, even though 5 minutes previously her lawyer was trying to settle the matter because she stated that the respondent agreed it would not work, so Judge makes oder to return to 16 week and adjourns again until December 15 waiting to hear back from OCL. Dec 15 Never happens because OCL didnt relpy back with the denial that would soon come until december 7...Now supposedly sometime shortly hereafter the respondents lawyer states to her that she is working less so she should pay less in child support ...agreed amount via sep. agreement is $600/mo, conveniently around x-mas time respondent pays less on her own accord without a court order to reduce. Previously in emails she uses revocation of child support as blackmail, and challenged CD to go to FRO....SO when she lowers child support of her own accord in December CD files an application for FRO intervention, the respondents lawyer who at this time was not actually even her lawyer anymore, (yet we were not informed) questioned CD's reasoning for filing an application with FRO considering they were in litigation and asking for his withdrawl from FRO. At this point the respondent has lowered hours in employment and sometime in December she took a "strees" leave from work we have evidence from her former lawyer...she stated that CD was causing her stress, and now we assume she is going for medical claims. So FRO gets involved...arrears were file from 2008 this was true and can be proven, but she tried to fight it, with no resolve. From March-August parties have 4 settlement conferesnce with no resolve, since March 201 the respondent has lowered her income, changed jobs,evaded FRO and somehow keeps getting away with all this. She told FRO she is broke and there is nothing they can dobecause she does not have the money, FRO filed a request to her new employer for garnisment but her employer hasn't complied, she lost her extended benefits for the kids, and her fight is to continue this...this is my summed up version and we are begging for your assistence and advice. She will not take less that 50/50 or 40/60 split...Question 1) There is a temp court order in place that they follow the 16 week schedule, yet the respondent deviates continously picking up and dropping off whenever the schedule does not suit her needs. CD's former lawyer stated to him if she can dictate and variate the court ordered schedule, then so can he so he took his now former lawyers advice and told her how it was going to be.....She sought Duty Counsel services and they sent his lawyer an email stating he could be held in contempt. So his former lawyer said maybe she is right....Yet she can continually deviate and do whatever she wants....Granted we want her more time we are NOT arguing that, but right now we live in an "on-call" lifestyle, the respondent is fightingfor more time saying shge doesnt get enough ...its insane on a level that is ludicrous and we are losing our minds over this...a year of this and NOTHING NOTHING done...Now it is a new month she is behind $100 in child support and when my husband calls FRO to find out if any payment has been made they inform him she isnt orking enough and that her "new" employer hasn't conformed to their request for garnishment...and the saga continues PLEASE HELP!!!!
  #2  
Old 10-07-2010, 10:03 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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Conveying your stuff in Paragraphs will be helpful. What's the kids schedule like now and how they managing access to both parent's despite the ongoing legal tugofwar process.
  #3  
Old 10-07-2010, 10:50 PM
ConcernenedStepMom78 ConcernenedStepMom78 is offline
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I appologize, yes I wish I had separated things in more paragraphs after posting.

After moving 100km this is what the truth of what the "daughter is being made to endure"...Can YOu Follw it...including deviations?

A= Applicant( My husband)
R=Respondent (My husband's Ex)

The children's schedule is:
14 year old son, chose on his own not to endure the isolation of his mothers house where he felt pressured and abused. He did not like driving the extensive drives and he now admits it had much to do with his academic failure last year.
Okay, you better be ready for this, since you asked.

Mother (Respondent) – Daytime 7am to 7pm Work Schedule – 4 Weeks
Week 1-2 Works: Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat, Sun, Wed, Thurs
(Father)Applicant: Picks up on Sunday at 8:00 pm to Tuesday at 7:30 pm
(mother)Respondent: Picks up on Tuesday at 7:30pm to Thursday at 7:30pm
(father)Applicant: Picks up on Thursday at 7:30pm to Sunday at 8:00pm
Respondent: Picks up on Sunday at 8:00pm to Tuesday at 7:30pm
Applicant: Picks up on Tuesday at 7:30pm to Thursday at 7:30pm
Respondent: Picks up on Thursday at 7:30pm to Sunday at 8:00pm
Week 3-4 Works: Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat, Sun, Wed, Thurs
Applicant: Picks up on Sunday at 8:00 pm to Tuesday at 7:30 pm
Respondent: Picks up on Tuesday at 7:30pm to Thursday at 7:30pm
Applicant: Picks up on Thursday at 7:30pm to Sunday at 8:00pm
Respondent: Picks up on Sunday at 8:00pm to Tuesday at 7:30pm
Apllicant: Picks up on Tuesday at 7:30pm to Thursday at 7:30pm
A: Picks up on Thursday at 7:30pm to Monday at 8:30am
(bring to school)
– (to Monday at 5:30pm during Holidays,
Spring & Summer Breaks)

R – Night time 7pm to 7am Work Schedule – 2 Weeks
A
: Picks up on Monday at 3:30pm (after school) – (on Monday at
5:30pm during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)
to
Wednesday 3:30pm (after school)
– (to Wednesday at 8:00am
during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)

R: Picks up on Wednesday at 3:30pm (after school) – (
on
Wednesday at 8:00am during Holidays, Spring & Summer
Breaks)
to Friday at 3:30pm (after school) – (to Friday at
5:30pm during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)

A: Picks up on Friday at 3:30pm (after school) –
(on Friday at
5:30pm during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)
to Monday
3:30pm (after school)
– (to Monday at 8:00am during
Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)

R: Picks up on Monday at 3:30pm (after school) – (on
Monday at 8:00am during Holidays, Spring & Summer
Breaks) to Wednesday at 3:30pm (after school) –
(to
Wednesday at 5:30pm during Holidays, Spring & Summer
Breaks)

A: Picks up on Wednesday at 3:30pm (after school) –
(on
Wednesday at 5:30pm during Holidays, Spring & Summer
Breaks)
to Friday 3:30pm (after school) – (on Friday at 8:00am
during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)

R: Picks up on Friday at 3:30pm (after school) –
(on Friday at
8:00am during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)
to
Sunday at 8:00pm

R – Daytime 7am to 7pm Work Schedule – 4 Weeks
  #4  
Old 10-07-2010, 10:50 PM
ConcernenedStepMom78 ConcernenedStepMom78 is offline
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Week 7-8 Works: Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat, Sun, Wed, Thurs
A: Picks up on Sunday at 8:00pm to Tuesday at 7:30 pm
R: Picks up on Tuesday at 7:30pm to Thursday at 7:30pm
A: Picks up on Thursday at 7:30pm to Sunday at 8:00pm
R: Picks up on Sunday at 8:00pm to Tuesday at 7:30pm
A: Picks up on Tuesday at 7:30pm to Thursday at 7:30pm
Week 9-10 Works: Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat, Sun, Wed, Thurs
R: Picks up on Thursday at 7:30pm to Sunday at 8:00pm
A: Picks up on Sunday at 8:00 pm to Tuesday at 7:30 pm
R: Picks up on Tuesday at 7:30pm to Thursday at 7:30pm
A: Picks up on Thursday at 7:30pm to Sunday at 8:00pm
R: Picks up on Sunday at 8:00pm to Tuesday at 7:30pm
A: Picks up on Tuesday at 7:30pm to Thursday at 7:30pm
(send to school) – (to R:Monday at 7:30am during Holidays,
Spring & Summer Breaks)

R – Daytime 11am to 11pm Work Schedule – 2 Weeks
Week 11-12 Works: Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat, Sun, Wed, Thurs
A: Picks up on Monday at 3:30pm (after school) –
(on Monday at
7:30am during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)
to
Wednesday at 8:30 (Send to school) –
(to Wednesday at
80am during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)

R: Picks up on Wednesday at 3:30pm (after school) –
(on
Wednesday at 8:00am during Holidays, Spring & Summer
Breaks)
to Thursday at 3:30pm (after school) – (to
Thursday at 7:30pm during Holidays, Spring & Summer
Breaks)

A: Picks up on Thursday at 3:30pm (after school) –
(on Thursday
at 7:30pm during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)
to
Monday at 8:30am (send to school) –
(to Monday at 8:00am
during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)

R: Picks up on Monday at 8:30am –
(on Monday at 8:00am
during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)
to Wednesday
at 3:30pm (after school) –
(to Wednesday at 7:30am
during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)

A: Picks up on Wednesday at 3:30pm (after school) –
(on
Wednesday at 7:30am during Holidays, Spring & Summer
Breaks)
to Friday at 8:30am (send to school) – (to Friday at
7:30am during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)

R: Picks up on Friday at 3:30pm (after school) – (on Friday at
7:30am during Holliday, Spring & Summer Breaks) to
Sunday at 8:00pm
R – Daytime 7am to 7pm Work Schedule – 2 Weeks
Week 13-14 Works: Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat, Sun, Wed, Thurs
Rick: Picks up on Sunday at 8:00 pm to Tuesday at 7:30 pm
R: Picks up on Tuesday at 7:30pm to Thursday at 7:30pm
A: Picks up on Thursday at 7:30pm to Sunday at 8:00pm
R: Picks up on Sunday at 8:00pm to Tuesday at 7:30pm
A: Picks up on Tuesday at 7:30pm to Thursday at 7:30pm
R: Picks up on Thursday at 7:30pm to Monday 8:30am (bring
to school)
– (to Monday at 5:30pm during Holidays,
Spring & Summer Breaks)

R – Nighttime 7pm to 7am Work Schedule – 2 Weeks
Week 15-16 Works: Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat, Sun, Wed, Thurs
A: Picks up on Monday at 3:30pm (after school) – (
on Monday at
5:30pm during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)
to
Wednesday at 3:30pm (after school)
– (to Wednesday at
8:00am during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)

R: Picks up on Wednesday at 3:30pm (after school) – (
on
Wednesday at 8:00am during Holidays, Spring & Summer
Breaks)
to Friday 3:30pm (after school) – (to Friday at
5:30pm during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)

A: Picks up on Friday at 3:30pm (after school) –
(on Friday at
5:30pm during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)
to Monday
at 3:30pm (after school)
– (to Monday at 8:00am during
Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)

R: Picks up on Monday at 3:30pm (after school) – (on
Monday at 8:00am during Holidays, Spring & Summer
Breaks) to Wednesday at 3:30pm (after school) –
(to
Wednesday at 5:30pm during Holidays, Spring & Summer
Breaks)

A: Picks up on Wednesday at 3:30pm (after school) –
(on
Wednesday at 5:30pm during Holidays, Spring & Summer
Breaks)
to Friday at 3:30pm (after school) – (on Friday at
8:00am during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks)

R: Picks up on Friday at 3:30pm (after school) – (on Friday at
8:00am during Holidays, Spring & Summer Breaks) to
Sunday at 8:00pm
REPEAT

  #5  
Old 10-07-2010, 10:52 PM
ConcernenedStepMom78 ConcernenedStepMom78 is offline
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Could any of you or your children endur this at 100 km distance? ....NOw You know and understand the truth of our situatin....Side noe when thsischedule was made the respndent was in town AND worked cclose...this is no longer the case
  #6  
Old 10-07-2010, 10:54 PM
ConcernenedStepMom78 ConcernenedStepMom78 is offline
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My typing is horrible sorry
  #7  
Old 10-07-2010, 10:55 PM
ConcernenedStepMom78 ConcernenedStepMom78 is offline
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This is what the courts say to stick with at 100 km distance
  #8  
Old 10-07-2010, 10:59 PM
ConcernenedStepMom78 ConcernenedStepMom78 is offline
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1 year in litigation over this and NOTHING done....
  #9  
Old 10-07-2010, 11:00 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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LOL, My view is biased on access travel. I travel approximately 70,000 km a year for my children now and on my 6th vehicle in 6 years... Not that it is important. What I can say is, At the end of the day both my children have come to know each of their parent's in their own environment.
  #10  
Old 10-07-2010, 11:10 PM
ConcernenedStepMom78 ConcernenedStepMom78 is offline
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We dont know what is right or wrong anymore...Logicall I commend you , but by your statndards my ex is 264 km away and reasonably I sould have him drive my kids 3 hours after school every day and I should drive them back to school 3 hours every morning...plus border time because thaey are in the USA, because this is in teie best interests?
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