Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Extended Access Requested

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Extended Access Requested

    Ex has asked to extend one of his access weekends. Last week of school the Friday is always a PD day. I have no issues with this extra time. However I do have issue with it if Dad is not off work. How can I make him prove he is off work. SA specifically says his access is to fall on weekends he is not working. He works Fridays. He did say to answer him by this Thursday so he could make accommodations. Would you interpret that as taking the day off work?

    He asked for this time back in March and I agreed it was fine if he can prove he is off work. I never heard again about it until last night.

    He has breached this term a few times now and I have not made an issue of it however the kids were not happy as they thought the extra time was going to be with dad. He worked on his march break access. Leaving them with gf. And then on a regular access weekend he left them overnight at their grandmas ( not concerned about that as it’s their grandma).
    I don’t want to say the wrong thing. Extra access is fine when dad is actually with them. It’s good for the kids. They do not want to be left with gf all day when they could be with mom or their cousins.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  • #2
    Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
    Ex has asked to extend one of his access weekends. Last week of school the Friday is always a PD day. I have no issues with this extra time. However I do have issue with it if Dad is not off work.

    Why do you have an issue? He might finish work early... or have some other plan.


    How can I make him prove he is off work.
    However you want. You are providing an indulgence. Say "prove it in a way that makes me happy". If he doesn't, then don't provide the indulgence.


    To be clear, I don't see the issue with him working on the Friday, but you have an issue with it. It is of course trivial to make any demands that you want, since you have complete power over the situation. You can say that he needs to send you a photo of himself covered in cooked noodles if it makes you happy.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Janus View Post
      You can say that he needs to send you a photo of himself covered in cooked noodles if it makes you happy.



      LMAO Too funny!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Janus View Post
        Why do you have an issue? He might finish work early... or have some other plan.



        However you want. You are providing an indulgence. Say "prove it in a way that makes me happy". If he doesn't, then don't provide the indulgence.


        To be clear, I don't see the issue with him working on the Friday, but you have an issue with it. It is of course trivial to make any demands that you want, since you have complete power over the situation. You can say that he needs to send you a photo of himself covered in cooked noodles if it makes you happy.


        What is the point of extra access starting at 8 am the Friday morning if he will be at work? The kids want one on one time with dad. Not with gf while he is at work.


        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
          What is the point of extra access starting at 8 am the Friday morning if he will be at work? The kids want one on one time with dad. Not with gf while he is at work.


          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



          So you spend every second with them during your parenting time? I guarantee you dont, neither should that expectation be expected of him. Its unrealistic and bloody absurd!

          Comment


          • #6
            The challenge with this situation is your ex was not even remotely flexible last weekend when asked to pick the kids up elsewhere so they could swim and have some fun. He expects you to be reasonable and accommodating when he refuses to do the same. Thats the real issue not all this other noise.

            Your question should be “is it unreasonable for me to accommodate my ex with switching time when he refuses to do so when it benefits the kids? In his request there is no benefit as he will not be spending his time with them when if they dont go to him, they will be with their grandmother and cousins.”

            You need to get past him asking for things when his gf is doing it or his gf asking for things or ulterior motives etc.

            Think black and white: the kids could spend the day swimming and visiting with their grandparents/cousins or the kids could spend the day with their dad who may or may not be working for part of it.

            Perhaps there is another day you know he has off that you could switch?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
              The challenge with this situation is your ex was not even remotely flexible last weekend when asked to pick the kids up elsewhere so they could swim and have some fun. He expects you to be reasonable and accommodating when he refuses to do the same. Thats the real issue not all this other noise.

              Your question should be “is it unreasonable for me to accommodate my ex with switching time when he refuses to do so when it benefits the kids? In his request there is no benefit as he will not be spending his time with them when if they dont go to him, they will be with their grandmother and cousins.”

              You need to get past him asking for things when his gf is doing it or his gf asking for things or ulterior motives etc.

              Think black and white: the kids could spend the day swimming and visiting with their grandparents/cousins or the kids could spend the day with their dad who may or may not be working for part of it.

              Perhaps there is another day you know he has off that you could switch?


              I agree... except he refuses to share when he is off work. I have offered extra time on Sundays on my weekends several times. When his work is not open. The offer goes ignored.

              Thanks Rockscan.


              Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

              Comment


              • #8
                If you do give up one of your parenting days for Dad's its up to him how they spend their day, I dont think you can ask for "conditions". I would give him the extra time. Your heading to court and you don't want to give him any ammunition that your not flexible and accommodating. I would also be keeping track of the extra Sundays you offer that goes unanswered.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by cashcow4ex View Post
                  So you spend every second with them during your parenting time? I guarantee you dont, neither should that expectation be expected of him. Its unrealistic and bloody absurd!


                  Actually I do. Except for maybe an hour after school. I do not make plans when I have our children. I spend my parenting time being a parent. Running our kids to appointments and their sports and school activities. Spending whatever time I have With then. I make plans for myself when they are with their father. Since dad only sees them EOW. One would think he would want to spend any little time he has with his children.


                  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by kate331 View Post
                    If you do give up one of your parenting days for Dad's its up to him how they spend their day, I dont think you can ask for "conditions". I would give him the extra time. Your heading to court and you don't want to give him any ammunition that your not flexible and accommodating. I would also be keeping track of the extra Sundays you offer that goes unanswered.


                    I agree. But the SA says he is not to work working when he had access.


                    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
                      I agree... except he refuses to share when he is off work. I have offered extra time on Sundays on my weekends several times. When his work is not open. The offer goes ignored.

                      Then just say no to his request.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
                        ...

                        He asked for this time back in March and I agreed it was fine if he can prove he is off work. I never heard again about it until last night...

                        3 months later, and the question of a yes/no, extra time on a Friday, is still an issue? Yes or no question. Be done with it, either way.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Give the time or not. No conditions.

                          Comment

                          Our Divorce Forums
                          Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                          Working...
                          X