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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 04-19-2011, 12:03 AM
tlwa tlwa is offline
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Default This is Killing Me

I'm sure this must be just a tactic to provoke a response from me or maybe to scare me into agreeing to something although less ridiculess but still unfair.

Here is the situation. Me and Ex were married 17 yrs and have been separated for the last 3 yrs. We did not assume traditional roles from the start she worked and later had her own business and I serve in the military. We have one mutual son 17 and we have 50/50 split custody. by his choice and is more like 70/30 in reality with me. I am currently paying CS to her and really have no isue with the full table amount of $703. I deployed to Afghanistan (for the third time) shortly after our separation. She remained in the house and recieved my full pay while I was away and the 600 dollars rent my father was paying for the basement apt. After my return in 2009. the business that was almost failing when i left was in very dire straights and we had no choice but to sell it off (very much against her wishes. out of the money she recieved 18,000 and I took 5,000 to pay debt. I continued to pay business debt that she acumulated from her poor business doings. I was also contributing anywher from 15,000 to 25,000 a yr to her business out of money that should have gone to the family. While i was away on a course I came home to find that the hydro had not been paid for months on our matrimonial home and that she had moved out along with all of our possesions. She move in with her boyfriend as of May of last year. She is calling him just a friend on her court docs. I have since moved into the mat home since i have been paying the morgage since our separation while she lived in the house. But the biggest kicker is now that the business is gone and she has no income she is claiming she is to stressed out to work in her Esthetics proffession and is looking for SS of $2079 a month. This with the CS will have her getting close to 2/3 my take home pay and will definately drive me into Backrupcy.

I can't believe that the court would force me into backruptcy for debts that were acumulated for her failed business so that she can she can get her SS.

She has submitted an afidavit to have a decission by 13 May on SS and if she gets it in the interm starting 15 may like she is asking for. I will have no choice but to file for bankruptcy
  #2  
Old 04-19-2011, 08:44 AM
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karmaseeker karmaseeker is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tlwa View Post
We have one mutual son 17 and we have 50/50 split custody. by his choice and is more like 70/30 in reality with me. I am currently paying CS to her and really have no isue with the full table amount of $703.
Why are you paying her child support at full table amount when you have a 50/50 or even a 70/30 split. If you are 50/50 you should be paying only a portion depending on both incomes, I believe. If you are 70/30 - she should be paying you!

Quote:
I deployed to Afghanistan (for the third time) shortly after our separation. She remained in the house and recieved my full pay while I was away and the 600 dollars rent my father was paying for the basement apt. After my return in 2009. the business that was almost failing when i left was in very dire straights and we had no choice but to sell it off (very much against her wishes. out of the money she recieved 18,000 and I took 5,000 to pay debt. I continued to pay business debt that she acumulated from her poor business doings. I was also contributing anywher from 15,000 to 25,000 a yr to her business out of money that should have gone to the family. While i was away on a course I came home to find that the hydro had not been paid for months on our matrimonial home and that she had moved out along with all of our possesions. She move in with her boyfriend as of May of last year. She is calling him just a friend on her court docs. I have since moved into the mat home since i have been paying the morgage since our separation while she lived in the house. But the biggest kicker is now that the business is gone and she has no income she is claiming she is to stressed out to work in her Esthetics proffession and is looking for SS of $2079 a month. This with the CS will have her getting close to 2/3 my take home pay and will definately drive me into Backrupcy.

I can't believe that the court would force me into backruptcy for debts that were acumulated for her failed business so that she can she can get her SS.

She has submitted an afidavit to have a decission by 13 May on SS and if she gets it in the interm starting 15 may like she is asking for. I will have no choice but to file for bankruptcy
You need a lawyer.

She is responsible for 50% of the debts and assets - you will both have to do a financial disclosure.

You may have to pay her SS but she may have to pay you CS.

You need to stop assuming she is telling you the truth - she proved herself to be a liar and a cheat - now get a lawyer and protect yourself.

Best of luck.
  #3  
Old 04-19-2011, 08:54 AM
Mess Mess is offline
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You shouldn't have been paying for HER business, paying off HER debts and letting HER live rent free in the mat home while YOU paid all expenses for YEARS. By doing so you box yourself into a corner.

From a personal standpoint she has never grown up and taken responsibility for her own life. You weren't doing her any favours, you were enabling her.

From a legal standpoint she can claim that she is unable to support herself, you have been supporting her since separation and therefore this has been your agreement to her entitlement.

You should not have been paying full child support for similar reasons.

Essentially she has been exploiting you and suddenly you want to fix that but she will point to a status quo of your agreement through payments.

I agree you owe her nothing and she should be paying you child support based on your 70/30 custody. If she claims no income then she should be imputed a full-time minimum wage. She is being supported by the bf/friend in the same manner she was supported by you, so she has no need or entitlement to spousal support.

She is incapable of sustaining a business due to lack of competence. You can't claim she can run a business but she can certainly work at Tim Hortons.

When you separate you MUST disentangle yourself from your ex's debts and business immediately, thoroughly and permanently. That's why it's called "separation". It doesn't just mean you don't have sex anymore. I'm sounding harsh but you are setting yourself up for a bigger fight than you needed to have.

See a lawyer. Stop paying her debts and other expenses. Stop paying child support. Calculate the child support she should have paid you for the last years and any and all money you paid out in support of her, document it, collect statements and cancelled cheques. She will try to take you to the cleaners, it's not like she hasn't shown this already. You will total the amount you paid out, call that the equalization amount, and tell her to get lost.
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Old 04-19-2011, 10:32 AM
staysingle staysingle is offline
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Have you talked with a lawyer yet?
Can you afford to speak with a lawyer?
You NEED to disentangle yourself completely from this liar ex wife of yours. I suggest a) cancel all credit cards you have and create new ones b) Cancel all bank accounts and start new ones at a different bank.c) STOP PAYING HER ANYTHING until your organized and under the wing of a lawyer. It is not too late to protect yourself. Start by making good decisions NOW! d) Start putting CASH away in a shoebox DO NOT leave excess cash laying around in a bank account. It appears you need to come up to speed very quickly on matters at hand. Make sure you start saving and protecting some money to defend yourself.

GOO LUCK
  #5  
Old 04-19-2011, 10:30 PM
tlwa tlwa is offline
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Thanks to all of you for the somewhat harsh but needed kick in the pants. I have read alot of helpfull posts on here and talked with a lawyer today. I think I now have a solid game plan to proceed with my deffence and attack. I guess the old sayings stands, Nice Guys Finish Last. Well this nice guy well has dried up. Time to put on the war face. I will keep you posted as things develop. Again thanks for the kick
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