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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #41  
Old 10-17-2017, 01:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Honestly, I just want the men to go for it in court, because generally they get shot down and it creates more case law against unnecessary SS.

Eventually, women will stop getting unnecessary SS, or men will start getting SS making some pissed off women who will effectively rally to stop unnecessary SS. Either way, justice wins!
Interesting position. I can't say I disagree with your position.
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  #42  
Old 10-17-2017, 03:47 PM
jays2017 jays2017 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
short answer....yes

You both need to do a financial statement.
really not fair for my wife if we have to split her rrsps and savings...as i basically have nothing from savings as most of the money i had was to pay off quickly the mortgage with her...i know she has lots of savings and rrsp..and to have that possibly split in two..i dont think she will like that...but on the other hand i have a pension through work..so she can go after that...through my work we have the employee assistance program and just got off with a law person who asks about my situation and mentions have good chance for sposal support but that was just a 10 minute chat on the phone ..thant law person than refers you to another lawyer which i will meet tomorrow for 30 minutes face to face ,,what things should i bring up on my 30 minute constulation...i am greatful to have found this site as the people on here have been very greatful...
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  #43  
Old 10-17-2017, 04:37 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Again, any assets accumulated during the marriage will be considered joint and split. This includes the house which you helped pay off and the savings, rrsps and pensions. You will need to go about getting information on your pension.

Dont go in there telling the lawyer you WANT ss, go in asking how you go about the process and what the best and worst case scenarios are.

Going through a congenial divorce where you can actually agree on things will save you money. You could also try mediation before court action which will also save you money.

Remember that any money you would have walked away with will be eaten up by your legal fees. Difficult divorces and custody disputes START at about 15-25 grand. You could be looking at paying a lawyer in the range of 30 if you want to be difficult and go after what you think you deserve versus what you actually deserve.
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  #44  
Old 10-17-2017, 05:59 PM
Beachnana Beachnana is offline
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Life could be so easy if you just sat down as 2 educated adults and worked out a plan. Sell,the big family home both purchase equitable properties in the same school zone. Agree to a 1 week on/off schedule. Calculate the offset child support and split all,the benefits.

Sort out your personal possessions and the household furniture and move on. FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN

Work out your current pension value vs the income that could be garnished from your wifes RRSPs and create an equalized plan.

OH and take the $30-40k you will waste in court each as a down payment on your new homes.

OR

YOU CAN GO TO COURT, WITH LAWYERS firing on full pistol and waste 40K each and your kids suffer.

Honestly no one wi s when you are fighting through lawyers for stuff. You can purchase more stuff, save more money and learn to live within your means. But you can never give back to your child the sense of security they feel when parent s are working things out in their best interest.

You dont want to drag your children through this.

Last edited by Beachnana; 10-17-2017 at 06:03 PM.
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  #45  
Old 10-17-2017, 08:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
So lets see if I understand this. If a female gets SS then she is a leech etc. When a man wants it, its okay with the same people who disagree with a female getting it.
Except for it's the other way around. When a man wants SS, he doesn't get it. The same set of facts reversed, the women get's SS. So yes, the women is a leech because she knows she will get it, like a leech.

I think it has something to do with the bias of the system.
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  #46  
Old 10-17-2017, 08:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Except for it's the other way around. When a man wants SS, he doesn't get it. The same set of facts reversed, the women get's SS. So yes, the women is a leech because she knows she will get it, like a leech.

I think it has something to do with the bias of the system.
The reason I used the word gets and wants was to reflect the fact the man in this case wants it but hasnt got it yet.

Some posters attack women on this site for even mentioning about applying for SS.

So if the man in this case gets SS then according to you he is a leech?
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  #47  
Old 10-17-2017, 08:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
The reason I used the word gets and wants was to reflect the fact the man in this case wants it but hasnt got it yet.

Some posters attack women on this site for even mentioning about applying for SS.

So if the man in this case gets SS then according to you he is a leech?
No. If the man in this case gets SS then he is a lucky bastard.
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  #48  
Old 10-17-2017, 09:59 PM
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^yep that kind of says it all - 'tarded response from a biased poster.

I just hope the poster does his math and gets quotes from lawyers he is visiting. I know that the lawyer will, first of all, have the poster fill out a financial statement (lawyer wants to know how much "is in the file" and how much he can stand to make off of the fellow). The next step is to tell the client what he wants to hear. Poster has to have the smarts to ask the lawyer what lawyer is basing his numbers on (SSAG or Divorcemate or whatever software the lawyer uses). The poster has to have the self-control to go home and look things up himself. Poster should figure out if the amount he will be spending on lawyer (we all know this can go on for years) is going to be worth it in the end. No lawyer can "guarantee" anything to a client. If he is speaking with competent counsel the lawyer will bring up and stress "offers to settle" but also tell the client how much money it will cost for these. Poster should also ask the lawyer how many expensive "4-way meetings" (which I think are a total waste of time) the lawyer proposes and ask the lawyer how much each 4-way meeting costs. If the lawyer isn't prepared to offer up financial information to satisfy the poster's questions then hopefully the poster will book an appointment to meet with another lawyer.

It is irrelevant whether the poster is male or female. Lawyers fees don't discriminate. My advice is the same regardless of whether female or male.
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  #49  
Old 10-18-2017, 08:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jays2017 View Post
really not fair for my wife if we have to split her rrsps and savings...as i basically have nothing from savings as most of the money i had was to pay off quickly the mortgage with her...i know she has lots of savings and rrsp..and to have that possibly split in two..i dont think she will like that...but on the other hand i have a pension through work..so she can go after that...through my work we have the employee assistance program and just got off with a law person who asks about my situation and mentions have good chance for sposal support but that was just a 10 minute chat on the phone ..thant law person than refers you to another lawyer which i will meet tomorrow for 30 minutes face to face ,,what things should i bring up on my 30 minute constulation...i am greatful to have found this site as the people on here have been very greatful...


What's not fair about it? Is she the one telling you it's unfair? Don't take her word for it.

You were married for 12 years. You were legally one financial entity. During that time, she increased her RRSPs and savings, and you paid down the mortgage and earned a pension.

Therefore, you evenly divide the increase in her RRSPs, the increase in your pension, the increase in the value of the home, and the increase in all your bank accounts no matter whose name is on them. It's quite fair, and while she may not like it, she would not have much success contesting it.

The division process could take various forms though. Maybe your pension and her RRSPs increased by approximately the same amount and you'll call it a wash. Maybe you'll sell the home and split the proceeds, or maybe she'll qualify for a new mortgage and buy you out.. Maybe you'll keep the paid off home and give her half your pension but let her keep all her RRSPs and savings. It's all negotiable, as long as you both exit the marriage with the same increase in net worth.

You just need to get full financial disclosure and do a bunch of math.

As for spousal, you still need to answer Janus' questions before we can give you good advice on that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Some questions

1) Did you ever stay home for a period of time to watch the kids?
2)Did you ever relocate for your wife's job?
3) Did you ever turn down a promotion due to child care duties?
4) Did you make any job decisions based upon your wife's comfortable income?

If you can answer yes to at least one question, you should pursue SS.
My initial reaction without any yeses to that though, is no, you are not entitled. You have a solid income of $60k, which is plenty for an adult to support themselves on, and you'll be walking away with quite a bit of equalization from the sounds of it.

You should have 30m consultations with several lawyers so you can find one who is a good fit for you. Don't fall for the first one who tells you what you want to hear "of course you should fight for SS!" because many lawyers will see that $475k asset of yours and want the fight to last as long as possible no matter how unreasonable your position, so they can bill you more.

I know we've had posts here about how to interview lawyers. Use the search function to track them down.

Last edited by Rioe; 10-18-2017 at 08:28 AM. Reason: keep getting an error while trying to post - aha, it didn't like a colon in my Janus quote
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  #50  
Old 10-18-2017, 08:46 AM
1ati2de 1ati2de is offline
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LMAO! This is a joke no matter how you look at it or who is entitled to SS. Not about the children, anyones well being, assistance to get over the relationship , or anything feasible. Who can screw over who for how much and for how long. Want to fix it? Eliminate it completely, problem solved!
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