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  • Well, SC coming up on Monday. Yikes. Final meeting with lawyer on Wed morning to sign the brief.

    Here's wishful thinking that ex will agree to 50/50. I do not believe that will be the case though. Especially after reading all the other threads of mother's not wanting 50/50.

    She's a paralegal. Why not pursue her career? 50/50 would allow that. Instead I think she will say she needs to remain at home and that my job will hinder my 50/50 flexibility. Which it will not with my parenting plan.

    BTW .. just accepted a full time offer with school board. Finally full time hours, summers off, holidays off. I can still work on call for the group homes or extra income. Best part .. excellent benefits. If D3 needs braces? No problem.
    Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-24-2014, 06:04 PM.

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    • Congrats on the new job!

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      • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
        Yes. This is precisely what my lawyer has suggested.

        She said NOT to simply register her and send an e-mail saying she's registered. That would make me look like a jerk.

        But to send an e-mail with schools in my area which offer, for instance, half day French immersion.

        I feel that D3 would benefit from junior kindergarten commencing next Sept. Ex, however, believes D3 should wait another 2 years before attending school. D3 loves being around other kids, has no attachment issues and would benefit greatly from the social/academic experience of junior kindergarten.
        For JK and SK, you would simply choose the school that is your catchment area or hers. There isn't a "list of schools to choose from". It is public or catholic and each school board has definitive boundaries. That's it. I am sure you know this as you work for the school board.

        If you want to send your child to a school outside of your or ex's catchment area, you need a good reason and have to apply for permission. Additionally even if you qualify for an out of bounds school, you will be responsible for all transportation for the duration of your child's attendance.

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        • Originally posted by SadAndTired View Post
          For JK and SK, you would simply choose the school that is your catchment area or hers. There isn't a "list of schools to choose from". It is public or catholic and each school board has definitive boundaries. That's it. I am sure you know this as you work for the school board.

          If you want to send your child to a school outside of your or ex's catchment area, you need a good reason and have to apply for permission. Additionally even if you qualify for an out of bounds school, you will be responsible for all transportation for the duration of your child's attendance.
          Too bad nobody knows what her catchment area is since she won't disclose her access.

          Also, since custody has not yet been ruled on, why would you presume that it is about the ex's catchment area, and not LF32s?

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          • Originally posted by Straittohell View Post
            Too bad nobody knows what her catchment area is since she won't disclose her access.

            Also, since custody has not yet been ruled on, why would you presume that it is about the ex's catchment area, and not LF32s?
            Lol Exactly. Wow is all I have to say. Typical. I'm desensitized to it now. :-)

            I have her on "ignore" Strait. Try not to quote her or I'm forced to read it.
            Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-24-2014, 07:12 PM.

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            • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
              Well, SC coming up on Monday. Yikes. Final meeting with lawyer on Wed morning to sign the brief.

              Here's wishful thinking that ex will agree to 50/50. I do not believe that will be the case though. Especially after reading all the other threads of mother's not wanting 50/50.

              She's a paralegal. Why not pursue her career? 50/50 would allow that. Instead I think she will say she needs to remain at home and that my job will hinder my 50/50 flexibility. Which it will not with my parenting plan.

              BTW .. just accepted a full time offer with school board. Finally full time hours, summers off, holidays off. I can still work on call for the group homes or extra income. Best part .. excellent benefits. If D3 needs braces? No problem.
              Congratulations on the secure new job. Many of us with 50/50 work full-time (or more than full-time) jobs, with no ill effects on the kids. It's a lot of juggling and sometimes stress, but it can be done.

              It's completely up to your ex whether she wants to pursue a full-time job or not, but it's got no relevance to whether 50/50 is viable. But of course you know that already.

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              • Originally posted by stripes View Post
                Congratulations on the secure new job. Many of us with 50/50 work full-time (or more than full-time) jobs, with no ill effects on the kids. It's a lot of juggling and sometimes stress, but it can be done.

                It's completely up to your ex whether she wants to pursue a full-time job or not, but it's got no relevance to whether 50/50 is viable. But of course you know that already.
                Very true Stripes...thanks. A big part of ex's argument is that she has more time than me for D3 since she doesn't work. She said my mom would be the one raising her in her affidavits. So I hope your previous post rings true for my case.

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                • Originally posted by Straittohell View Post
                  Too bad nobody knows what her catchment area is since she won't disclose her access.

                  Also, since custody has not yet been ruled on, why would you presume that it is about the ex's catchment area, and not LF32s?
                  Go back and read my post again. In each instance I said LF OR his ex. I never specified just his ex. That's your own assumption. Read it again.

                  And my point still stands. The only thing LF has to argue about is whether it's his area or hers. A "list of schools" isn't relevant and a waste of legal money and time.

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                  • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                    Very true Stripes...thanks. A big part of ex's argument is that she has more time than me for D3 since she doesn't work. She said my mom would be the one raising her in her affidavits. So I hope your previous post rings true for my case.
                    It's also debatable whether having a full-time non-working parent is automatically the best thing for a child. I've seen a lot of stay-home parents become way too overinvested in/enmeshed with their kids, because that's all they have. There's also something to be said for the role modelling provided by adults who are autonomous, independent, active in their professions, and have something in their lives beyond just being Mom (or Dad).

                    This helps to set kids' own expectations and aspirations for when they grow up - I'm going to go to work, I'm going to be a [whatever profession], etc. There shouldn't be any presumption that an unemployed parent is more of a "real" parent than on who works full time.

                    Anyway, this is a bit off topic - one of my minor hobby-horses.

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                    • "I registered D3 in my neighbourhood because after numerous requests the other parent has not disclosed their address or school district."

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                      • English vs French school board is also a choice. In my town, the French school board offers free bussing because their catchment area is quite large. That might make your choice easier, if you can arrange bussing from both houses (once you feel d4 is ready for that).

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                        • Originally posted by stripes View Post
                          It's also debatable whether having a full-time non-working parent is automatically the best thing for a child. I've seen a lot of stay-home parents become way too overinvested in/enmeshed with their kids, because that's all they have. There's also something to be said for the role modelling provided by adults who are autonomous, independent, active in their professions, and have something in their lives beyond just being Mom (or Dad).

                          This helps to set kids' own expectations and aspirations for when they grow up - I'm going to go to work, I'm going to be a [whatever profession], etc. There shouldn't be any presumption that an unemployed parent is more of a "real" parent than on who works full time.

                          Anyway, this is a bit off topic - one of my minor hobby-horses.
                          I wish this mattered in court but I have a feeling in a few months I am going to find myself in a judge with my ex-wife claiming her unemployment makes her more available than my 9-5 job and I'm scared to hear a judge say - "In the best interests of the children the mother has more availabilty...." This already partially happened.... so we'll see which way it goes.

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                          • While I agree that it's a person's choice whether or not to work, when it becomes a legal tactic for custody then it becomes an issue. My ex has in her affidavit: "I will be staying home for the next 2 years. I will not be placing D3 in school for the next 2 years. D3 has an attachment issue and can only be away from me for spurts at a time.

                            (Note: D3 has never asked about her mom .. nor to even call her on any visit).

                            My point is .. she has a degree. She can get off welfare and get a job if she chooses. But why would she? Then no LAO. Then no Welfare. Less CS. Less chance of 50/50 (IMO). All Im saying is why use every financial assistance program in Ontario when she doesn't have to? Court tactics.

                            My lawyer says the same thing as Stripes. "Judges are cognizant that parents work". Guess Im just nervous a judge will say what Links just said above.

                            Paris:
                            Lawyer tells me not to just register D3 without mothers knowledge. That I'll look like a jerk.

                            Dinky:
                            Catholic school board offers a great French immersion (half day eng/half French) and catchment area is large.

                            I'm very nervous to see what will happen next Monday at SC.
                            Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-24-2014, 08:40 PM.

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                            • why do you think that her having a job gives her less of a chance for 50/50?

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                              • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                                Lol Exactly. Wow is all I have to say. Typical. I'm desensitized to it now. :-)

                                I have her on "ignore" Strait. Try not to quote her or I'm forced to read it.
                                LOL my apologies.

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