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Police called - what rights does my son have?

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  • #91
    Originally posted by rockscan View Post
    Ignore my bitterness about our situation. Ive grown tired of the "well theyre teens I cant force them" argument. Yes you can. You are the parent and how you feel about your ex shouldnt be put on your child. She is still his mother and she has rights too.
    I'd like to restate - No one is trying to step on the mom's rights. Rather stand up for her son's rights to spend 1 or 2 when needed extra nights over at his Dad's. When my son returned home the last time he spent extra time with Dad, he was nagged for hours until he had to go to bed. My son said: "Mom took away my entire night" To me that's emotional/mental abuse. But not something you can call CAS about. The courts can't do anything about it. So yes we are using his new status as a 14/15 yr old to fix that situation. He will stay over more if that BS continues. Your precious sentiments about the value of court orders are naive and disingenuous. If they work great. When not its a tragedy.

    Originally posted by Straittohell View Post
    So, in other words, this is pretty much what HammerDad and I have said at the very beginning:

    -Comply with the agreement/order for the moment, even if your 14 year doesn't want to go back to mom's house.
    -Seek a change to the order, since the judge will heavily weight what the 14 year old says.
    -At the age of 16, they can pick regardless, so all of this posturing and maneuvering and hand-wringing over the matter will be rendered pointless in 1.5 years.

    Either way, you need to be the adult and have junior follow the schedule until you either change it in the mid-term (court), or his own decision making power kicks in at 16 (his own choice).

    Case closed.
    No you have been saying the opposite. Not to support the child's decision, kick them back to the OP and take it to court. The point was that a judge will not enforce an order when he knows it's against a 14 yr old's wishes. So why go to court in the first place? You have been advising to kick junior out and continue the court process despite the many failings that often includes. No thanks, I'm saying and the CAS view supports it, don't sacrifice another crucial year of development in your child's life waiting for them to turn 16 and possibly be turned off of one parent for life. Do something now. That means support your 14 yr teenager's decision now. Don't kick him out unless you have a good reason. Don't waste time and money better spent on you child.

    Originally posted by arabian View Post
    I believe the original question asked on this thread was "what rights does my son have."

    The answer would be for your son to contact the OCL (children's lawyer) as your son is still a "child."

    You did not ask, but received, parenting advice. You can abide by the law or not.

    You seem to think your son is old enough to make grown-up decisions then why not let him?

    Good luck
    In our case OCL was a joke. Totally bias. Twisted my son's words. When I told her my son was pressured into saying the things he did to her (regarding schedule - mom told him no hockey if he asked for 50/50 and another threat was that she would leave the country and leave him here) The OCL agent said " Now you are attacking my clients credibility" Smooth right? I was in shock at how %$#@ up that was. I could not believe it. When I was successful in getting a social worker be allowed to do the interviewing, and my son did tell what happened and asked for 50/50, - the OCL agent said I was applying a huge amount of pressure on him! The social workers testimony would only come into it after 6 months waiting fo a full blown trial to hear all the evidence. I could not afford it in the end. You can't win folks.

    Your comment about "grown up decisions" - My point is they are not really "grown up" decisions are they? They are decisions which judges will let 12-16 yr make. If judges respect those decisions then you need to. The sad thing is how twisted things can get sometimes once you get OCL involved! But I suppose we did not have a choice when they are still young.

    You can abide by the law? What law exactly? If I was breaking the law my ex's lawyer would have me in court so fast my head would spin. So pls stop talking about the law like you understand it.

    At 14 - guess what? You and your child have some options. If you take one thing away from this thread take that away..

    Comment


    • #92
      ^well if you know it all then why bother posting. It was you who asked the original question.

      You're merely talking in circles, looking for some sort of justification for your actions.

      Your life... "each to their own..."

      Comment


      • #93
        Ontario, Your not listening or reading or thinking, just commenting without reason. Labels and the law only work if they are fair. The justice system has a long way to go, it,s better than nothing, but it needs adjustment. Your not helping anybody with ridiculous robotic advise.

        Comment


        • #94
          Originally posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
          Instead of just complaining about the system, perhaps you should focus on where you messed up and why
          lol so very true..It seems the ones who complain about the system the most are ones who didn't win in court.

          Comment


          • #95
            Originally posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
            Instead of just complaining about the system, perhaps you should focus on where you messed up and why
            Who said he messed up?

            A lot of people including judges, lawyers, people on this forum etc.... believe the system is broken so it isn't like what is being put forward here is from a small subset of disgruntled individuals.


            lol so very true..It seems the ones who complain about the system the most are ones who didn't win in court
            Losing is one thing, getting screwed unfairly is something else. I can recognize on some topics though the judge didn't decide the way I'd like I can concede but the vast majority of decisions are completely non-sensical and no fair-minded Canadian would support it, its only in the bubble of family law that these things happen.

            Comment


            • #96
              Originally posted by Harold Callahan View Post
              I'd like to restate - No one is trying to step on the mom's rights. Rather stand up for her son's rights to spend 1 or 2 when needed extra nights over at his Dad's. When my son returned home the last time he spent extra time with Dad, he was nagged for hours until he had to go to bed. My son said: "Mom took away my entire night" To me that's emotional/mental abuse. But not something you can call CAS about. The courts can't do anything about it. So yes we are using his new status as a 14/15 yr old to fix that situation. He will stay over more if that BS continues. Your precious sentiments about the value of court orders are naive and disingenuous. If they work great. When not its a tragedy.


              No you have been saying the opposite. Not to support the child's decision, kick them back to the OP and take it to court. The point was that a judge will not enforce an order when he knows it's against a 14 yr old's wishes. So why go to court in the first place? You have been advising to kick junior out and continue the court process despite the many failings that often includes. No thanks, I'm saying and the CAS view supports it, don't sacrifice another crucial year of development in your child's life waiting for them to turn 16 and possibly be turned off of one parent for life. Do something now. That means support your 14 yr teenager's decision now. Don't kick him out unless you have a good reason. Don't waste time and money better spent on you child.


              In our case OCL was a joke. Totally bias. Twisted my son's words. When I told her my son was pressured into saying the things he did to her (regarding schedule - mom told him no hockey if he asked for 50/50 and another threat was that she would leave the country and leave him here) The OCL agent said " Now you are attacking my clients credibility" Smooth right? I was in shock at how %$#@ up that was. I could not believe it. When I was successful in getting a social worker be allowed to do the interviewing, and my son did tell what happened and asked for 50/50, - the OCL agent said I was applying a huge amount of pressure on him! The social workers testimony would only come into it after 6 months waiting fo a full blown trial to hear all the evidence. I could not afford it in the end. You can't win folks.

              Your comment about "grown up decisions" - My point is they are not really "grown up" decisions are they? They are decisions which judges will let 12-16 yr make. If judges respect those decisions then you need to. The sad thing is how twisted things can get sometimes once you get OCL involved! But I suppose we did not have a choice when they are still young.

              You can abide by the law? What law exactly? If I was breaking the law my ex's lawyer would have me in court so fast my head would spin. So pls stop talking about the law like you understand it.

              At 14 - guess what? You and your child have some options. If you take one thing away from this thread take that away..
              I'm saying the opposite of what you would like me to say, but I'm certainly not saying the opposite of what I've been saying all along.

              Sorry that it's not what you want to hear. Good luck.

              Comment


              • #97
                Originally posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
                Instead of just complaining about the system, perhaps you should focus on where you messed up and why
                There you go again for the last time, use your brain. I self rept and totally was successful. My ex spent 30,000 I spend 1,000. I have tons of access and my children are very well, thank you. You assumed I messed up you assume without thought or evidence, without knowledge. I have a 21 page OCL report, all in my favour. I invoked The Hage myself and had my children returned back to Canada. On Didy. Can you comprehend this post. Did you mess up?

                Comment


                • #98
                  Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                  lol so very true..It seems the ones who complain about the system the most are ones who didn't win in court.
                  You imbarrass yourself Standing and judgmental. No knowledge, no future, You judge others without compassion. You go roll your eyes, i'll roll my money into the bank, pay for children's fun, my great home by the beach and have peace of mind my complaining to you is knowledge to others. This no lol,ing matter. Go Harrold go.

                  Comment


                  • #99
                    Originally posted by Franklin View Post
                    You imbarrass yourself Standing and judgmental. No knowledge, no future, You judge others without compassion. You go roll your eyes, i'll roll my money into the bank, pay for children's fun, my great home by the beach and have peace of mind my complaining to you is knowledge to others. This no lol,ing matter. Go Harrold go.
                    At least I know how to spell.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                      At least I know how to spell.

                      And that,s your response ! Making fun of my spell check. I hope your not in law school. As always though here,s some advice. Stay focused! Do you remember what this thread is about ?. It,s not about you or me or even Harrold and the boy. It is about something bigger than that.

                      Last night I watched Django unchained. The law back then made property out of people, that was wrong, but it was justice at the time, and yes people obeyed the law. I don,t think you will be able to see my point, but unlike you I see yours.
                      So I will try to learn from your comment and make better use of my spell check.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                        At least I know how to spell.
                        Im surprised by your behavior SOTS. Personal attacks should not be condoned here on ODF. If you disagree with a poster and are irritated perhaps you should try ignoring and not striving for the last word. (Think you gave me that advice on my threads).

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                          Im surprised by your behavior SOTS. Personal attacks should not be condoned here on ODF. If you disagree with a poster and are irritated perhaps you should try ignoring and not striving for the last word. (Think you gave me that advice on my threads).
                          have you actually read his posts?? He insults people all the time but of course you do not call him out on that as he is attacking someone that you dislike. Look at his responses to OntarioDaddy.

                          He insulted me saying that I was embarrassing myself and other comments. I guess personal attacks on someone you don't like is okay. Notice how you cannot help yourself to jump on me.

                          You didn't listen to me when you kept sending me private messages after I politely asked you to stop. Now you come on here saying I am striving for the last word?

                          Anyways enough of hijacking the posters thread. Lets try and get back on track.

                          Comment


                          • Anytime these threads evolve into personal attacks the usefulness of information sharing becomes mired in shite.

                            Original thread was "... what rights does my son have."

                            It would be refreshing to hear from a Youth Worker on this topic. Anyone out there have employment-related experience working with young people In the 12 - 16 yr age? I would love to hear your perspective on this matter.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
                              It's one thing for someone to go through the process and then have opinions on how to improve the system. That is the majority of people on this forum.

                              The people on this forum with extreme negative views, including yourself, that just want to blame the system are only trying to avoid the actual cause of the problem.

                              I've read Franklin's posts. It's not hard to see why he's so upset.

                              This thread is simply about how to properly handle a situation.

                              Hmmmm. There are more ways than one to handle this situation. Legally speaking, yes you obey the law,s of society. I understand and agree. I do as I do this daily. My point is there is very little law in family law without consequences. I know why this is, we all know why. How does society punish a family ? Heartbreaking either way.
                              My advice to this thread is not for a Judge to decide as they know not enough bout this case,and may never, how can they know for sure parents are not lying as they can not. The parents can not be trusted for obvious reasons. So what to do.

                              Harrold is in the ringer right now,and will be regardless of motions and CC. If money and time from work are not issues then use the system to protect you and yours rights. But it will not protect this young man from his mom stop the bad feelings she has for his dad and not stop the fact that the boy wants more time with his dad. Right now the law has the power to stop this boy from spending more time with dad and making more time with mom, hence the police, POLICE . Police at your door ready to arrest you because you are abusing your son, pick a way.

                              My advice is to allow the system to play itself out as that,s what happens in family law anyway.
                              Last edited by Franklin; 06-19-2015, 08:32 AM.

                              Comment


                              • This is not negativity this time , just practical advice I have been witness to for myself and others within my personal life and what I,ve found here on the forum.
                                The law,s have no problem with support payments and enforcement. That,s money. Fine take my money but do not stand in the way of me in the protection my children. Family law is evolving and it,s better than mayham and that,s positive. Right?
                                My only way to give back to family,s is encourage self reppin. That,s all I got. I have not much good to say bout family law as I can find nothing from my court proceeding that was. I,m sorry, I may have won but we all lost, I lost my family and then almost my kids, but I have rebuilt my life. My ex is going down hill. I have pride in knowing that I can still provide for my children because I self rept saved my money by playing out the system and achieved if not the same out come even a way better outcome, for only my time and stress.

                                Now in saying all that it is not all of us who can self rep, but we all have families, so that means families are suffering, children are suffering and most of it has to do with money and a system that seems to punish the honest. Seems to force the innocent to prove their innocence at all cost all in the name of error,ing in the name of caution. Well lets make the system free if that is what it,s all about. That would be justice and fairness for all of our families.

                                In the mean time Use your lawyer sparingly and allow the system to play itself out. I can,t stress this point enough. When the police show up you say yes sir when the judge says sighn you say no way.
                                Last edited by Franklin; 06-19-2015, 08:34 AM.

                                Comment

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