O.K. now I'm getting REAL SCARED!

[howdIgethere]

I've been browsing and I've seen some astronomical lawyer fees! I recentley extended the olive branch to (ex)hubby in the hope of mediation vs. lawyers. If he tell me to drop dead what chance do I have this far of picking up my file from my high faluting lawyer and carrying on myself........truth be said..court order to "pay up" my half of stolen savings not yet done (Jeff tells me I haven't waited long enough)..no spousel..not to mention child supports set........nor pension...nor r.r.s.p's............is this hopeless? I'm scared sick nothing will be left.

[Grace]

Have you considered Collabrative Law or will your ex not consider that as well? Where are you concerning child support, usually the lawyers like to settle that issue first. Usually this is done at the first Case Conference. I wouldn't suggest going it alone, Family Law can be complicated. Have you tried legal aid?

[Palden]

legal aid

have you seen this one yet?

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=259

I have spent 5,000 already and not reached any point yet. From other thread, I got the number for the divorce fee about 30,000.

The most important thing is that you have to stay well and put your mind in peace. Otherwise, it has no meaning to fight for divorce.

I am survived from gastric cancel. The stressful life caused it. Now, I don't take difficulty as a burden. No more fear no more sad. I will handle the divorce case slowly. Although I rely on bank's loan for the living now and the interest rate is raising every 2 weeks. I still keep myself calm. Hatred and angry will hurt yourself first.

[Palden]

typing error:

gastric cancer

[bearall]

jeepers Palden

you don't need any more negative stuff in your life. You must be a very strong person, If you can conquer this divorce stuff the same as your illness,I would have to say climbing Mount Everest will be a walk in the park for you next.

[Grace]

Hi Bearall,

How's everything going with you? Anything happening with your settlement?

Grace

[bearall]

Hi Grace

Thanks for the note... But by Grace and God Go I
I sent you a private message to your email !

I received a settlement proposal last week it was ludicrous...might as well have asked for the moon,my lawyer said. It still hurt lots and I told him so...because after all that has been revealed in the whole process and the scrutiny that was involved and the mountain of detail, the proposal was just a joke. I now fear there is no other resolution than to ready for a full blown hearing up to 2 weeks in length possibly. Got any idea what that will cost financially...the price tag blew me away. The mental and emotional damage sure does translate into physical pain as well. I had told duped that there is a book out called the Divorce from Hell by Wendy Dennis. They have spent $500,000.00 to date trying to undue damage and find a solution through the courts. Google it for interest sake. My kids are doing great and I continue to suck it up at all costs to shelter them from the poison of hostility and conflict. Mom just wants to move away with the new boyfriend and eliminate me from their lives entirely and is hell bent on punishment. In a way my ex is also a victim of alienation because it was done to her at the age of eight and it is the only model she knows and worst of all Gramma looks after my kids during the day even though I am available. Sorrrryyyyy...this turned into a rant, Love my little kids perhaps too much, I dunno some times...seem to be racing to the bottom even though I have taken the high road the whole time and it hasn't seemed to help. I haven't heard from Chopper, any one know how he is doing???

[Grace]

I'll check my e-mail. Thanks

I too am heading for a trial, in the Spring, my lawyer estimates the trial costs at $100,000. this would include prep time and the actual court time. Crazy!!! I do believe my ex has acted in bad faith and I will be able to recoup some costs through the courts.

I too have taken the high road, and given up a lot to my ex financially. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have found the "cut throat" lawyers instead of the "respectable ones".

For me 3 years is too long to litigate. I just want it over with.

I will Google that book, sounds like it was written for me. (and you too).

[bearall]

YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT THE TRIAL COSTS...yikes sorry for yelling
I am afraid of my ex's anger and dirty tactics, all that trial stuff and dragging freinds family and my kids through it...when you are done Can you just go for me in my place.
I am tired too, of all the shenanigans,it will be 2 years in June .
I want humbly want to be put on Hubby's intercession prayer list too !!!!

[Grace]

Before we all run off to the bank manager for loans, keep in mind that less than 2% of all divorces end up at trial. Most are settle before hand or on the court room steps.

This is what I'm hoping for.

[Aden]

wow-

Hey-
That was a bunch of inspirational writing you two just did... that 2% thing actually helped me out--- I am not going to count my chickens mind you... just that this mess is definetly getting to my head... it really is.. so yes - I applaud you both.. thnaks guys... keep it up....
Aden

[howdIgethere]

Holy Jumpin Lucifer!

Follwing down the thread I cast.oh my goodness....first place PALDEN...I'm so sorry: you are not well at all and here you offer me comfort..my love goes out to you..strength to strong lady (I bow my head in respect)

My worst fears were confirmed tonight....our small son who has always has to be the "emmesary'(?) for my husbands messages returned with a 3 inch thick documentation of "hate" liturature. So much for my "olive branch". You know I ran that e-mail I sent him before all my freinds (not that I have a lot) and everyone said."send it..try" Damn him. He never even mentioned the kids except to say it was all my fault that our family unit was being destroyed. All I asked was would he concider mediation vs. lawyers for the kids sake.

Oh Lord I am so tired ....I'm going to bed

[Palden]

Thanks, Bearall

you don't need any more negative stuff in your life. You must be a very strong person, If you can conquer this divorce stuff the same as your illness,I would have to say climbing Mount Everest will be a walk in the park for you next.

Ｈi bearall,

Thanks so much for your encouragement on 13th:

After many searches on the web site, I have more clear picture of how to file for the divorce. However, my husband is hiding money and himself outside the country. "Affidavit of Service" will be the major difficulty, so I will not spend the treasure of my life to hang on fighting for the divorce.

I am positive thinking, yes, I am walking in the park now. The game is over. I withdraw the divorce case. I am peaceful in mind.

Wish that friends in this forum can release the stress as early as possible.

[bearall]

That is pure poetry Palden...beautiful
Peace seems to be the common quest for most in this whole forum.........it is what we all eventually hope to acheive.