child support at 18

[myteam]

can my ex ask my daughter to pay room and board from her RESP's to pay me rather than pay me child support himself?
She is 18 and in school full time and living at home with me.

[blinkandimgone]

Your ex can ask for anything he wants.

However, her school expenses are considered extraordinary expenses (section 7 expenses), over and above child support.

Your post is a bit confusing though. Are you collecting CS and charging your daughter room and board?

[myteam]

Sorry!
Wrote out a detailed post and had an error message and lost it all.
My daughter started college this fall and my ex decided that CS was done. We are not with FRO so payments ended with no words exchanged.
Went to mediator and ex is of the belief that she can use our RESP funds to pay me. He doesn't see the difference between the CS and post secondary expenses. On top of that the RESP'S are in both our names.

[blinkandimgone]

Nope, CS continues through post-secondary. Expenses are typically shared in thirds between the student and the parents. Sometimes they are split just between the parents proportionate to income.

He can have a lawyer or a judge explain it to him. File for a motion to address the issue and enforce through fro if necessary, especially if he has stopped paying CS and is in arrears. Ask for costs at your motion.

[blinkandimgone]

This site offers some very good and detailed information that might help you:

Post-Secondary Education and Child Support : Ontario Family Law Blog

[myteam]

Thanks for clarifying.
I've read so many great posts on this site.
Awesome support system!

[Links17]

Hold on a sec - who contributed to the RESP?

[myteam]

We both did and it's in both our names.

[Links17]

Theoretically he might be able to argue that the capital he put in can be used as "child support/special expenses" while the amounts received by virtue of being an RESP are considered "the child's contribution"...

[myteam]

I could see that making sense if there was a very large sum of money. When I do the calculations, considering that we are responsible for two-thirds of her expenses, his portion of the RESP is already used up as his share is 77 percent.
From what I have read, we share the costs by a third for all of us.
Our RESP plan hands over the full capital amount on the first year payment. I do not see why he would want to expense it all immediately.
The other concern I have is that she is a special needs child with cerebral palsy(very mild). She has opted to stay at home for a few more years as the idea of going away to school is too overwhelming yet. She is more than prepared academically to go to university but seeing our town does not have one, she is working on a two year program at our local college.
Would she be entitled to help for both a diploma and degree. Would her special needs be taken into consideration. It may be many years before she leaves home and I could certainly see her commuting to university rather than moving away. How long could child support be requested.
It really is never that simple. I know if we were still a family unit, she would be offered our full support and her needs would be accommodated.
I do not want to see her end up with a huge debt because of her inability to leave home right away.
I am trying to see this issue from all angles so any input is appreciated.

[rockscan]

child support at 18

If she has a minor disability that adds to it because shes technically not able to live on her own yet. Read the definitions of "child of the marriage". Just because shes 18 doesnt mean shes able to support herself so CS Is still applicable. Do you have a signed separation agreement outlining CS? File it with FRO and then work to get the s7 expenses. Hes still responsible for CS. RESP funds are for educational expenses not CS.

Vent: what is with these parents who are all about ending CS at 18 when their kids are in school?

ETA: if you do decide to file with FRO, send him an email reminding him of his responsibility (take either the language from your agreement or the language from the child support guidelines site that details "child of the marriage") and let him know you will be filing with FRO. --just my advice to make you more reasonable--

[rockscan]

child support at 18

Also talk to the school. They should have a disability coordinator who helps special needs students with everything from accommodation to homework help to financial resources. Use every support system you can as many schools are mandated to have the staff. Ask at the student services dept. they will work mainly with your child but she can give permission to have you involved and theyll also help her with transitioning when shes ready to go to a bigger school.

(This post is just info for you to help your daughter. I know someone who works in accommodations and was told that not many students/parents know there supports for them and they end up being frustrated and dropping out of school/not even trying. Your daughter deserves every opportunity available and this is one more way.)

[DowntroddenDad]

You would have to look at your agreement carefully. Many agreements stipulate that CS ends after the first degree/diploma. I know mine does.

But I still pay full CS even though my daughter is getting most of her univeristy expenses through OSAP. There are precedents for a reduction in this kind of case, but it would be expensive to go to court.

[myteam]

Thank you so much for the feedback.
It's beyond frustrating especially when he refuses to even discuss the matter with me.
My daughter is a huge advocate for herself and we receive lots of help from OCTC. They've supplied her with a computer and have taught her some valuable life skills. I have lots of faith that this girl will be successful when the time is right for her.
I almost feel bad forcing this upon him. We have been apart for 13 years and there had been no need to use FRO. I've heard terrible stories about them as well but looks like I will have no choice.

[myteam]

How successful would I be if I went in without a lawyer?
I have a feeling that he would not even show up. He acually told me during our last mediation session that he had no intention of ever going back into a court room.