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  • #16
    Reality check.

    We are talking about small potatoes here when it comes to money.

    Does the other party to your matter have Legal Aid?

    To bring this matter to proper resolution in court would cost a lot of money. Most lawyers won't bother with the file for just this nonsense. Even if they order costs it won't be on a full basis. At most, it will be a small sum of what the actual costs are.

    I would do as Janus says... Call their bluff on going to court and /ignore them until such time they file a motion.

    Most people won't front 25,000 to get to a motion on something that will only result in a gain of 1800 a year. The return on investment is not there and a GOOD LAWYER wouldn't even take such a nonsense case.

    Comment


    • #17
      My daughter is only 10 years old..

      I have accepted that I will be required to travel multiple times over course of weekend to attend extracurricular activities.

      However my main disputes for going back to court are...

      1. I'm requesting additional access time.

      2. I dont agree with the exceeded s7 expenses for competitive cheerleading of $3500-4000 per year. Court states $95 per month for gymnastics or dance or similar activity until it goes up. Furthermore I never consented to enroll her..

      3. My order states that acess shall be suspended when working afternoons. Therefore I've lost 151hrs of suspended access to date. Ex is unwilling to acommadate my new work schedule.

      Do I have fair dispute in court or am I wasting my time and money?

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by Tayken View Post
        Reality check.

        We are talking about small potatoes here when it comes to money.

        Does the other party to your matter have Legal Aid?

        To bring this matter to proper resolution in court would cost a lot of money. Most lawyers won't bother with the file for just this nonsense. Even if they order costs it won't be on a full basis. At most, it will be a small sum of what the actual costs are.

        I would do as Janus says... Call their bluff on going to court and /ignore them until such time they file a motion.

        Most people won't front 25,000 to get to a motion on something that will only result in a gain of 1800 a year. The return on investment is not there and a GOOD LAWYER wouldn't even take such a nonsense case.
        Complete silence since my final proposal to address support/s7 expense arrears was sent to opposing counsel 3 months ago.

        1. They were calculated approx $12,000 in support/s7 arrears. (Off because of additional s7 expenses of cheerleading which exceeds $95 per month capped amount that I never consented to)I already payed $5000 and was prepared to offer additional $3200.

        2. Requested additional access time. 4 consecutive weekends after the children are done hockey and cheer. 1 additional alternating week in the summer and two consecutive weekends in September.

        My lawyer dismissed the case because he doesnt think he would be any value. I just found out my opposing counsel has dropped the case also.

        Case is in limbo!

        1. I've consented to take children to there activities despite what the court states.

        2. My ex suspends access when I work afternoons which is what's stated in the court order.

        I dont know what the logical approach at this point.

        I sent msg to my ex requesting her new lawyer contact info 2 days ago.. No response..

        Comment


        • #19
          Normally, I would say start an application asking for what you want. That's how courts work. You also become responsible for keeping the case moving forward. Nobody is going to push it for you. The courts won't push it, and your ex won't push it.

          This is also why we were suggesting that if you don't like what your ex is asking for, you just ignore her. Let her push the case forward, why panic about it yourself?

          Let us forget for a second about what your ex desires. What do you want the court to order?

          From what I understand, you want the following:

          1) Makeup time for extra-curricular activities
          2) Nothing else really

          The problems with your position are:

          1) You don't really have a material change
          2) You agreed on consent
          3) You've established a status quo against your position
          4) You will have trouble showing how your position is in your daughter's best interests.

          Do you know how much cheerleading you can buy with lawyer time? Buy the cheerleading, let somebody else buy the lawyer his new boat.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by Janus View Post
            Normally, I would say start an application asking for what you want. That's how courts work. You also become responsible for keeping the case moving forward. Nobody is going to push it for you. The courts won't push it, and your ex won't push it.

            This is also why we were suggesting that if you don't like what your ex is asking for, you just ignore her. Let her push the case forward, why panic about it yourself?

            Let us forget for a second about what your ex desires. What do you want the court to order?

            From what I understand, you want the following:

            1) Makeup time for extra-curricular activities
            2) Nothing else really

            The problems with your position are:

            1) You don't really have a material change
            2) You agreed on consent
            3) You've established a status quo against your position
            4) You will have trouble showing how your position is in your daughter's best interests.

            Do you know how much cheerleading you can buy with lawyer time? Buy the cheerleading, let somebody else buy the lawyer his new boat.
            Absolutely! Litigation is very costly and why I've fired two lawyers already. MTC response, bunch of emails sent to opposing counsel seems unproductive. Unless there is better approach? Tell my ex unless she accommodates my afternoon schedule with makeup time or alternate weekends I will resort back to the court order and only attend one activity on my access weekends.

            1. Material change would be my work schedule requires me to work 5 weekday afternoon shifts, Saturday and Sunday every 6 week. Order states that access shall be suspended when working afternoons. Ex refuses to accommodate this schedule. My argument is I have consented to travel multiple times over the course of weekend which doesn't compile with the order vs ex follows the order and suspends access.

            2. I'm sure I won't have trouble explaining to a judge how my ex continues to suspend my access when working afternoons and is no way in hell "In the best interest of the children."

            I was planning to retain a lawyer on limited scope basis to draft Form 17 case conference brief and attend DRO unrepresented.

            Comment


            • #21
              My ex continues to suspend my access when I work afternoons according to what's stated in the final order.

              I would like dispute this in court and ask for additional access time.. Do I have a good case and would a judge disagree with these issues?

              Comment


              • #22
                Are you working during that time? Is this new since the agreement?

                If you are working then she has the right as stated in the order.

                If this is new and you have availability on other days then you would have to file a motion to change.

                Your ex is not wrong on the work hours time. Your ex *may* be wrong in not allowing you make up time. If she isn’t going to allow a change and you don’t want to take the chance on court then you may have to look at the work schedule and see what you can do.

                Comment


                • #23
                  She has been uncorportive so far.. 151 hrs of suspended access to date. I will give it another try. Unless she agrees I have no choice but to go back to court..

                  What are my chances of judge accommodating my afternoon schedule and request that weekends shall be switched.

                  Btw I have another point stating that parties shall work coportively when considering requests to alter the existing or regular time sharing pattern and shall be mindful family functions or obligations.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    The other clauses are moot. If you are working then the kid stays with mom. Period. You agreed to it and its not like you are there sitting alone. Plus your child is a teen/preteen? Not going to get anywhere.

                    Fighting this is a losing battle. A judge will not enforce parenting time with a kid who is old enough to have a say. Your best bet is to try and encourage the kid to see you and stand up to mom. That really won’t go anywhere either.

                    Unfortunately you are stuck and the more you bang your head about this the harder your ex is going to push. You want to stop paying, stop. You want to stop driving kid to activities, stop. You want to see your kid more, work with them on their schedule but know you won’t be as successful as you want.

                    Parenting time in these situations with a parent who works, moved or has an odd schedule just doesn’t go anywhere and the court isn’t going to do anything except suck you dry and if you argue you are self repped, you run the risk of paying HER costs if you lose.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Sorry to clarify I'm requesting switching acces time to acommadate my work schedule if my ex unwilling your telling me its uphill battle to fight in court.

                      I dont understand how the court system is so bias.

                      I'm going against the order that requires me to travel more then once on my access weekend to attend activities. Which obviously in the best interest of the children.

                      Vs

                      Suspend access when working afternoons in accordance with the order. Not in best interest of the children. Losing battle in court

                      Wow! Where's the fairness here? So your also telling me if I went back to court to request additional access time.. it will be uphill battle?

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        But if you are at work, what is the problem? You aren’t there to spend time with the kids.

                        Your kid is in an activity they enjoy and you want them to stop going so they can be with you.

                        Almost all of the things you want are of a benefit to you. Then you complain about how you won’t win in court as it is biased.

                        You signed an agreement to sacrifice your time to work. You have a schedule that prevents you from being with the kids. You have agreed through actions to take kid to an activity they enjoy and you want to stop it. You don’t want to pay for an activity your child enjoys. Everything you say sounds more like “sorry kid, this is about me”. What time exactly are you going to switch for? Getting an additional weekend? Not traveling at the sake of kids happiness? I’m really having a hard time understanding what benefit this is for kid.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                          But if you are at work, what is the problem? You aren’t there to spend time with the kids.

                          Your kid is in an activity they enjoy and you want them to stop going so they can be with you.

                          Almost all of the things you want are of a benefit to you. Then you complain about how you won’t win in court as it is biased.

                          You signed an agreement to sacrifice your time to work. You have a schedule that prevents you from being with the kids. You have agreed through actions to take kid to an activity they enjoy and you want to stop it. You don’t want to pay for an activity your child enjoys. Everything you say sounds more like “sorry kid, this is about me”. What time exactly are you going to switch for? Getting an additional weekend? Not traveling at the sake of kids happiness? I’m really having a hard time understanding what benefit this is for kid.
                          Yes! Your absolutely right however if I'm working afternoons I'm requesting to switch weekends..

                          I dont mind paying for activities within reason.. I'm not atm machine.. I just feel like I have absolutely zero say in anything. The sky is the limit..

                          Yes I'm requesting switching access weekends when I work afternoons also when the children are done their activities in May. I would like 4 consecutive weekends and the extra week in the summer to be alternating..

                          What judge would disagree awarding a father additional access time? 18% access time is peanuts

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by MjD View Post
                            Yes! Your absolutely right however if I'm working afternoons I'm requesting to switch weekends..



                            I dont mind paying for activities within reason.. I'm not atm machine.. I just feel like I have absolutely zero say in anything. The sky is the limit..



                            Yes I'm requesting switching access weekends when I work afternoons also when the children are done their activities in May. I would like 4 consecutive weekends and the extra week in the summer to be alternating..



                            What judge would disagree awarding a father additional access time? 18% access time is peanuts


                            Getting consecutive weekends is unrealistic. No mother will agree to that and a judge won’t allow a mom to go without seeing the kids.

                            Don’t be an atm then. She doesn’t have to agree to what you want, you don’t have to agree to what she wants.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                              Getting consecutive weekends is unrealistic. No mother will agree to that and a judge wonÂ’t allow a mom to go without seeing the kids.

                              DonÂ’t be an atm then. She doesnÂ’t have to agree to what you want, you donÂ’t have to agree to what she wants.
                              Yes! Your absolutely right... it only 4 consecutive weekends and then it's back to default every 2nd weekend. What's the difference between 50/50 custody and asking judge for additional access time.. In shared custody mum only sees her children half of time. I only have my children 18% of time which from less then 50/50 custody.

                              So in other words fathers that go back to court to request additional access time with their children have been denied? I find this hard to believe?

                              This doesn't make sense earlier it was mentioned that mum doesn't need my consent to enroll the children in extra-curricular activities and I'm expected to pay what ever that cost is. Now Its mentioned that neither of us have to agree?

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by MjD View Post
                                So in other words fathers that go back to court to request additional access time with their children have been denied? I find this hard to believe?



                                This doesn't make sense earlier it was mentioned that mum doesn't need my consent to enroll the children in extra-curricular activities and I'm expected to pay what ever that cost is. Now Its mentioned that neither of us have to agree?

                                You seem to be unhappy about a lot of things while still failing to realize that you contributed to this problem. You also fail to realize that this isn’t a case of mom trying to hurt you, it’s kid wanting to do an activity they enjoy. Have you watched your daughter at her events? Is she happy doing this activity? You need to think about that.

                                In a few years it will be kid has to work so they don’t see you. Are you going to make them quit their job?

                                If you want to push this to court to get more time then do it. Several people here have told you it’s a big gamble you will probably lose. A judge will look at your schedule and the agreement and let you know that there isn’t much they can do. Plus, by the time it actually got to that point your child will be old enough to choose and will not want to be a part of the argument.

                                Your ex needs your agreement in writing to get the extra costs paid for but since you have been paying for it she has a good case for keeping it. This is an activity that kid has been in for a while. It isn’t a case of mom deciding to sign them up for multiple activities making you pay. The activity runs on weekends which means ultimately you will have to drive them. You are not happy about that despite being told that it is an opportunity for you to bond with your child and share something they enjoy.

                                As I said, this seems more about YOU and what YOU want rather than what is good for the kid(s). Yes it sucks that your child is in an activity they enjoy that takes up your time but that is their choice. Yes you work and can’t be with your kids but its best for them to be with their other parent rather than in child care. A judge will look at what is best for the kids and nothing in your argument says that. Instead it says “Im feel I am not treated fairly”.

                                Comment

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