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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 11-12-2019, 12:38 PM
backinthesaddle backinthesaddle is offline
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Default What happens at a Standstill?

Ex and I agree on kids and agreed to most financial terms of our separations agreement. His lawyer is a front man only and the agreements he sends my lawyer all need revision and its clear he is cut and past and thats about it.
However, we agree on where and how of the kids and finances. It seems the lawyers are going back and forth on legal jargon. 50 ways to skin a cat type of situation and I am paying for this back and forth. Ex now refuses to agree on anything and we are at an impasse. Some is quite obvious and he isn't asking his lawyer for clarification because he only paid his lawyer for a separation agreement to be drafted and nothing else. I am trying to protect myself. How does this get settled when this standstill occurs. I have acquiesced to all his wishes and he just keeps bullying. Threatens to leave the house empty (I have moved) and is just disagreeable and mean to the kids now. Meanwhile we have lines of credit owing, rental homes needing work and he refuses to help because they are "mine"(in agreement they are but not signed yet) and a life with my kids that needs to move forward. Just a complete bully yet I think going to court is over the top unnecessary. He won't do a 4 way meeting to hash it out because he was called out on his lies at the last one and it was embarrassing for him. Now what? What would a judge do and how long would it take to get there. I have tried reasoning and talking to ex but his is just horrible about it and said he has paid enough. He is simply angry that I was entitled to anything. I am even giving up almost a 100k as it is and walking away (for personal reasons and lieu of paying child support that is well documented)
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Old 11-12-2019, 08:52 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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You donít ďwinĒ with a bully by giving in. Because you will never give in enough. Just file in Court and follow the case law that is already set. You get 50% and the table child support. He needs a bigger bully (the judge) to Order his responsibilities since he isnít being reasonable. It will cost you less and take less time than negotiating with an unreasonable bully.
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Old 11-13-2019, 08:13 AM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Just go to court... it will take probably a couple years but it could take just as long to get an agreement. At least once you file if he decides to be reasonable you can always cancel the court date.

One thing that sticks out is you cannot sign away Cs... regardless of what an agreement says, one can still go to court and request monthly CS. Incomes change and thus CS will change.

It doesnít sound like youíve agreed on much if ex wonít sign...


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Old 11-13-2019, 09:05 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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File a motion to get it moving. My husbandís ex pulled this stunt. Refused everything. Scheduled meetings and either left after saying her side or didnít show. He finally filed a motion and the judge was not pleased. Told the ex to either get negotiating and accept what my husband was offering or the court would order more for him. They signed the agreement a few months later.
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Old 11-13-2019, 09:38 AM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by backinthesaddle View Post
Ex now refuses to agree on anything and we are at an impasse... I think going to court is over the top unnecessary.

When you cannot negotiate, you go to court. That is the entire point of court.


The good news is that, as others have pointed out, the process of going to court often results in you not having to go to court, because the other side sees that it is time to settle.
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Old 11-13-2019, 09:42 AM
gettingexpensive gettingexpensive is offline
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And if he really is high conflict and not reasonable, here's what you can expect in court:
http://www.fishermediation.com/media...ntsREPRINT.pdf

You are screwed either way. You cannot negotiate with a terrorist, anything that should be fair to both parties is seen as a loss for them so it won't go anywhere. Court it is..
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Old 11-13-2019, 09:50 AM
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And if he really is high conflict and not reasonable, here's what you can expect in court:
http://www.fishermediation.com/media...ntsREPRINT.pdf

Do you get a referral fee every time you post that link? I think there are still a couple of threads left for you to use it on. If you run out of current threads just start necro'ing some old threads and post the link there.

Kaaaching!
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Old 11-13-2019, 10:05 AM
gettingexpensive gettingexpensive is offline
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Do you get a referral fee every time you post that link? I think there are still a couple of threads left for you to use it on. If you run out of current threads just start necro'ing some old threads and post the link there.

Kaaaching!
Nah, unfortunately. But I'm hoping that it reduces backinthesaddle's shock of things dragging on in court going just as well as the mediation via lawyers (ie: nowhere). Granted, every case is different but sadly I found it to be spot on so far...
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Old 11-13-2019, 10:09 AM
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Nah, unfortunately. But I'm hoping that it reduces backinthesaddle's shock of things dragging on in court going just as well as the mediation via lawyers (ie: nowhere). Granted, every case is different but sadly I found it to be spot on so far...

No, backinthesaddle does not sound like somebody dealing with a cluster B personality disorder problem at all. I think you just like posting that link everywhere.


As a bonus, the link is directed towards lawyers, and how to deal with such clients as a lawyer. It is not for ex spouses of these people. The first time you posted it is was interesting, but it is hardly a timeless tome that is relevant to every post on this forum.
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