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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #101  
Old 10-04-2019, 01:06 AM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Iím confused. Your exís lawyer was working for your ex not his girlfriend. She is not a party in this litigation. As such if he asks to make her party to this litigation say no. If she is in court ask to have her removed from the court. She is not one of the surviving legally recognized parents. If she suddenly wants custody of your children she will have to start a separate court proceeding independent of your litigation with your now deceased ex. She is not a party to your proceedings. Do not give her permission to become one. The bar she has to climb in order to do so is
exceedingly high.

The law is on your side. Her text message will not be well received. The judge will give you an adjournment, especially if you have legal representation lined up. Instruct your lawyer that you do not give consent for her to become a party to these proceedings. She has an uphill battle. Believe in yourself. Look at the hell you have already gone through and survived. You will survive this too and you are doing the right thing by fighting for your kids. You are not replaceable. No matter what shenanigans the girlfriend pulls she will never ever be their mother. Never for all of eternity. You are and will always be your childrenís only mother. Nobody has the power to take that away from you.
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  #102  
Old 10-04-2019, 06:03 AM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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Just sending you my support and prayers. You got this. Don't let the lawyers intimidation affect you. There is no accountability for sleezy blood sucking lawyers. Ignore the noise and stay focused. Like the other poster said say no to allowing the step mother to become a party to the matter. Stay strong. You have come this far. Sending you my prayers.
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  #103  
Old 10-04-2019, 08:11 AM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Good luck today. Try and keep emotions out of it, as hard as that will be. You want to appear stable and strong in front of a judge.

Try and write down all the main points said, ask for clarification if needed and DONíT CONSENT TO SQUAT.
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  #104  
Old 10-04-2019, 08:16 AM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Also, out of curiosity.... Would the judge not tell the exís lawyer right there in court that the step mom cannot currently be keeping the girls with her and that they need to go to mom? Like until the step mom magically gets an order giving her sole custody, she has no right to keep those girls, no?
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  #105  
Old 10-04-2019, 12:15 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mummaa222 View Post
Is there not some kind of rule against lawyers intimidation and confusing unrepresented parties? I was sure I read that somewhere before but now that I'm looking for it I can't find it of course.
It comes right after the rule against intimidating recently widowed parties.

Judges sometimes castigate lawyers for "sharp practice"... perhaps that is what you mean? Anyhow, ex's lawyer is supposed to be intimidating you, that's his job.
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  #106  
Old 10-04-2019, 05:54 PM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
It comes right after the rule against intimidating recently widowed parties.
It's a good thing then that there's no widow and the only party is deceased in my case.

My text to her wasn't intimidation either, it was a mother who has barely slept and has lost 15 pounds in 17 days worrying about the well being of her children who were being withheld from her. If it was meant to intimidate or harass her I would have texted her the day of!

You almost sound like you know her...if you do, you can let her know that she's got the war she was looking for. Sooner or later God will cut her down.
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  #107  
Old 10-04-2019, 06:11 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Did you go to court today? Was it adjourned?
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  #108  
Old 10-04-2019, 07:27 PM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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Mummaa222, you got that right. God will cut her down. How did it go? I've been thinking about your situation all day and praying for you. It's unfortunate the system is broken and full of asshole lawyers. Keep forging ahead.
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  #109  
Old 10-04-2019, 07:41 PM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stillbreathing View Post
Did you go to court today? Was it adjourned?
Oh I went alright ugh

His lawyer said in her 31 years of practicing she has never dealt with anything like this. The judge said he also has never dealt with anything like this. Not a good thing...for me anyways.

So here's what happened:

The girlfriend was there with his mother. His mother took one look at me and started to cry and so did I and so did my mother and so did his lawyer...great start!

His lawyer said the gf would like to apologize for her text...of course she does! I told her no way since this is the 2nd time since I've known her that she has threatened me and she has also threatened my son when he was only a child, the same age as my oldest daughter now.

Then she comes up with this:

RULE 4: Representation
REPRESENTATION OF PARTY WHO DIES
(5) If a party dies after the start of a case, the court may make the estate trustee a party instead, on motion without notice. O. Reg. 114/99, r. 4 (5).

AUTHORIZING REPRESENTATIVE FOR PARTY WHO DIES
(6) If the party has no estate trustee, the court may authorize an appropriate person to act as representative, with that person’s consent, given in advance. O. Reg. 114/99, r. 4 (6).

She decides that his mother, who is estate trustee can consent to allow his gf to represent him in the case. That is not my understanding of what that says?

So now the gf is representing him. I tell the judge that poses a problem as she has threatened me but too bad for me, he doesn't want to hear about it or even see the text!

Then she asks for the children's lawyer for the kids, apparently I have no say in that either. He suggested the guardian of public trustees or something (yes, I wrote it down but i'm not near my notes)

The judge asked me if I plan on proceeding with my motion to change and I tell him I do and plan to amend my motion to ask for sole custody. I told him duty counsel recomended that i bring a motion right away for custody but chose not to because i didn't want to hurt my girls more than they're hurting right now after losing their daddy.

I asked him if he could tell me who currently has custody of my children and he says: good question! then he gives the gf temporary custody of my girls!! when i asked about my access he tells me if they want to see me they know how to find me and that at 10 and 14 they're old enough to decide on their own!! WTF!!!

so his lawyer is still asking about the motion material from me and the judge tells her that the order doesnt exist anymore and because im amending my order we should go to assignment court on the 17th. our trial scheduling conference was to be on the 8th and his lawyer wanted to still go through with it...no idea how she wanted to do that! but it had already been vacated because thankfully someone was thinking straight.

So a non-parent and non-biological person has been granted temporary custody of my children even though no background checks were done and they still have a surviving biological parent who wants custody and is not unfit. can that even be done? can a judge just make orders because he wants to? He based it on the best interests of the children and said today isn't a trial so I couldn't even give my side.

this is absolutely ridiculous and heartbreaking. i have ptsd from what the 2 of them put me through before and this is like going through it all over again!! they wanted me in counselling before when i didn't need it so they're going to get that too because i'm going to need it to keep fighting for my babies :'(
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  #110  
Old 10-04-2019, 07:50 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Just remember this is temporary... I canít comment on the legalities of it all, but Iím assuming the Judge didnít want to uproot the girls any further until they have a chance to see the evidence before the court. You see your lawyer next week correct? Hopefully they can explain how that part of the law works when one is deceased. I would argue the 10 year old isnít old enough to decide but I do feel the 14 year old is. The problem is most judges donít want to split up children. Having the childrenís lawyer involved for your children may be a good thing... give them a voice that isnít step moms. Seek out counselling to help you throughout emotions. When youíre in court you want to keep emotions out of it. Iím sorry you didnít get the results you wanted... I truly think you should have at least been provided access to the children until everything is settled


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alienated, death, p.a.s., sole custody, step-mother


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