Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > General Chat

General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 03-21-2014, 11:46 AM
Mommy2 Mommy2 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Waterloo, Ontario
Posts: 28
Mommy2 is on a distinguished road
Default Summer

Hi everyone,

Just wondering what everyone dose in the summer?

One week on, one week off?

Summer camps?

Keep the "normal" schedule in place?

Child care/daycare?

Age of children make a difference?

So far we keep the regular schedule in place as both parents work, the children may go to camp, and it is the parents responsibility to get them to camp if it is their day. Other than that they are in child care. Each parent gets one week in each month for vacation time.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 03-21-2014, 12:26 PM
FB_ FB_ is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,407
FB_ will become famous soon enough
Default

We do weeks Sunday-Sunday 7pm.

There are 9 weeks in summer so last year I had 5 and she had 4. This year it is the opposite.

My ex is off all summer so it added a very large challenge for me.

It is also her year to pick her weeks. She gets first choice at her 5 weeks. The only rules we have is that she cannot have them for more than 2 consecutive weeks. She must tell me which weeks she has picked by May 1st so I can coordinate my holidays at work.

Canada Day alternates each year so since she had Canada day week last year I get it this year.

I don't get enough holidays to have the kids for all my access time. So the kids spend time with my parents at their cottages in Northern Ontario.

I booked long weekends and spend as much time as I can with them.

Last edited by FB_; 03-21-2014 at 12:29 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-21-2014, 12:35 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,329
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default

My partners agreement states that they each get two weeks of vacation in July and two weeks in August. She gets to pick in even numbered years and must let him know by March 1 and he picks in odd never years, same rules apply. Neither may have the children for more than 2 consecutive weeks. This year it is working out that they are basically doing every other week Sun-Sun until mid August, where she then has them for the remaining two weeks. In our situation, she feels that if there are 5 weeks in a month, she ALWAYS gets the extra and not the other way around, even if during the normal schedule it would be our weekend with the kids.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-21-2014, 12:39 PM
Mommy2 Mommy2 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Waterloo, Ontario
Posts: 28
Mommy2 is on a distinguished road
Default

This year it's the ex's turn to pick first, wont tell me till June 1st... I think that's too late to arrange with work/camp etc... But we don't have anything set in our agreement so I have to wait to make plans...

It's great to see people making a schedule that works for the children, summer should be fun for them.. Def not a time to be ruined
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-21-2014, 12:59 PM
FB_ FB_ is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,407
FB_ will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2 View Post
This year it's the ex's turn to pick first, wont tell me till June 1st... I think that's too late to arrange with work/camp etc... But we don't have anything set in our agreement so I have to wait to make plans...

It's great to see people making a schedule that works for the children, summer should be fun for them.. Def not a time to be ruined
I also think that May 1st is too late but it is what I agreed too.

I told her my weeks in March last year. I've asked a couple times already this year and her response was "I have until May 1st"

I know I have the first week because of Canada. She later came to me and asked me to have the 4th week of July because of a wedding she has to attend

So that means it has to be like this for July

Week 1 - Me
Week 2 - Her
Week 3 - Her
Week 4 - Me

I have to have 2 more weeks out of the remaining 5 and she can't have them for more than 2 so there are only a couple real options left.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-21-2014, 01:02 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,329
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2 View Post
This year it's the ex's turn to pick first, wont tell me till June 1st... I think that's too late to arrange with work/camp etc... But we don't have anything set in our agreement so I have to wait to make plans...

It's great to see people making a schedule that works for the children, summer should be fun for them.. Def not a time to be ruined
It really is great when kids can enjoy their summer. A few years ago they did two weeks on and two weeks off. This was very hard on the children. It was the second summer after their separation (the first summer he didn't get any vacation time). Dad was still at work and the kids were with me. We were having a fire in the back yard and all the sudden my step son lost it. Starting crying and screaming and would not calm down, said he missed his Mom (this is half way through his second week with us and he attempted to call his Mom the night before but got no answer). I tried Dad but he was with a client so couldn't answer the phone. My next attempt was to Mom, after a few tries she finally picked up. I explained what was going on and she tried to calm him down, but he was just as upset at her as he was everyone else. After Mom tried for about 20 min to reason with him, she hung up.

I did the next best thing I could think of... I picked him up and just held him. Didn't say a word, just held him, he was clearly hurt and upset. He calmed down after about 10 min, stopped his crying and seemed to snap out of his fit. When I discussed it with him, it turned out he really missed his Mom and didn't like that she never called him at all in over a week.

When Dad got home and the kids were in bed, we discussed what happened. A part of him felt like his kids didn't want to be with him for long periods of time, just wanted to visit him and go back home. He decided to ask his ex if in August they could do one week on and one week off, rather than the two weeks as originally planned. Unfortunately she denied the request as she already had plans for her two off weeks. August went a little better, but Dad made sure the kids got to talk to Mom at least once a week (although they called her almost every night)

Since that summer we have been doing week on/week off. This seems to work out best. We realize that because the kids spent the majority of their time with Mom, they will miss her when they are with us, so we try to minimize that as much as possible.

I think vacations/alone time with both parents is important, but I also think this should be judged based on how well the children cope.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-21-2014, 02:22 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,853
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
...This year it is working out that they are basically doing every other week Sun-Sun until mid August, where she then has them for the remaining two weeks. In our situation, she feels that if there are 5 weeks in a month, she ALWAYS gets the extra and not the other way around, even if during the normal schedule it would be our weekend with the kids.
I didn't understand this or what exactly is in your order/agreement, but just thought I'd comment, normal schedule applies, if the vacation time has already been accounted for, taken. If it would be your normal weekend, then it's your weekend. Unless your order is worded that this extra time is vacation time?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-21-2014, 02:29 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,853
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2 View Post
Just wondering what everyone dose in the summer?

One week on, one week off?

Summer camps?

Keep the "normal" schedule in place?...

...So far we keep the regular schedule in place as both parents work, the children may go to camp, and it is the parents responsibility to get them to camp if it is their day. Other than that they are in child care. Each parent gets one week in each month for vacation time.
Seems entirely specific to each couple of seperated parents. Anything is fine, if it works out for both parents.

Regular schedule continuing (outside of the vacation time) seems appropriate, especially since both parents work in your situation.

It seems pretty common with people's vacation time clauses, in orders, is no more than 2 weeks consequitive. Gives one enough time to go away somewhere for vacation, but it's not too long, that you're away on vacation.

In most cases, it's not like kids are cut off from the other parent entirely, during vacation time (at least with reasonable parents). Little Billy, can always call the other parent, to let them know they are having fun, or what cool thing they are doing on vacation.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-21-2014, 02:33 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,329
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dad2bandm View Post
I didn't understand this or what exactly is in your order/agreement, but just thought I'd comment, normal schedule applies, if the vacation time has already been accounted for, taken. If it would be your normal weekend, then it's your weekend. Unless your order is worded that this extra time is vacation time?
This is the exact wording of their agreement...

Quote:
g) Four weeks in the summer months of July and August provided that it is two weeks in July and two weeks in August. The Husband shall in odd
numbered years be entitled to pick his weeks first and in even numbered
years the Wife shall be entitled to pick her weeks first. Each party is to
advise the other of their chosen vacation time by March 1st in each year in
writing, failing which the other party shall be entitled to choose his or her
vacation times by May 1st in each year in writing.
Summer Holidays for the children are obviously all of July & August, but that is not a holiday for everyone else. His understanding is that the normal schedule remains, but each can pick 2 weeks in July and 2 weeks in August. If it happens that she picks weeks that fall on his weekend with them, so be it, it is her turn to pick, but what has happened is, she picked her weeks, he picked his, but if you look at July there are really 5 weeks in July. The one week neither of them picked, she would normally have them during the week and he would have them that weekend, but she says he is not entitled to more than his two weeks in July, so essentially she is getting them 3 full weeks in July and not allowing him to have his weekend he would normally have.

It isn't a huge issue, as he is getting to spend 2 full weeks with them in the month of July/August, when he usually only gets EOW, so he is up on his parenting days. It is just another way some people manipulate the wording.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Summer Access tennyis Divorce & Family Law 24 08-17-2011 12:04 PM
Summer with their Dad Ames Parenting Issues 9 07-11-2011 04:32 PM
Summer and NCP Finances got2bkid Financial Issues 85 08-20-2010 04:44 PM
Summer Vacation plans earthmother1970 Parenting Issues 22 11-19-2009 11:19 PM
Summer Visitation No Request? doingmybest Divorce & Family Law 6 05-02-2009 08:40 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:11 AM.