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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 10-10-2013, 05:44 PM
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plainNamedDad44 plainNamedDad44 is offline
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Default What if I just went and picked up my kids ?

Hi all,

stbx left with the children back in may while I was at work and took them to toronto. CAS was involved and has determined that there is no concern with me.

She is not cooperating with access.

I am frustrated, and I am not going to do this but I am really tempted to pick my kids up from school in toronto and take them out for dinner or play football or something, without even asking her.

Is that abduction ? I am a custodial parent and there are no court orders saying otherwise. Could she call the police ?

I won't do anything unless I have a court order, but I was just curious as to what if anything would happen.

Anyway, just venting, stbx not providing access. I have served a motion for same. God this sucks.
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  #2  
Old 10-10-2013, 05:53 PM
OrleansLawyer OrleansLawyer is offline
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Quote:
stbx left with the children back in may while I was at work and took them to toronto.
Last May sounds like a good time for a motion.

Quote:
pick my kids up from school in toronto and take them out for dinner or play football or something
How would your children feel about that? Would it cause them stress?

Quote:
Could she call the police ?
The police generally do not involve themselves without a police enforcement clause.

Quote:
but I was just curious as to what if anything would happen.
1- You risk emotional damage to your children.
2- You look like a jerk.
3- Depending on 1, you may actually be a jerk.
4- You justify her mal fides by acting with bad faith yourself.
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  #3  
Old 10-10-2013, 06:10 PM
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plainNamedDad44 plainNamedDad44 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OrleansLawyer View Post
Last May sounds like a good time for a motion.


How would your children feel about that? Would it cause them stress?


The police generally do not involve themselves without a police enforcement clause.


1- You risk emotional damage to your children.
2- You look like a jerk.
3- Depending on 1, you may actually be a jerk.
4- You justify her mal fides by acting with bad faith yourself.
thought so. thanks.
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Old 10-10-2013, 06:46 PM
takeontheworld takeontheworld is offline
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Id probably go ahead and do it. I unfortunately act first think later. Its a good thing you didnt though. Hope you feel better soon.
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  #5  
Old 10-10-2013, 08:15 PM
BitHunter BitHunter is offline
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I thought the police would charge with child abduction. Is there any criteria when/how they can do it? If I just take my daughter after school for a dinner (without any emotional harm or distress) can they charge me with abduction?
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Old 10-10-2013, 08:40 PM
HappyMomma HappyMomma is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BitHunter View Post
I thought the police would charge with child abduction. Is there any criteria when/how they can do it? If I just take my daughter after school for a dinner (without any emotional harm or distress) can they charge me with abduction?
If there is no court order there is zero the police can do.
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Old 10-10-2013, 08:54 PM
BitHunter BitHunter is offline
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That would be a bit hard to believe. Can anyone chime it? What and when the police can do?
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  #8  
Old 10-10-2013, 09:02 PM
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They will contact you and ask you to return the children.

If there is no court order, or concern for child(s) well-being - they cannot force you to return child(s).

They will come visit your house in response to your ex's call, and take a look around when you invite them in. If there is nothing giving them cause for concern - they will leave.

It is important to consider how long you have allowed the current situation to be.
If it has been say, six months or more, you could be considered to NOT be the custodial parent (based on status-quo).

The fall back answer to the police would always be "The ex is welcome to come pick them up anytime".
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  #9  
Old 10-10-2013, 09:33 PM
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**** WHINER ALERT *** I don't do this often.


I am just so f**king tired of being the only one playing by the rules. Having to prove to CAS, OCL and the courts that I am a good dad.

She is a liar, and a cheat. 3 affairs. I stayed for the kids. She ruined the family business, I stayed. Then I admitted made the mistake of getting physical, and was honest about it and it got me convicted. I *used* to do work for CSIS, CSEC, RCMP. No more. No security clearance. Lies to my children about stupid things like telling them she paid for their braces, when I went and borrowed the money to do so. Lied to childrens aid. I only now have convinced them I am a good father. I am sorry but I have nothing but hate towards her. I have always played by the rules all my life, and been screwed for it. Regardless I know I must if I am to fight for my kids.

She has never been held accountable. I am just assumed to be a bastard and have been swimming upstream for a almost two years.

Ok, done crying.
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  #10  
Old 10-10-2013, 10:00 PM
dadthatshadenough dadthatshadenough is offline
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When I was living in the matrimonial home and separated I often picked up my daughter early from daycare just to spend time with her. My lawyers advice was just send a text to my Stbx as I was at the daycare letting her know what I was doing and just have fun with my daughter.

My ex was evil so this was the only way I could maintain time with my child. If you are still in the home and have no parenting plan, do it. She can't do a thing and it will drive her nuts.

My ex was pissed and would call and text me like crazy but I just ignored her nonsense.

Water off a ducks back.
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