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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law > Common Law Issues

Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

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  #11  
Old 04-14-2013, 10:14 PM
Mess Mess is offline
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Since you aren't on bad terms with her, the way most of us divorced members are with our ex's, I would suggest that you approach her with a friendly, optimistic offer to adopt the child into your family. You can offhandedly mention that this means she wouldn't be responsible for support, without making her sound like a potential deadbeat. Give her a guarentee that the child will have regular time with the maternal grandparents and that bio mom may stay as involved as she wishes.

Court should be a last resort, and a friendly discussion of possibilities should be the first.
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  #12  
Old 04-14-2013, 11:37 PM
pupp1977 pupp1977 is offline
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but thats the thing, we haven't talked to her since before she ran away so her parents couldn't take her first 2 kids from her marrage away. she had told my GF, who she kept telling she was so in love with and didn't want to lose us, to f off and leave her and her new man alone. deleted her off FB but I went silent to her and she either forgot to delete me or just didn't delete me. thats the last we talked. she knows I wanted DNA test and involvement if it is mine, it was one of the last face to face convesations we had. Could be part of why she ran too
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  #13  
Old 04-15-2013, 01:47 AM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pupp1977 View Post
Yeah hijack the thread and judge away.....All you people really need to grow the hell up and stop being judges and look at your own lives with nothing to do but judge others
Nobody hijacked the thread. From what I see people have offered you good initial advice, given the details so far.

DNA test is first step and important, to protect yourself.
You really should consult a lawyer about this...probably with your spouse. FYI...a lawyer will ask you the same questions.
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  #14  
Old 04-15-2013, 02:12 AM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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Unless a moderator removed a post I didn't see.
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  #15  
Old 04-15-2013, 02:28 AM
pupp1977 pupp1977 is offline
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Quote:
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Unless a moderator removed a post I didn't see.
yep they did
thanks again
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  #16  
Old 04-15-2013, 02:46 AM
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arabian arabian is offline
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The people on this forum are not paid lawyers, rather they have gone to court and won and lost. Some have experience similar to your situation. Keep that in mind. There might be some people that you think you relate to but you don't want to give full information on this forum. All you need do is click on their name and select the option to send a private message.

When you ask for opinions from most people on here you will receive their opinon. Sometimes it isn't what you want to hear but it may save you lots of money in the long run. While you can receive support from individuals on this forum the most valuable information you will receive is advice from experienced people who have gone to court. We are not lawyers. If you want legal information you should hire a lawyer.

Last edited by arabian; 04-15-2013 at 02:49 AM.
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  #17  
Old 04-15-2013, 09:27 AM
pupp1977 pupp1977 is offline
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I plan on seeing a lawyer, but I did want to know my options a little and saving a few bucks is always a good thing.
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  #18  
Old 04-15-2013, 09:35 AM
Mess Mess is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dad2bandm View Post
Unless a moderator removed a post I didn't see.
A moderator removed about a dozen posts you didn't see.
Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
When you ask for opinions from most people on here you will receive their opinon. Sometimes it isn't what you want to hear but it may save you lots of money in the long run. While you can receive support from individuals on this forum the most valuable information you will receive is advice from experienced people who have gone to court. We are not lawyers. If you want legal information you should hire a lawyer.
This is a site that exists primarily for sharing legal information. He came to the right place. This is a not a site for you to proselityze. If that is what you want to do, you are in the wrong place. This is not your kitchen, it is a privately owned message board and you will stick to the board rules.

pupp1977 asked for an opinion about achieving sole custody. The posts I removed were completely off topic and inflammitory.
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  #19  
Old 04-15-2013, 09:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pupp1977 View Post
I plan on seeing a lawyer, but I did want to know my options a little and saving a few bucks is always a good thing.
She can't cut you out of the child's life or refuse contact with you.

You have an uphill battle to get full custody if she does not want to co-operate. To get full custody you need to be able to show factual reasons. You can't use things that were passed on to you second hand, you can't just say you think something is true, you have to be able to show proof. Because she lives so far away and you have so little contact, you will have a very hard time getting any kind of evidence.

The fact that children's services removed her other children more than once may play in your favour, but it isn't enough on its own. From your wording it sounds like the children are back with her and these were past instances? If the children were permanently removed it would carry more weight.

Your best bet for now is to play nice, but be firm. If your spouse isn't on good terms with her at the moment, keep her well out of any discussions.
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  #20  
Old 04-15-2013, 09:58 AM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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That was my question...is CAS currently involved? Given the info posted thus far, I'd be surprised if they were not, or won't be soon, given the description of the "gf" you provided.

If this "gf" associates with people who drag other people behind cars, because they are "coked out", and has had her children removed from her before, then I think it's a fair point, to wonder, why you and your current common-law spouse, as parents, think it's a good idea to associate with her, given you have other children?

Again, I'm not sure what the other removed posts were, and I'm not "judging" (or maybe I am?), but I would certainly question what kind of info is left-out of your situation, in that you present to this forum, and you can be sure this will be asked of you, by any legal counsel you seek?

Given your situation, you really do need legal counsel.
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