Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law > Common Law Issues

Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #21  
Old 03-03-2013, 03:27 PM
wretchedotis's Avatar
wretchedotis wretchedotis is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: ON
Posts: 2,317
wretchedotis is on a distinguished road
Default

If it's completely free for you - whats the problem?
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 03-03-2013, 03:40 PM
Leviathan's Avatar
Leviathan Leviathan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ottawa area
Posts: 301
Leviathan is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by wretchedotis View Post
If it's completely free for you - whats the problem?

I can't have someone as a spouse/dependent under my plan when I don't actually live or cohabitate with them...as far as I understood anyways...again, maybe I'm incorrect...what I'm meaning to say is the STBX won't actually be a "spouse" any longer..soooo...yea...I'm confused as to having her still on my health benefits...is it fraud??...is it illegal??...is it corrupt...see what I'm saying??

I just want to get a general consensus on what others have done here in the forum...see if anyone was or still is in the same boat..
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 03-03-2013, 03:44 PM
Mess Mess is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,448
Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
Default

Divorcemate automatically gives a number for spousal support, that doesn't mean anything. There must be entitlement, and it must be shown.

Did your ex work throughout the relationship?

Was their career in any way affected by the relationship?

How long was the relationship?

The fact that you earned more than someone doesn't mean there is spousal support.

Her lawyer represents her and will say things to you in order to get the best deal they can for her. Don't take anything the lawyer says as fact.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 03-03-2013, 03:45 PM
Mess Mess is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,448
Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by wretchedotis View Post
If it's completely free for you - whats the problem?
Because it is an admission that he has a responsibility to continue providing for her.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 03-03-2013, 04:06 PM
Leviathan's Avatar
Leviathan Leviathan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ottawa area
Posts: 301
Leviathan is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
Divorcemate automatically gives a number for spousal support, that doesn't mean anything. There must be entitlement, and it must be shown.

Did your ex work throughout the relationship?

Was their career in any way affected by the relationship?

How long was the relationship?

The fact that you earned more than someone doesn't mean there is spousal support.

Her lawyer represents her and will say things to you in order to get the best deal they can for her. Don't take anything the lawyer says as fact.

Mess...seriously...I'll give you the court address and dates..I'll have you in on the case conference with me..lol...jk

ok I'll answer as best I can here

we were CL for 11 years..her having 2 children from a previous MARRIAGE (she's still legally married..well...she never changed her last name...it's still hyphenated with her ex's)

HER career was NOT affected at all...she actually got small increases yearly (cost of living??)...we never moved...we stayed and lived in HER house. (which I refurnished throughout the 11 years)

I make rougly 70G more per year than she does..

of course she's chasing after SS and CS..from all the threads and posts here (and some CANLII cases I've read)...SS isn't an entitlement anymore...it's pretty well a given...it's up to the judge to determine for how long...am I wrong??

Mess...I totally understand her lawyers trying her best to scare me..I'm just hoping half her S**T is just that!! S**T!!

I see more cases on CanLII where the ex husband/bf ends up paying SS than I do where the judge DENIES SS to the wife/gf...or is it just me??
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 03-03-2013, 04:12 PM
Leviathan's Avatar
Leviathan Leviathan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ottawa area
Posts: 301
Leviathan is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
Because it is an admission that he has a responsibility to continue providing for her.

It's an admission??..on my part??

nooo...what happenned to the good old days where when a relations ends, it's just that!!...DONE??

lol...yes she has a child (2 actually) that I helped raise (son's out working fulltime)..it's the daughter she wants me to help pay CS for..

fine...I'm ok with that..but SS??..it's killing me to be honest..I moved into YOUR house where YOU lived a LAVISH DECENT lifestyle with your kids for 5-7 years ALONE because you asked your husband to leave WAAYYY before I moved in.

I HELPED....HELPED you raise the kids...refurnished your house.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 03-03-2013, 04:23 PM
Mess Mess is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,448
Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
Default

Do a rough total of what you did for the house over the years. Do your best to estimate the cost of the materials, the hours of labour for each job, and the resulting effect on the value of the house.

Do your best to be fair and accurate, but this is for negotiation purposes so don't undervalue your work. Detail it and send it to her lawyer and state that she has been unjustly enriched (make sure you mention that term) during the course of the relationship and that if she feels an entitlement to spousal support that you will be seeking compensation for your work on the house, and a possible constructive trust claim. State that if she wishes negotiate you are open to that, but that negotiations means both sides will be willing to give up something.

Try to keep it business like and follow what I wrote as closely as possible. Remember you are negotiating here. Don't admit to owing her a cent. Of course she won't admit either. You are going to suggest that both parties can save legal costs by agreeing to settle and you await their next offer.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 03-03-2013, 04:26 PM
Mess Mess is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,448
Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
Default

Keep in mind that only about 4% of cases that start out in family court ever make it to trial. That also doesn't include people who manage to settle without filing. The cases you find on Canlii are only a percentage of trials, not all of them are published. So just because you don't see something similar to your situation doesn't mean you will be paying spousal support.

Your CL relationship would not be considered long, and your arguments are:
  1. She worked throughout the relationship and she was not in any way disadvantaged by it.
  2. She benefitted from your contributions to the home.
  3. She is fully employed and self-supporting.
Regarding CS remember that you are not just going to pay until she is 18. If she goes to post-secondary, then you will be supporting for another 4 years, and be paying probably roughly half (going by your incomes) of her tuition and expenses. Make sure you are happy to do this.

If the child refuses contact with you, this is grounds for ending CS, even if In Loco Parentis can be shown. If you are fond of her and she is willing to send you an email every now and then and you want to do this, then by all means go ahead. I completely respect that, and as she grows up she will look back and respect it too.

If she goes to post-sec you have every right to copies of tuition and expense receipts. She should be contributing at least a third of the cost. You and the mother should be splitting the rest proportionate to income.

Just be aware what you are signing up for before you admit anyone is entitled.
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 03-03-2013, 04:37 PM
Leviathan's Avatar
Leviathan Leviathan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ottawa area
Posts: 301
Leviathan is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
Do a rough total of what you did for the house over the years. Do your best to estimate the cost of the materials, the hours of labour for each job, and the resulting effect on the value of the house.

Do your best to be fair and accurate, but this is for negotiation purposes so don't undervalue your work. Detail it and send it to her lawyer and state that she has been unjustly enriched (make sure you mention that term) during the course of the relationship and that if she feels an entitlement to spousal support that you will be seeking compensation for your work on the house, and a possible constructive trust claim. State that if she wishes negotiate you are open to that, but that negotiations means both sides will be willing to give up something.

Try to keep it business like and follow what I wrote as closely as possible. Remember you are negotiating here. Don't admit to owing her a cent. Of course she won't admit either. You are going to suggest that both parties can save legal costs by agreeing to settle and you await their next offer.

already discussed that during the 4 way...I have receipts of EVERYTHING I purchased in the house...told her I'm willing to negiotiate.

her lawyer states fine..we'll knock off 2 grand out of the 9000 in arrears I owe her??...whaaa??..the bedroom set alone was over 1000...what about the tv, frdge, etc??..she states depreciation..

anyways...huge mess..her and her lawyer storm out of the 4 way stating fine...we'll see you at the case conference and I'll be putting in a motion to have your client (me) pay full costs..

soo...case conference is this month...we all hand in our case conference briefs this tuesday..the STBX's is like 28 pages long..really...BRIEF?...28 pages long??

my lawyer is quite comfortable thinking we're gonna benefit outta all this..of course she's gonna tell me that, right??
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 03-03-2013, 04:43 PM
Mess Mess is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,448
Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
Default

Rawluk v. Rawluk, [1990] 1 SCR 70

About constructive trusts.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Driving for visits winterwolf7 Parenting Issues 10 07-25-2011 09:14 PM
Seperated under the same roof - spouse driving my cars ddol1 Divorce & Family Law 7 07-15-2011 04:22 PM
Driving fireweb13 Divorce & Family Law 10 05-09-2011 07:30 PM
Parent driving erratically with teen in car Epona Parenting Issues 6 01-23-2011 05:38 PM
Driving Home for Christmas dadtotheend General Chat 5 12-28-2010 05:23 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:43 PM.