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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 11-14-2019, 03:22 PM
Tbaga Tbaga is offline
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Default Help with last hurdle to sign agreement

The ex and I we're at the point to sign a separation agreement. We both have our own lawyers that drafted the agreement and now ready to give certificate, etc. We finally reached agreement on everything, from child support to parenting and almost everything in between. But the ex keeps loosing jobs, mostly contract jobs, every time we're ready to sign the agreement. Of note my ex is highly educated with post-graduate university degree and a number of years younger than me (e.g., I'm approaching retirement and the ex is many years away from it). Finally, I decided not to sign the agreement until my ex gets a job, preferably a full time permanent job with specified minimum salary. With my ex's experience and education, my ex is more than able to have a much higher salary than the minimum I'm requesting (instead of zero salary). The reason of stating a minimum salary is because that leads to the maximum I can afford to pay for both child support (offset) and mortgage. If my ex's income drops to zero, I have to either default on my mortgage payments or support or I have to keep borrowing. Right now my standard of living, and consequently the children's when they are living with me, is lower than my ex's, financially and in terms of accommodation. Should I insist on an imputed salary on my ex? Am I being unreasonable for insisting that my ex gets a job and on a minimum salary, or should I accept the situation (and keep borrowing to cover costs) and move on? Thanks for all the advice you can provide.
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Old 11-14-2019, 04:16 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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Your salary is $150,000 a year, right? And she raised your children while you pursued your career with her support. It is hard for women in their forties to get a highly paid permanent position without the benefit of resume reflecting an uninterrupted career spanning decades.

All of this conflict you are creating is just prolonging the long term damage you are causing to emotional relationships. Sign the agreement (that is mostly in your favour! No spousal support after a long-term marriage!) And let everyone, especially your teens, move on with their lives.

Stop trying to control what she does - she isnít your wife anymore, remeber?
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  #3  
Old 11-14-2019, 08:00 PM
Tbaga Tbaga is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tilt View Post
Your salary is $150,000 a year, right? And she raised your children while you pursued your career with her support. It is hard for women in their forties to get a highly paid permanent position without the benefit of resume reflecting an uninterrupted career spanning decades.

All of this conflict you are creating is just prolonging the long term damage you are causing to emotional relationships. Sign the agreement (that is mostly in your favour! No spousal support after a long-term marriage!) And let everyone, especially your teens, move on with their lives.

Stop trying to control what she does - she isnít your wife anymore, remeber?
No, my income is far from $150k a year; I wish it is, as I will have no issue moving on. To the contrary to what you stipulated; it is me who sacrificed my career advancement to allow my ex to pursue higher education. I had to quit my first job as a high paid manager and moved entirely to a different city to allow my ex to attend the university of choice to get postgraduate degrees. In the meantime, I took a term job that paid half the salary of my previous job and took me another 7 years to climb back to the same level of pay as when I was a manager. It's me who stayed with the kids at home (and worked from home) and did (I still do even now) almost everything the kids require. I can assure you, it will be extremely difficult for my ex to prove spousal support entitlement given the roles we palyed in our marriage. Even my ex's lawyer made that very clear to my ex. I accepted many terms in the agreement against the advice of my lawyer, simply because I wanted to move on with my life. Even now my lawyer strongly advised me not to sign the agreement until my ex's job situation and the frequent change of jobs and may be refusal to take a permanent job is cleared out. I'm just tired with the whole thing and want to move ahead with my life, but I also wanted a second opinion, hence my post here. Please don't presume and assume, not helpfull, ask me for further information if needed.

By the way anyone knows where is the logout button on the forum page. I can never find the signout button. Thanks
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Old 11-15-2019, 04:18 AM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Youíre never going to force your ex to work. It just wonít happen. If they donít want to work they wonít. You have two options... sign the agreement regardless of their job situation and hope theyíll sign with a minimum salary (doubtful), or go to court and prove they are underemployed and get an order for imputed wage


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Old 11-15-2019, 09:50 AM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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I would argue that the ex may not have an income of zero and work to impute an income to amount that is near what they are capable making. They will push back, but that is when you negotiate to a number you are OK with accepting. They can't not contribute to the financial needs of the child. There needs to a floor amount that they are expected to put towards the child.
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Old 11-15-2019, 01:34 PM
Tbaga Tbaga is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
I would argue that the ex may not have an income of zero and work to impute an income to amount that is near what they are capable making. They will push back, but that is when you negotiate to a number you are OK with accepting. They can't not contribute to the financial needs of the child. There needs to a floor amount that they are expected to put towards the child.
Thank you HammerDad for the thoughtful comment. I did exactly what you suggested here. Fortunately, my ex's lawyer intervened and persuaded my ex to accept a minimum salary assigned to her for the purpose of determining CS, and this is accepted. So hopefully the SA will be signed soon.
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