How do I tell him itès time for him to leave

[DowntroddenDad]

Originally Posted by Sylvia13

Mess, although I am not looking forward to it will start the eviction process as soon as I speak to my lawyer this coming Monday. As I mentioned earlier, his children are behind me and one of his daughters will take him in temporarily under certain conditions. He will not have access to the internet, his job would be to look for a place to live. Yes, he is a gamer, plays his computer games from morning till he goes to bed. I knew that he was a gamer but things were OK until about 2 years ago. Yes, I am partly to blame for not nipping this in the head earlier but I thought I was making him happy which in turn made me my friends and family very unhappy.

Like I said, not looking forward to the eviction, but must do what I must do.

I've been a gamer, though not to that extent. I used to play a couple of hours a day, was part of a clan, occasionally competed.

Its not up to you to nip it in the bud, its up to him to realize that it isn't a subsititute for real life. For me it was an escape. It doesn't do anything to address the real problem.

[caranna]

Sylvia,

With aid of my lawyer, my stbx was out of the house within 30 days. I'm now in the process of getting the house ready for market and will have a new place to live.

Try not to look back and think of what should have been...it's all in the past. You are doing the right things now, and will be establishing a new life. That is what matters. Keep your eyes on the future. It will be a good one if you will be strong and not allow someone else to dictate what you think or how you feel about yourself.

Find positive people who will encourage you. There will always be negative people who will be there to plant negative seed if you let them. Don't make yourself available for that. Stand up for yourself and don't waste any energy on people who would try to steal your self-confidence.

I promise you an new and fulfilling life awaits you. I am living my new life now, and it is wonderful!

[Sylvia13]

DTD, I have nothing against people getting stress relief by playing a couple of hours. Unbeknownst to me my partner was a gamer 20 years ago and I did not know till how many hours he played till about 2 years ago, should of been a red flag. His own daughter revealed to me about how much he played when he was still with his mother. Swear to God, he plays from morning till bed time, could be as much as 8 am till 3 am sometimes. His game which I did not mind so much was "Eve" but the one that really bothers me now because it is so loud is world of tanks, absolutely hate it!

Yes, up to him to nip it in the bud!

[Sylvia13]

Dear Caranna, God Bless you, it is earthy angels like you that give me flight! Your comments brought tears to my eyes.

I have lots of friends, neighbours and family that are 100% behind me, even his own children. Unfortunately I do not like confrontation and this is where I have to change and real soon to keep my sanity and and get him out of my house. You have such a way with words, you really made my day and have added fuel under me LOL.

Will keep you posted. I also wish you all the best in your future. I gave my heart to a user, not that I was in love with him, I think it was infatuation. I was married to my soulmate for 37 years, no children, we were the best of friends and all of a sudden he passed away, if I could have I would have died instead of him. Then found it terribly lonely after a year and that is where I made my first mistake by meeting my now partner. Lesson learned, never again!

Hugs.....Sylvia.

[Sylvia13]

Hi All,

Just an update, had a 15 minute telephone conversation with a lawyer and she confirmed that my partner is not entitled to anything. It has been a hard few days with lots of emotions on both of our parts. He spent a couple of days with one of his children out of town which did both of us some good to be seperated. Bottom line, he has found an apartment in the same building he lived in when we first met and will be moving at the end of September. In the meantime he will live with me, we are not yelling or screaming at each other, having meals together and sleeping apart.

I do not want to make enemies and hope that we will remain friends as I have grown very attached to his children and his grandchildren, all of which live out of town.

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and guidance, you do not know how much you have helped me. Also, with a 37 year marriage and the death of my husband it was a final loss but with almost a 6 year relationship it is very hard for me to accept, I feel so guilty because I was the one that initiated it. But I know that he is a user, whatever made him that way in his past, I do not know, but so sad, he is missing out on so much as his family and friends know it. Otherwise he is a good person but am not sure if he learned anything from this very important lesson, I hope so.

God Bless and wish all the best for all of you......Sylvia.