CP Demands That NCP Pay Extra To See Child On Court-Ordered Days - Any Advice?

[#1StepMom]

Originally Posted by billiechic

Standing, she was referring to me. She is claiming that I have called her names when I did not. I have sent PMs to her to address the problem, and then she posts misinformation about what I wrote to her. THat is not right, and certainly untrue.

For this reason I am going to post the PMs that I sent to her. I will not post her responses though. I know it is probably against the rules of this forum, so I may be banned. I don't care. I have PMed both Jeff and LV asking them to intervene and have not recieved much help. Not even a PM explaining what I have done wrong here.

This woman is slandering me and using every post I make against me, all because I posted that women who aren't abused should not use services at womens shelters because they are meant for abused women. She is taking all of this way too personally. I am not the only person fed up with her behaviour. If I have to take the punishment, so be it.

Billiechic.... just ignore the problem. Don't respond, don't communicate, don't get dragged into it. End it now, and call it a day. Save yourself your sanity. No need to explain yourself or defend yourself. We can all read all the posts.

[billiechic]

Originally Posted by #1StepMom

Billiechic.... just ignore the problem. Don't respond, don't communicate, don't get dragged into it. End it now, and call it a day. Save yourself your sanity. No need to explain yourself or defend yourself. We can all read all the posts.

I will ignore her from now on. I felt I needed to clear my name. But no worries, It takes a lot more than that to upset me!!!

[billiechic]

#1Stepmom,

Sorry your thread was hijacked. Please update us ASAP.

[#1StepMom]

There really isn't much to update.

My husband sent my stepson's mom a very brief and to-the-point email the other day letting her know that he consulted with a lawyer who confirmed that daycare is a shared total expense, and that he will not be tolerating any further extortion tactics from her. He wrote exactly what the court order states with regard to holiday access, travel consent, and daycare fees, and told her that he is abiding by the order, and that he expects her to do the same.

She called and left a voicemail while we were out today saying that she will not tolerate his intimidation tactics, about how he talked to a lawyer, and how he expects her to abide by the court order, yadda yadda yadda. She didn't address the issue in any way other than "I will only discuss it if you stop being aggressive and intimidating." My husband was in no way aggressive or intimitating. He was very factual in his email, and to the point. Perhaps a little blunt, but having told her the same in more flowery language before hasn't worked, so he tried bluntly stating the facts as they are. So now she's calling him hostile and aggressive.

He responded to her voicemail in an email restating the facts in a more sugar-coated way and letting her know that if she has issues with how daycare costs are shared in the court order, she needs to take the appropriate action and file a motion to change with the court, and not use extortion tactics to get her way.

He also asked that she provide written confirmation with regards to whether or not she will follow their agreed-upon schedule and whether or not she'll provide the travel consent, as per the court order.

If she doesn't intend to follow the schedule and provide the consent, he asked that she notify him in writing of her reasons.

He made it clear that he will not be discussing this issue without proper legal documentation (i.e. her filing the necessary motion to revisit the sharing of daycare costs, and him responding to the motion) as he is in no way in disagreement with the court order; only she is.

He set a deadline for her to respond in writing (this coming Tuesday) so hopefully we'll get some sort of answer from her by then.

If not, he added in his email that if he doesn't receive a written response, he will assume that she will be following the holiday schedule and providing the travel consent.

So now, we wait to see if she responds in writing... because her last few voicemails have provided us with zero information as to her intentions.

[Mess]

I think you did great! Now at the risk of jinxing your vacation, if she doesn't co-operate you should take her to small claims court for any costs incurred for the plane tickets etc.

[independentgal]

Oooh... she doesn't like that your husband has dug his heels in. Her old tactics aren't working this Christmas, like they did in previous years. You are giving her an education this holiday season, I hope for your sake she learns her lesson this time! LOL

She is already wavering from her tough stance. I had a feeling she was all bluff about this. She is just trying to control him.

Good for him for laying the facts on the line. She is getting defensive because she had no legitimate reason for denying access and she knows it.

[billiechic]

I think Independant is right! you guys have given in to her before, and she is going to keep doing this until you show her it won't work. I know it sucks, but I really hope this works.

[#1StepMom]

Thank you so much for your support during this stressful time.

Believe it or not, we received a written reply!

She has proposed the following:

We pay her the 100% of the daycare fees associated with our vacation, and she will follow the agreed-upon schedule and provide travel consent. She will bring a motion to change the daycare provision, to be heard at our February conference. If she fails in her motion and the judge rules that her interpretation of the court-ordered daycare provision is incorrect, she will reimburse us 50% of the daycare fees we paid her to exercise our Christmas holiday access.

What do you think?

Should we accept the offer?

I'm thinking perhaps we should beat her at her own game by accepting her offer and filing a notice of contempt motion against her ASAP in the New Year. (Or would you suggest we wait her to file the motion to change the court-ordered daycare provision, as she claims she intends to do?)

Any thoughts? Please help. Ideas, suggestions, anything!

[standing on the sidelines]

if you accept her offer then would she really be in contemp because you agreeded to it??

[frustrated11]

contempt...she has been blackmailing you guys since the begining, says this is an on-going issue and provide all the emails where it started (even from back in the day)