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How does one keep motivated....lost my case today

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  • #16
    Thank Arabian. I see your point, I should have not booked it and thought that a judge would see it as you know what she violated it and therefore you are entitled to it, but seeing it from two wrongs don't make a right so I don't care if she violated it, this is about process.

    So my recourse then is to get make up time for the 2nd week she took and go through the proper channels?

    Like you said it just really depends on the judge eh.
    Last edited by FirstTimer; 11-27-2015, 10:39 AM.

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    • #17
      "You: Dear Judge, I want to take two vacations because my ex wiped her a*s with your order, and now I want to do that too."
      Did you really expect anything different than what you got??

      Your ex might hate you, hopefully she doesn't hate the kid. So ask her nicely: "Kiddo saw a movie about ... and would really like to go to see it. I can take him there if you are OK with his wish, and it would be hard to explain to him that mommy screws his vacation if not. In return I'll agree to your future vacation plans."

      It sounds like you two are busy with screwing each other and the kid is just a puppet in your games.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by FirstTimer View Post
        Thank Arabian. I see your point, I should have not booked it and thought that a judge would see it as you know what she violated it and therefore you are entitled to it, but seeing it from two wrongs don't make a right so I don't care if she violated it, this is about process.

        So my recourse then is to get make up time for the 2nd week she took and go through the proper channels?

        Like you said it just really depends on the judge eh.
        Yeah I think the "adult" way is to talk about make-up time. 2016 is only a month away, perhaps you can tack on the extra vacation time with Easter activities or next year's vacation?

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        • #19
          Did you not say you have the child 70% of the time? So she took an extra week. Is that such a big deal that you need makeup time?

          Also if this child is 41/2 then should the child not be in school. Why did you boom a vacation during school time. if you want to go on a vacation during,school year I am sure mom would look after child. Or rebook vacation for January 2016.

          Seems you are your own worst enemy on this one. I would advise against going to court about this. Waste of court time.

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          • #20
            While it is unfortunate that your ex would not agree to the vacation, I think you erred in booking the trip prior to obtaining consent, knowing that you could not back it up with the order.

            it's great that you consented to her second vacation, especially as you have the majority time, but she was under no obligation to return the favour, although it does seem unfair that it only worked one way. I guess now you know that you will have to work within the order for your time.

            Just try not to allow it to stop your consent for any extra time with your ex if it is something your child would benefit from.

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            • #21
              Yeah, these are one of those lessons where you learn fairness and court process are not the same thing.

              For the vacation, I did try to book it over the Christmas which she wanted to spend Christmas with him too so I moved it. In terms of school, I asked if he could miss school and I would bring activity sheets for him which our school was fine with. *Montesorri*

              Yeah, I'm starting to see the other point of view now. As a poster said, she took that extra vacation and I thought she would extend the same courtesy but she didn't.

              I've seen a couple judges have some leeway, okay I understand the situation. I for one don't try to screw with court orders.



              Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
              Did you not say you have the child 70% of the time? So she took an extra week. Is that such a big deal that you need makeup time?

              Also if this child is 41/2 then should the child not be in school. Why did you boom a vacation during school time. if you want to go on a vacation during,school year I am sure mom would look after child. Or rebook vacation for January 2016.

              Seems you are your own worst enemy on this one. I would advise against going to court about this. Waste of court time.

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              • #22
                I wouldn't even be going after make up time. If you did not request it when she requested the vacation, that ship has sailed. You have 70% of the time with your child, so Mom having an extra week really means little. You now know not to agree to a second vacation or if you do, get make up time AHEAD of her vacation, and do not book your vacation until you have a consent letter signed.

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                • #23
                  Hi everyone, thanks for the keeping this on the straight and narrow. This is why this forum is so awesome, you hear everyone's perspective and it was golden.

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                  • #24
                    It sounds as though your ex is just being vindictive even though the vacation would benefit her child. I would have everything set in place prior to making plans. Vindictive ex's like to ruin plans.

                    Sent from my SGH-I337M using Tapatalk

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by polly4 View Post
                      It sounds as though your ex is just being vindictive even though the vacation would benefit her child. I would have everything set in place prior to making plans. Vindictive ex's like to ruin plans.

                      Sent from my SGH-I337M using Tapatalk
                      Vindictive? She only has 30% of the time. Is there a reason for that? Why not 50/50. Do you live a great distance from each other.

                      I found your comment about Christmas offhand. As though you were surprised she should want to spend sometime at Christmas.

                      We do not know all the facts, so I can only respond given the facts presented.

                      You have child 70% of the time, so Mom snuck in An extra week. Good for her IMO.

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                      • #26
                        ^^ all of THAT, Ditto.
                        Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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                        • #27
                          If he had a vacation lined up for kids and mom wasn't willing to give him the extra week or at least switch weeks/time with him, that is a dick move by the mom - 30% or not. Kids suffer, way to go mom!

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                          • #28
                            That's my point exactly and if your not a vindictive ex or don't deal with one you have no idea what that's all about.

                            Sent from my SGH-I337M using Tapatalk

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                            • #29
                              Vindictive - seeking revenge.

                              I think lots of forum members have experience in that area of behaviour. But We cannot judge anyones behaviour because we donot know the full circumstances. Maybe she was screwed over on the 70/ 30 split so is not inclined to be generous with her ex.

                              It would seem she asked for an extra week and he did not object. She has no obligation to return the favour.

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
                                Vindictive - seeking revenge.

                                I think lots of forum members have experience in that area of behaviour. But We cannot judge anyones behaviour because we donot know the full circumstances. Maybe she was screwed over on the 70/ 30 split so is not inclined to be generous with her ex.

                                It would seem she asked for an extra week and he did not object. She has no obligation to return the favour.
                                Practically speaking the kids lost out on a one week sunny vacation.... If the kids were old enough they would tell the parent to stuff it and go on the vacation.

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