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Humorous things that happened during your divorce

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  • Humorous things that happened during your divorce

    My son and I were recalling a very funny incident that took place during the period when my husband and I were in the worst part of our separation/divorce. I thought some humor would be refreshing for those who are going through the "uglies."

    A few months after my ex and I separated he had to come to the house for some documents. We had an appointment at the bank afterwards. At this time I had changed the security codes on the house and he had to call first and then ring the doorbell; he certainly was not able to simply walk into the home. We had been separated for approximately 2 months at the time.

    We have 2 old cats. One cat was my ex's. The day my ex came over to pick up the papers he came in as usual and left his shoes at the front door. Within minutes we were in a huge argument and my ex quickly left with the understanding we would meet up at the bank. I went to the bank and while we were standing in line to go to the teller I recall smelling something pretty bad. I thought little of it at the time as I was still steaming mad at him. We met with the banker and then went our separate ways.

    When I got home I went to the front door and I immediately observed that ther was cat shit on the front rug. I put 2 + 2 together and realized that the cat had shit in his shoes when he was at the house and the terrible smell at the bank was from the cat shit on my ex's shoes!!!! The cat was obviously distressed and angry with him for not being around for so long.


    I still laugh over that.

  • #2
    Another funny thing was the first time my ex and I were in court I noticed he and his girlfriend had the identical color hair. They must have shared the hair dye!!!! Picture a 60 yr old man who is naturally blonde-grey with hair dyed dark reddish brown. Hillarious!!!

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    • #3
      This happened after the separation but before the divorce.
      I was paying SS but no CS because daughter had decided to live with me.
      She got a job so SS was cancelled. I was clicking my heels.
      She asked for a meeting at a Starbucks and I agreed. It was winter. She slipped off her coat and yikes, she was wearing a see-through blouse. She then announced that she had been fired from the job and needed SS again. I wrote the cheque.
      I figured that she wanted to avoid going through her parasitic lawyer. Actually I wanted to avoid mine too.

      I left the shop, LMFAO

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      • #4
        We were in court for a motion. Both parties were self representing. I stood up and did my best to argue why my ex should contribute towards special section seven expenses. My ex stood up 20 minutes later and walked over to the podium. He struggled to adjust the microphone down to his level. (My ex is of a shorter stature). It was either stuck or had gone down as far as it could. He could barely be seen behind the podium. Had the issue in front of the court not been so serious, I would have had a hard time holding it together. To move matters along, the Judge suggested my ex may feel more comfortable sitting and speaking from the table instead.

        The sad thing is we wouldn't have been in court that day had my ex made some/any effort to settle outside court. But given he is very stubborn by nature and convinced that he is always right, he had to have "his day" in court.

        We are heading back into court on the same issue this summer. Again ex is refusing to enter into any level of discussion so that we can avoid court.

        Maybe he'll bring something to stand on this time. I know I'll be wearing my heels.
        Last edited by Nadia; 05-29-2012, 10:20 PM.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Nadia View Post
          We were in court for a motion. Both parties were self representing. I stood up and did my best to argue why my ex should contribute towards special section seven expenses. My ex stood up 20 minutes later and walked over to the podium. He struggled to adjust the microphone down to his level. (My ex is of a shorter stature). It was either stuck or had gone down as far as it could. He could barely be seen behind the podium. Had the issue in front of the court not been so serious, I would have had a hard time holding it together. To move matters along, the Judge suggested my ex may feel more comfortable sitting and speaking from the table instead.

          The sad thing is we wouldn't have been in court that day had my ex made some/any effort to settle outside court. But given he is very stubborn by nature and convinced that he is always right, he had to have "his day" in court.

          We are heading back into court on the same issue this summer. Again ex is refusing to enter into any level of discussion so that we can avoid court.

          Maybe he'll bring something to stand on this time. I know I'll be wearing my heels.
          That was amusing? He's short? Wasn't he short when you married him? Was he supposed to get taller? You are a fool.
          Last edited by FreeNow; 05-29-2012, 11:00 PM. Reason: more thoughts

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          • #6
            FreeNow: Yup, you'd have to be there.

            Picture someone who is head strong on not settling and determined to litigate on every piece. Lets everything drag on for months and refuses to settle. Finally has his day in court and then can't even reach the damn podium or microphone to speak.

            You'd also have to know my ex...a little. He considers himself very important and some may even say famous. He gets awfully offended if you don't recognize him as important and thank him for allowing you to be in his company. Forget to ask him for his autograph, and he already hates you.

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            • #7
              My apologies if I offended you in any way FreeNow.

              Nadia

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              • #8
                I can totally see the humour Nadia. As anyone on here would agree, you always provide this forum with an intelligent and eloquent way of expressing yourself. I can think of a few stories, but picture this: EX had a new gf (now his wife). I had just left one of my 1st lawyer appointments that day, still blissfully unaware of the hell coming my way. I was enjoying my freedom, dating a couple of men - just getting out. EX and his gf did not live in my area. I parked in a strip plaza. I thought I saw his car but there were a lot of cars like his and same color (I didn't know his plate #) - so I dismissed it, thought "it can't be his car." So I walk into an adult (novelty) store, and low and behold, who is walking out?? Those two. OMG I laughed to myself and thought, "grrreat, I was by myself" - I can imagine the comments they made to one another) _ but yes, that was funny. We walked RIGHT past eachother. They saw me, I saw them. What are the CHANCES?? Lol.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Nadia View Post
                  I know I'll be wearing my heels.
                  This part made me LOL! I see the humor in it.

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                  • #10
                    lol Nadia. As I'm 5'10 myself, I found your post amusing.

                    Short, teeny men with Napolean syndrome crack me up.

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                    • #11
                      Women are so lucky they can wear heels. Nice to GET RID of them too though lol.

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                      • #12
                        lol...I like wearing them with my new partner...he's taller than my stbx was (and more handsome, kind, and attentive).

                        Its always amusing when you're going through a divorce...get away from your stbx for a while then see them somewhere and get that "Ugh, what the hell was I thinking???!!???" feeling.

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                        • #13
                          PH: I meant HEELS as in the MEN, lol. I'm 5'3, but look out when I put the heels on. Woo-hoo

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                          • #14
                            Funny things I have witnessed in court:

                            1. Parents passing out when they are getting the truth told to them by a judge on how the "best interests" tests work.

                            2. Parents calling the other parent a "satanist".

                            3. Allegations that the parent abducted children because they didn't know what else to do and had anxieties that the other parent had "guns and bombs" in the house.

                            4. Allegations that the children were abused but, could not sight dates, times, police involvement, cas involvement or anything.

                            6. Over anxious parents having lawyers hurl all kinds of wild allegations on oral arguments. Honestly, one would think that affidavit material has the worst of the worst but, the oral arguments some negative advocate solicitors present are even better.

                            7. Negative advocate solicitors who are so unprepared for a motion that their own argument over the 10-20 minutes it takes for them to say anything relevant contradict their own points. Watching the judge point out the inaccuracy in the other lawyer's own oral argument.

                            8. Watching a judge label a lawyer and their client as "paranoid" and then re-writing a final order and fixing all the grammatical mistakes and other inaccuracies.

                            9. Watching a judge lambaste grandparents who think they have a say in custody and access disputes.

                            10. Watching a judge tell a litigant, while their counsel is standing there, to hire a new lawyer.

                            11. Watching a judge roll their eyes at someone's "dream job" and telling them that the court expects them to work at a real job that makes money and can support their children.

                            12. Watching a laywer try to argue why the filed a motion in the wrong jurisdiction.

                            13. Watching a lawyer try to accuse another lawyer for miss conduct on the file and then having the communication in question provided to the judge and the judge siding with the other lawyer and re-writing the order.

                            14. Watching costs be awarded against a negative advocate solicitor who doesn't read their governing bodies' rules and regulations.

                            Good Luck!
                            Tayken

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                            • #15
                              LOL! I love #2 and #10!

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