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  • unfit mother afraid for my kids future

    hi i'm a father from Quebec. me and my ex broke up about a year ago i left her the kids because i thought every child need's there mother, but over the last year things have gotten really bad.

    my older son missed a lot of school she was beating the kids having all kinds of guys over to the house. she let the kids run the streets unsupervised until 11:00 and night.then all of a sudden she moved giving me 1 day notice to a new place that's close to 100km away where i could no longer watch over them and make sure they were safe my boys are 5 and 11 so 3 months ago i decided when i picked up the kids on one of my weekends that i would keep them with me and not send them back to her.

    she took me to court for an emergency removal she lost BUT her lies got her visitation on the weekend. we are returning to court in 3 weeks for temp custody i have tons of prof to show that she is an unfit mother pic's,texts, witnesses,

    for the year she had them i always paid child support and took the kids all the time but after i took the kids from her she quite her job and is hiding behind welfare so she hasn't given me one cent for the kids and has kept the family allowance checks.

    what i'm worried about is that because i'm a father in Quebec and because she does nothing but lie will my prof be enough to win in 3 weeks

    does anyone have any tips or hints that can help ?
    thank you.

  • #2
    Evidence is your friend. Show the court that the children are thriving with you both socially and with their education. You remained in their familiar location so that is good for you.

    Have witnesses (teachers, doctors etc) speak that the children are thriving and bring your journal on your time with the kids.

    If she lies, she lies. Don't get too worked up about any one lie in particular and make a blanket statement that her accusations are unfounded and provide your evidence as to why.

    Regarding her income, if she had a job and quit, you request the court to impute an income to her equal to what she is capable of earning. Bring in job posting for similar positions in the region to give evidence that there is work for her in her field. Then request that the courts determine c/s equal to the guideline amount for what she could be making.

    The most important issue is what is in the kids best interests. If you can go in and show the courts that it is in the best interests the kids stay with you because:

    1. they are thriving in school, their attendance and grades have improved
    2. you didn't leave their familiar location, thus are able to reconnect with their existing friends and family;
    3. you are willing and able to work with your ex to provide a comprehensive parenting schedule and will include the ex in all major decisions relating to the kids; and
    4. the children have been with you for some time and that status quo should continue.

    There could be more that is the jist of it.

    But if you go in the prove her lies, you are already one step behind. Go in their and show the courts you have your kids best interests in mind, the kids are doing better with you and that changing status quo is not in their best interests.

    Comment


    • #3
      thank you for your response

      she told me as well she will not find a job because she is with a new bf and she is trying to get pregnant with him so she will stay on welfare until she gets pregnant then she will try an get maternity leave.

      i pay for my lawyer and she has legal aid so she told me she will fire her lawyer and get a new one just to delay the case and that she would keep doing it until i run out of money.

      if the kids are sent back to her they will have no chance at any kind of a normal stable life

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by afraid View Post
        thank you for your response

        she told me as well she will not find a job because she is with a new bf and she is trying to get pregnant with him so she will stay on welfare until she gets pregnant then she will try an get maternity leave.

        i pay for my lawyer and she has legal aid so she told me she will fire her lawyer and get a new one just to delay the case and that she would keep doing it until i run out of money.

        if the kids are sent back to her they will have no chance at any kind of a normal stable life
        I hope you are solely communicating with her via email because both those nuggets are GOLD!!!

        Comment


        • #5
          I hope she told you all those things in an email you can use in court! If not, stop talking to her and start communication only by email so you get these nice juicy statements.

          She cannot not work to support herself and her children. You can use her welfare as her income, or impute one to her based on her boyfriend supporting her, to determine her child support obligation. And what does she think she's going to get maternity leave from, if she doesn't have employment??

          A documented claim that she intends to delay the case till you run out of money is great ammunition for you. And also, delays will help you build status quo that the kids live primarily with you. You'll just have to do your best to minimize your legal costs; can you self-represent for a lot of the appearances? Use your lawyer for the first few of her delays, then do it yourself after you understand the process.

          But overall, you need to demonstrate not that she's a bad parent, but that you are the better parent. Do this by providing positive proof on your side more than you provide negative proof on her side. Use the negative proof to refute any claims she might make about her own parenting.

          Comment


          • #6
            i have a lot of texts and pic's of the nasty lifestyle she lived with the kids and hand marks on there body's that i have saved and gave to my lawyer. but are texts accepted in court ? i am worried that because the judge is a woman and my ex will surely play the victim and in Quebec only 9% of fathers have custody it worry's me a lot that it wont be enough. even if it looks good and i cant see how i could lose

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            • #7
              the judge asked me why i let the kids stay with her for a year if it was so bad and that i must of been ok with it. the thing was it wasn't bad when i left it was something that slowly grew and i spoke to her many times about how i wasn't happy with what was happening and she promised to change but she never did.
              she put her bf's first and her kids dead last

              Comment


              • #8
                File for the CCTB, you don't need her signature to do that. That way YOU will get the family allowance AND she'll have to pay back the monies she received fraudulently.

                Comment


                • #9
                  If you think the kids are being physically abused and there are marks to prove it then you have an obligation to call the children's aid. By not reporting abuse you can be seen by a judge as being negligent as well.

                  If your kids are being hit, report it and show the proof of the abuse to cas.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I have reported her to children's aid and they are investigating. There is a file open

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Agree with HammerDad - email is gold!

                      I was given advice many years ago - YOU CAN'T RATIONALIZE WITH AN IRRATIONAL PERSON. Don't get sucked into the disputes.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        thank you all for the helpful responses

                        other then the kids telling me she hit them i have a pic of my sons back with a hand print on his skin that was the day i took them and didn't send them back.other then that she was very verbally abusive saying the worse things you could ever think of to our kids and she sayes she loves them. wtv.

                        Comment

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