Hi everybody
I just wanted to see what other people who have 50/50 would think about this.
My kids are usually in at least one extra-curricular per school year. Usually each of us puts the kids in one thing on their own time (we have the same days of the week every week, not week-on, week-off). If they want to be in something on the weekends we agree on it (I always ask him before signing them up in anything and make it clear to the kids both parents have to agree.)
I pay for the activities myself that are on on my time and the weekend activities (he should be also paying but that's another story).
I know my kids have a limit on how much they can do with homework etc. (they are 8 and 11).
Lately my in-laws have been getting involved in this. They only met the kids last year (long story, my ex was feuding with them.)
They (BIL and SIL) are older with no kids of their own and no experience with
kids in the house. They want to put the kids in A LOT of activities because they have lots of money and they think that's what kids should do. Last year this impacted on my son's grades and I had to be the "homework" parent. There was no consultation with me whatsoever, just, "we signed him up for xyz and he's going". I always ask my ex first, even if it's on my time, because I know it can impact his time and it's just common courtesy I think.
Ex just does whatever they say because they give him money, he doesn't have to pay and they take the kids most of the time. (Although he did get mad last year at one point because he wasn't seeing enough of the kids - but not mad enough to tell them it was too much).
FF to this year and I get a call saying my daughter is signed up for something and it's 3 times a week, one of them is my night, and one is Saturday. So now I cannot sign my daughter up for what I wanted to do with her because I don't really think she should be out 4- 5 nights a week at 8 years old. There was absolutely no consultation at all, just "she's signed up "and she has to go. I told my ex I thought they should have talked to me 1st (especially as I already knew of a class doing the same thing, 1 night a week, cheaper and on his night). He gat downright nasty about it and basically said they can do what they want if they're paying (I wonder sometimes where he would draw the line on that.
I think this is unfair and no we don't have signed agreement but we do have a draft agreement (which my ex holds me to at his convenience) which clearly states that we sign them up for stuff on our own time and otherwise must consult. What do you guys/gals think? Should I email them about this?
If so, how should I word this?
I just wanted to see what other people who have 50/50 would think about this.
My kids are usually in at least one extra-curricular per school year. Usually each of us puts the kids in one thing on their own time (we have the same days of the week every week, not week-on, week-off). If they want to be in something on the weekends we agree on it (I always ask him before signing them up in anything and make it clear to the kids both parents have to agree.)
I pay for the activities myself that are on on my time and the weekend activities (he should be also paying but that's another story).
I know my kids have a limit on how much they can do with homework etc. (they are 8 and 11).
Lately my in-laws have been getting involved in this. They only met the kids last year (long story, my ex was feuding with them.)
They (BIL and SIL) are older with no kids of their own and no experience with
kids in the house. They want to put the kids in A LOT of activities because they have lots of money and they think that's what kids should do. Last year this impacted on my son's grades and I had to be the "homework" parent. There was no consultation with me whatsoever, just, "we signed him up for xyz and he's going". I always ask my ex first, even if it's on my time, because I know it can impact his time and it's just common courtesy I think.
Ex just does whatever they say because they give him money, he doesn't have to pay and they take the kids most of the time. (Although he did get mad last year at one point because he wasn't seeing enough of the kids - but not mad enough to tell them it was too much).
FF to this year and I get a call saying my daughter is signed up for something and it's 3 times a week, one of them is my night, and one is Saturday. So now I cannot sign my daughter up for what I wanted to do with her because I don't really think she should be out 4- 5 nights a week at 8 years old. There was absolutely no consultation at all, just "she's signed up "and she has to go. I told my ex I thought they should have talked to me 1st (especially as I already knew of a class doing the same thing, 1 night a week, cheaper and on his night). He gat downright nasty about it and basically said they can do what they want if they're paying (I wonder sometimes where he would draw the line on that.
I think this is unfair and no we don't have signed agreement but we do have a draft agreement (which my ex holds me to at his convenience) which clearly states that we sign them up for stuff on our own time and otherwise must consult. What do you guys/gals think? Should I email them about this?
If so, how should I word this?
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