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  • Your Bet - How long until...

    So this week my Ex is moving, yet again. Fourth time in as many years if I recall correctly. Doesn't really bother or affect me, as I'm not required, or asked, to help her move, and its all within the same small city of 25,000 people, so distance isn't an issue.

    However, our eight year old son is quite apprehensive about this move, as according to him and his six year old sister, the new place is only a two bedroom apartment, and they will apparently be sharing a bed with each other.

    Our kids are pretty opposite of each other, simplest descriptors would just be to label my son as an introvert and my daughter as an extrovert. They get along, but as with most siblings, they get along together best when its in small doses, and they have the ability to get away from one another if desired.

    I've never been under any illusions, and had previous to this week figured that eventually the kids would start angling to live exclusively with one parent or the other, likely in their mid teenager years, and it would be to opt for the parent who lets them get away with more, more than likely their Mother as she's not big on discipline or routine. Now with this latest move of hers, I'm anticipating its going to occur much much sooner than I had expected, likely within a few weeks or months at the latest. I'm really not looking forward to having to force one or both of them to go over every other week.

    So what would be your bet as to how long it'll be before this move starts effecting the kids desire to spend time at their mothers? Or based on your own experiences do you think they'll manage to adapt it, and not have any major complaints?

  • #2
    Do they have their own bedrooms now ? How frequent has she moved? Is this move likely to lead into another move? There is case law on frequent moves by a parent and how they are not in a child's best interests.

    Why is a boy and a girl going to be sharing the same bedroom? Do you have a separate bedroom for them at your house?

    Don't just assume they will want to go with mom because mom is not big on discipline or routine. Kill the kids with kindness and be their safe haven.

    You may be able to justify her move as a material change if it starts to effects the kids. So keep a close eye in any changes in behavior, marks (report cards), etc. and keep in close touch with teachers, doctors, etc.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by trinton View Post
      Do they have their own bedrooms now ? How frequent has she moved? Is this move likely to lead into another move? There is case law on frequent moves by a parent and how they are not in a child's best interests.
      They had their own bedrooms in her own place, and they have always had their own room at mine. Moves are pretty much yearly.


      Originally posted by trinton View Post
      Why is a boy and a girl going to be sharing the same bedroom? Do you have a separate bedroom for them at your house?
      I would only be guessing to answer the reason why. The guess would be that its to keep costs down, in our city, and these buildings specifically you save about 100-150 a month for a 2 bedroom as opposed to a 3 bed.


      Originally posted by trinton View Post
      Don't just assume they will want to go with mom because mom is not big on discipline or routine. Kill the kids with kindness and be their safe haven.

      You may be able to justify her move as a material change if it starts to effects the kids. So keep a close eye in any changes in behavior, marks (report cards), etc. and keep in close touch with teachers, doctors, etc.
      I'm not really looking at the court angle at all. If there's a ridiculous slide in marks/behaviour, I will then have to actually approach her about the subject, and hunker down to endure the rage and crazy that would come from her feeling judged on her parenting. Once that calms, if there is no change, or solutions being looked at by her, then I may have to look at court. It is however a last resort.

      Comment

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