Hello:
I'm the woman who posted the thread below.
https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/...archid=1586821
For some reason, I cannot log into my old account but I would like to share the second chapter of my story (Because I know that I'm not alone).
First, I want to thank EVERY person who commented in that last thread. THANK YOU ! You gave me the strength to do what I thought I couldn't do -Leave and call the police!! The police were useless, but I told my story. I can no longer be extorted or abuse because the entire story is out and my freedom is worth it.
1. I left the matrimonial home 8 mths ago, and checked into a shelter, and then moved to another province (I'm assuming Tayken will be in here to rip me a new one, now)
But this is my life. And I have a duty to protect my life and children. My last straw was when he said he would kill me and the girls if we left him. I left the next day. No regrets!
We went for 5 1/2 half months without hearing from him. And for the first time in a long time, we finally felt safe, and our home life was peaceful.
The EX said he and we would go to counseling if we came back. I just asked him to get some help, and for the contact details to his family lawyer (mind you, he's a lawyer himself).. He refused to hand it over but He tried to be nice at first but went back to his old self eventually.
2. I went to police shortly after I left, it took them 7 months to "lay charges" and the detect called me on several occasions to let me know that he felt that I should have just left. He even told the witnesses he spoke to. Again, the police were NOT on the objective side of the law. The charges were dropped few weeks ago.
3. During the time that I waited for the police's investigation to be completed, I went to counseling, started working and going to school, got the children settled into school, and waiting for my EX to take action.
I consulted with a lawyer and she advised me to wait as long as possible to file.
4. I finally filed (Parenting Order, EPO) and within my new jurisdiction in February but 3 days later I discovered that my EX has started proceedings a few weeks prior and pretended to serve me.
He sent a registered letter to himself (his address), lied about serving me via email, and finally, he sent fake emails in as evidence.
5. When I served him he obtained an endorsement letter from the courts forcing me to return to Ontario.
The problem was that 98% of the allegations/reasons she based her decision upon was inaccurate. Her letter indicated that I called the police in February in retaliation to the court proceedings, she believes I was already aware of.
They believe that I moved/ traveled after I was served in February. Also, untrue. They're also refusing to let go of Ontario's jurisdiction but acknowledges that BOTH courts have jurisdiction.
Then she states that she's not willing to grant him custody. She states that if he was so concerned he should have taken action a long time ago.
6. The courts in my jurisdiction made it a priority for me to serve him so his voice could be heard -They made is clear that even if he calls in, they wanted his side of the story. The courts in Ontario refused to afford me that same opportunity. When I called or tried to file, the clerks and the judicial secretary advised me that I was not permitted to call in. "You must return to Ontario".
7. The problem with this is the Judge in Ontario consulted with me a few years ago, when they were a lawyer. I asked them (when they were a lawyer) for help in order to get out of my situation. I did not retain them, but I did share details related to the charges.
8. This judge has since decided that they would recuse themselves but wanted to be a part of the process to "guide the "other" Judges" decision and changed their month 48 hours later. Yes, they are no longer recusing themselves.
AND They advised us that they would be testifying in the Criminal case as well.
9. This Judge also called into the hearings that took place in my jurisdiction (my EX was present, he flew in) They kept interrupting, and advocating for my EX..They knew all of his argument and kept interjecting to say "Well in Ontario we do it this way" . "let me teach you how we do things in Ontario"
10. It was a circus. I know.
11. There will be a jurisdiction hearing that my lawyer tells me I'm going to lose. The Ex denies being abusive but, I maintained records and videos of the things he's done. But I'm guessing that's not enough to keep us where we are. Both judges are insisting on supervised visits, which he rejects, me to chose a friend or another person to monitor interactions instead. He also wants sole custody.
(During the time we've been gone he obtain my driving records, and testimony from my former employers, he even reached out to my employment lawyer from a year ago (my former boss gave him the contact details) I'm shocked that this stuff was event accepted as evidence without any question.)
12. I've asked my youngest to call him. So far she's called 28 times over the past month and he's refusing to answer her calls. She leaves voicemails as well.
13. Mediation has been suggested but he's not cooperating.
14. An order has been made for our daughter to have a lawyer (She does not want to go back there)
This is tough and many mistakes were made, I just can't go back there and live my life in fear of this man. I know I'm not alone, and I know I should have asked for permission or even stayed but ..who's there to protect us? As stupid as it sounds, I needed to be somewhere I had friends and ppl around me who cared about us so that I could recover and regroup. Dealing with people who are fundamentally exploitative drains your soul on so many levels.
Your thoughts?
I'm the woman who posted the thread below.
https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/...archid=1586821
For some reason, I cannot log into my old account but I would like to share the second chapter of my story (Because I know that I'm not alone).
First, I want to thank EVERY person who commented in that last thread. THANK YOU ! You gave me the strength to do what I thought I couldn't do -Leave and call the police!! The police were useless, but I told my story. I can no longer be extorted or abuse because the entire story is out and my freedom is worth it.
1. I left the matrimonial home 8 mths ago, and checked into a shelter, and then moved to another province (I'm assuming Tayken will be in here to rip me a new one, now)
But this is my life. And I have a duty to protect my life and children. My last straw was when he said he would kill me and the girls if we left him. I left the next day. No regrets!
We went for 5 1/2 half months without hearing from him. And for the first time in a long time, we finally felt safe, and our home life was peaceful.
The EX said he and we would go to counseling if we came back. I just asked him to get some help, and for the contact details to his family lawyer (mind you, he's a lawyer himself).. He refused to hand it over but He tried to be nice at first but went back to his old self eventually.
2. I went to police shortly after I left, it took them 7 months to "lay charges" and the detect called me on several occasions to let me know that he felt that I should have just left. He even told the witnesses he spoke to. Again, the police were NOT on the objective side of the law. The charges were dropped few weeks ago.
3. During the time that I waited for the police's investigation to be completed, I went to counseling, started working and going to school, got the children settled into school, and waiting for my EX to take action.
I consulted with a lawyer and she advised me to wait as long as possible to file.
4. I finally filed (Parenting Order, EPO) and within my new jurisdiction in February but 3 days later I discovered that my EX has started proceedings a few weeks prior and pretended to serve me.
He sent a registered letter to himself (his address), lied about serving me via email, and finally, he sent fake emails in as evidence.
5. When I served him he obtained an endorsement letter from the courts forcing me to return to Ontario.
The problem was that 98% of the allegations/reasons she based her decision upon was inaccurate. Her letter indicated that I called the police in February in retaliation to the court proceedings, she believes I was already aware of.
They believe that I moved/ traveled after I was served in February. Also, untrue. They're also refusing to let go of Ontario's jurisdiction but acknowledges that BOTH courts have jurisdiction.
Then she states that she's not willing to grant him custody. She states that if he was so concerned he should have taken action a long time ago.
6. The courts in my jurisdiction made it a priority for me to serve him so his voice could be heard -They made is clear that even if he calls in, they wanted his side of the story. The courts in Ontario refused to afford me that same opportunity. When I called or tried to file, the clerks and the judicial secretary advised me that I was not permitted to call in. "You must return to Ontario".
7. The problem with this is the Judge in Ontario consulted with me a few years ago, when they were a lawyer. I asked them (when they were a lawyer) for help in order to get out of my situation. I did not retain them, but I did share details related to the charges.
8. This judge has since decided that they would recuse themselves but wanted to be a part of the process to "guide the "other" Judges" decision and changed their month 48 hours later. Yes, they are no longer recusing themselves.
AND They advised us that they would be testifying in the Criminal case as well.
9. This Judge also called into the hearings that took place in my jurisdiction (my EX was present, he flew in) They kept interrupting, and advocating for my EX..They knew all of his argument and kept interjecting to say "Well in Ontario we do it this way" . "let me teach you how we do things in Ontario"
10. It was a circus. I know.
11. There will be a jurisdiction hearing that my lawyer tells me I'm going to lose. The Ex denies being abusive but, I maintained records and videos of the things he's done. But I'm guessing that's not enough to keep us where we are. Both judges are insisting on supervised visits, which he rejects, me to chose a friend or another person to monitor interactions instead. He also wants sole custody.
(During the time we've been gone he obtain my driving records, and testimony from my former employers, he even reached out to my employment lawyer from a year ago (my former boss gave him the contact details) I'm shocked that this stuff was event accepted as evidence without any question.)
12. I've asked my youngest to call him. So far she's called 28 times over the past month and he's refusing to answer her calls. She leaves voicemails as well.
13. Mediation has been suggested but he's not cooperating.
14. An order has been made for our daughter to have a lawyer (She does not want to go back there)
This is tough and many mistakes were made, I just can't go back there and live my life in fear of this man. I know I'm not alone, and I know I should have asked for permission or even stayed but ..who's there to protect us? As stupid as it sounds, I needed to be somewhere I had friends and ppl around me who cared about us so that I could recover and regroup. Dealing with people who are fundamentally exploitative drains your soul on so many levels.
Your thoughts?
Comment