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  • #16
    Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
    It proves that the two of you cannot communicate and resolve day to day issues between yourselves without involving lawyers. You need to stop focusing on how to prove everything you feel she is doing wrong and instead focus on facilitatimg communication and resolving your issues.
    I take issue on "two of you" I did my due diligence. I sent an email. I didn't get a response meanwhile she was communicating other things with me. She communicates about what she wants and when she wants. She creates arguments for the sake of it and Is quite apparent she does it to oppose joint custody.

    I'm not trying to prove, matter of fact I dont need to, the onus is on her to prove we don't communicate. I'm trying to understand how she could reasonably argue we don't communicate by ignoring my email but asking for other things by text after having received the email.

    Either way I responded to the issue at hand, but the lawyers had to get involved before she would respond. She did respond after the lawyers got involved.
    Last edited by trinton; 12-15-2016, 10:21 PM.

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    • #17
      I agree with Blink and this is what I was trying to get you to think about.

      Your ex was trying to cover her ass. She has been scolded. Move on and in the future when you email, use the read-reply option and also indicate clearly on your email a date that you expect her reply by (make it reasonable). This way everyone is on the same page.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by trinton View Post
        I take issue on "two of you" I did my due diligence. I sent an email. I didn't get a response meanwhile she was communicating other things with me. She communicates about what she wants and when she wants.

        I'm not trying to prove, matter of fact I dont need to, the onus is on her to prove we don't communicate. I'm trying to understand how she could reasonably argue we don't communicate by ignoring my email but asking for other things by text after having received the email.

        Either way I responded to the issue at hand, but the lawyers had to get involved before she would respond. She did respond after the lawyers got involved.
        What on earth requires you to be emailing her so often?
        What is so urgent that requires a lawyer to be involved?

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        • #19
          Originally posted by arabian View Post
          What on earth requires you to be emailing her so often?
          What is so urgent that requires a lawyer to be involved?
          I don't email her often.

          We had an order that we both attend at passport office to get passport for child so I could travel (following the Christmas motion I won) she wouldn't communicate with me about my travel plans but communicated that the child can't be with me for one week. I was required to bring a motion.

          I sent email asking which day of the week she had some to go to passport office, I. E., Monday Tues or Wed would work? No response and I can't travel without passport. Lawyer had to get involved.

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          • #20
            holy shit - that's ridiculous.

            So what did your lawyer do to resolve the issue?

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            • #21
              Originally posted by arabian View Post
              holy shit - that's ridiculous.

              So what did your lawyer do to resolve the issue?
              Sent a letter saying shes not responding to me , saying that there is an order for me to travel and Threatened an emergency motion and significant costs as well as damages in the event I couldn't travel as a result of her behaviour - if the issue isn't resolved by this week. Except in nicer and friendlier terms but very firm.

              Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

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              • #22
                meanwhile you have to pay your lawyer for this... let me guess... she has legal aid? (can't remember).

                Next time you get an order done up your lawyer knows now to have all of these details in the order correct? No more agreeing to things until you THOROUGHLY review everything right? If you have to post it on here. I'm sure there are enough seasoned vets here who can point out shortfalls if your lawyer can't/won't.

                Hope you have a nice vacation and can, for a time, forget this crapola.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by arabian View Post
                  meanwhile you have to pay your lawyer for this... let me guess... she has legal aid? (can't remember).

                  Next time you get an order done up your lawyer knows now to have all of these details in the order correct? No more agreeing to things until you THOROUGHLY review everything right? If you have to post it on here. I'm sure there are enough seasoned vets here who can point out shortfalls if your lawyer can't/won't.

                  Hope you have a nice vacation and can, for a time, forget this crapola.
                  The only reason my lawyer let the order go as is was because she assured my lawyer that she would go with me - in front of her lawyer. Obviously she lied and lost credibility before not only her lawyer but my lawyer. Her assurance in front of my lawyer was mentioned in the letter as well.

                  You're right my lawyer knows exactly what hes dealing with now.

                  Yeah I've let it go initially but started hunting me today. She's not too happy with me travelling. She will do what she can to ruin it. It's crystal clear.

                  She's not on legal aid. Paying out of pocket. Her lawyer doesn't accept legal aid. I keep hearing people on this forum say or think thsy she's on legal aid. .perhaps she is and I don't know it.

                  She was on leglall aid in the initial application. For the motion to change she is employed and over the limit for legal aid. Her current lawyer did tell my lawyer that she has to get legal aid layer for trial. .. it is really not my business but information is never a bad thing.
                  Last edited by trinton; 12-15-2016, 11:02 PM.

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                  • #24
                    My lawyer learned his lesson (several times) with my ex. On one occasion my ex agreed to provide my lawyer with signed release forms for banking finances. Judge directed my ex to do this outside of the courtroom. My lawyer told me he "felt sorry" for my ex because ex said he was tired and had worked all day, etc. so my lawyer readily agreed with my ex that my ex would come to his office the following week to sign everything.

                    Next week came and went. A month later, after lawyer threatening my ex with court, my ex attends the lawyer's office. I wasn't present but what I heard was that the two of them got into a terrible argument in the reception area. My ex stormed out. A month or two later my ex accuses my lawyer of threatening him. This horrifying accusation actually made its way into the judges chambers several months later. Of course the matter was dropped. All in all this diverted matters for a whole year.

                    Smoke and mirrors. Delay. Delay.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by arabian View Post
                      My lawyer learned his lesson (several times) with my ex. On one occasion my ex agreed to provide my lawyer with signed release forms for banking finances. Judge directed my ex to do this outside of the courtroom. My lawyer told me he "felt sorry" for my ex because ex said he was tired and had worked all day, etc. so my lawyer readily agreed with my ex that my ex would come to his office the following week to sign everything.

                      Next week came and went. A month later, after lawyer threatening my ex with court, my ex attends the lawyer's office. I wasn't present but what I heard was that the two of them got into a terrible argument in the reception area. My ex stormed out. A month or two later my ex accuses my lawyer of threatening him. This horrifying accusation actually made its way into the judges chambers several months later. Of course the matter was dropped. All in all this diverted matters for a whole year.

                      Smoke and mirrors. Delay. Delay.
                      That could have been his chance to get on your lawyers good side. Or not

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                      • #26
                        No my point is that my lawyer learned that a) he should have come to court armed with appropriate forms for my ex to sign or b) follow judge's order to have ex sign something outside the courtroom or at least that same day at the lawyer's office. Taking my ex's "word" or assuming that ex would comply with the court order was a mistake.

                        My ex does not obey court orders. He only reacts to consequences of not obeying them. In dealing with people like this you have to have very concisely worded orders with clearly spelled out consequences. Only when someone wants to try to go after their ex for contempt do they realize these important steps.

                        I learned that, for example, when requesting "full financial disclosure" one has to list, in great detail, specifically what you are requesting.
                        Last edited by arabian; 12-15-2016, 11:59 PM.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by arabian View Post
                          No my point is that my lawyer learned that a) he should have come to court armed with appropriate forms for my ex to sign or b) follow judge's order to have ex sign something outside the courtroom or at least that same day at the lawyer's office. Taking my ex's "word" or assuming that ex would comply with the court order was a mistake.

                          My ex does not obey court orders. He only reacts to consequences of not obeying them. In dealing with people like this you have to have very concisely worded orders with clearly spelled out consequences. Only when someone wants to try to go after their ex for contempt do they realize these important steps.

                          I learned that, for example, when requesting "full financial disclosure" one has to list, in great detail, specifically what you are requesting.
                          My lawyer and I have learned the same lessons. You just have to take their word with a grain of salt. My ex is however good at coming up as honest and genuine when speaking to you. It is not until the next day you learn that she was full of manure.

                          Thanks for that info for concisely worded orders with clearly spelled out consequences. I will keep that in mind for every single clause in any and all future orders. At the same time, our judges shouldn't allow orders to go that are likely to end up in problems down the road. Judges should have final say in all orders, whether on consent or without consent. I do understand they don't want to upset parties but these things should be standard clauses to protect everyone. In the sense that one person ruins it for everyone.
                          Last edited by trinton; 12-17-2016, 11:14 AM.

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                          • #28
                            With respect to your original question - I found ReadNotify is the best investment of $4/month I ever made. This program lets you know when an email you send has been opened at the recipient's address. You can't prove who actually opened the email and you can't prove that the person who opened it actually read it, but you can do away with "you never informed me about xyz". ReadNotify is also pretty discreet - unless the recipient is pretty skilled with computers, s/he won't know that the information has been transmitted back to the sender, so when they claim they never got an email and you have a report saying that it was opened at their address, it's kind of hard for them to blame it on you.

                            ReadNotify accompanied by very explicit decision trees ("Please let me know if you prefer option x, y or z by [date]. If I have not received your choice by [time] on [date], I will assume that you do not have a preference and I will act on option x") saved me a lot of headache.

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                            • #29
                              I agree with links that an email sent is suffice.

                              I checked out readnotify but noticed I need to add .readnotify.come at end of each email?

                              Or not if I sign up ?

                              I think I'm going to invest in it. I'm really sick and tired of people who claim I never got your email or your attachment or your text or you never called me etc. Ridiculous.

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                              • #30
                                I like the idea of giving them an option and deadline. Going to try using that. It kind of sucks you have to do that with our child's other parent. I never have this problem with anyone else

                                Now if I had sent the email before our court agreement asking to meet sometime in the future (my suggested dates were post our court date). Can she argue I never contacted her after our agreement was reached? Or is it expected that she would reply to my initial request to set a time to meet at the passport office, regardless of it being before or after our court date.
                                Last edited by trinton; 12-17-2016, 03:54 PM.

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