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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 09-12-2019, 06:31 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
Dad had put our son in a scary situation... Resulting in the cat scratching the crap out of our kid and kissing and clawing at the dog. So sorry donít think my kid was over reacting when he got covered in scratches.
I thought we were talking about wifi, how did this segue into cats and dogs?

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I agree with you. Of course kids do better with both parents... except not when the one parent didnít want them 6 years ago.
I've talked to a lot of kids. Many would love to have a missing parent back in their lives.

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Except dad shoves some consent in my face saying I must agree for him to chose a therapist... etc etc
Again, where is this coming from? You are all over the map. I know you hate your ex and you think he is terrible. Extra examples don't really prove much beyond that.

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You do seem bias even though you say you arenít. Just my observation... didnít say I was always right.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias
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  #12  
Old 09-12-2019, 06:36 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is online now
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Cats and dogs is why he called my crying...

He called me on his phone I have to pay for because of the wifi thing..

I donít know why I keep explaining myself.... it doesnít matter. Your is opinion is what it is.




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  #13  
Old 09-12-2019, 07:53 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Janus, for the most part I agree with you on your feelings about parenting but this time I disagree with you. Sure Mom2Two has made some poor decisions and inserted herself into situations she shouldnt have but overall, some parents do that type of thing when their child is hurting. I doubt you would turn a blind eye if it was your child in crisis. Yes I know you will come back with ďbut my children know not to call meĒ response.

This entire case has spiraled out of control because dad has allowed his gf to take over. Even OCL has acknowledged it in their observation and report. You have a highly sensitive 10 year old with diagnosed anxiety issues who does not know how to deal with difficult situations. Imagine a kid on a schoolyard being bullied with the teacher standing there doing nothing. This kid has been forced to spend time with someone elseís children, be bullied and demeaned by them and have his own father ignore it. Dad was wrong to throw them into this situation rather than ease into it and also work with a professional either before or after.

None of dads behaviour has been child focused and as a result mom has to deal with the aftermath. The kids come home upset and acting out. They donít sleep and struggle at school. The teachers are telling mom they had a rough go and they need additional supervision in school. Their therapist has laid out things that need to be done to help kids cope. Yet mom is the only one doing it.

This is a parent who refuses to pay for health benefits to cover medical costs and then says no to his share of said medical costs. A man who reduces his work hours to pay less child support and then cries broke because of his obligations to his new family.

The list goes on but you get the point. Now you have a frustrated parent who has spent close to two years university tuition to get dad to not only pay his child support, but also put his kids needs first. He refuses both. Mom2Two has a right to be frustrated, angry, scared and upset. Before you jump down her throat about minute details she is mixing up in her turmoil, take a deep breath and read between the lines.

Youíre normally really astute and I have called M2T on things she needed to give her head a shake on both here and offline. In this instance I give her my support because this guy is doing more harm to his kids than good and thats just through a useless legal battle he canít win.
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  #14  
Old 09-13-2019, 01:27 AM
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I doubt you would turn a blind eye if it was your child in crisis.
Sure but my children know not...

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Yes I know you will come back with ďbut my children know not to call meĒ response.
...errr, well. But it's true! I mean, they might complain, but at mom's house mom makes the rules. At my house I make the rules. At school the teacher makes the rules. At the game the coach makes the rules. That's the sad lot for kids, part of why being an adult is more awesome.

If my kid had a problem with the soccer coach, we would discuss it at home, not in the middle of the soccer practice or game.

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Before you jump down her throat about minute details she is mixing up in her turmoil, take a deep breath and read between the lines.
Ok, I just reread a bunch of her stuff. Point taken.

sigh

I apologize M2T.
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  #15  
Old 09-13-2019, 06:12 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is online now
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Default Well... looks like we are heading to trial..

Thank you Janus..

I am working with my kids and therapists to teach them the very thing you just said about the rules... even when you donít like the rules... whoever makes them.. you follow them and discuss at home later.. but when the kid is getting bullied and made to feel awful about themselves all the time and then kid has awful anxiety and panic attacks you have to deal with that first.

My kids dad isnít an awful person. He is just not equipped.. and he wonít get help to get equipped. So he relies on others.. which you said before isnít right.. the parent should parent not the step parent. But again your also right he made the decision to continue to not be equipped and put gf in charge and we are all just sadly trying to teach the kids to cope with it. Itís very very hard for them. Therefor any significant extra time with dad is going to only create more issues than there already is for my kids...

This forum has helped me by telling me when I am being silly and need to let certain things go that arenít worth the fight... itís helped. My kids need someone to advocate for them and itís always been just me. Again dad just doesnít understand... I do keep that in the back of my mind....

Itís scary to think where/ how they would be if I hadnít fought for the services and therapists and accommodations at school if I wasnít equipped as well.

And now I am being very quickly depleted of the funds that should be allotted to continue to support my kids with these services..with no contribution from dad for now the past 1.5 years...

I really truly feel like giving up... I almost feel like saying.. here you (Dad) take the kids.. and we will see how they are in two years... you deal with the anxiety attacks and the teachers notes and phone calls.. (which I always share all with dad and welcome him to call teacher to offer any suggestions and they go ignored) and dr and therapists appointments.

I will be the parent who gets them every other weekend. Keep them up till midnight and let them play on their devices 24/7 and ignore them all weekend and then send them back to you Sunday night. Then maybe dad would see what is actually going on... or at least feel it. ;-(.

Except I have wonderful people in my life who try to remind me that I am doing a good job and my kids and I will get through this somehow and that the judge too will see what is actually going on.


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Last edited by Mom 2 Two; 09-13-2019 at 06:31 AM.
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  #16  
Old 09-13-2019, 08:21 AM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Youíve only spent 18,000? Youíre nowhere near headed to trial. Try 300,000.00 or having no money left and having to self rep. You wonít be anywhere near headed to trial until the family court system has sucked your soul out of your body. Donít fall for the line that you winning and getting costs is a sure thing. There are no winners except the lawyers and the judges and the parasitic other players who will bleed your family resources dry from both of you.
There is no Jordan principle in family law that gives you th right to a trial within 36 months. Try 6 years of litigation first if youíre one of the lucky ones. Be warned that even if you are the one with a good solid case, you will not win. The lawyers will win but never the client!
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  #17  
Old 09-13-2019, 08:53 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is online now
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Originally Posted by Stillbreathing View Post
Youíve only spent 18,000? Youíre nowhere near headed to trial. Try 300,000.00 or having no money left and having to self rep. You wonít be anywhere near headed to trial until the family court system has sucked your soul out of your body. Donít fall for the line that you winning and getting costs is a sure thing. There are no winners except the lawyers and the judges and the parasitic other players who will bleed your family resources dry from both of you.

There is no Jordan principle in family law that gives you th right to a trial within 36 months. Try 6 years of litigation first if youíre one of the lucky ones. Be warned that even if you are the one with a good solid case, you will not win. The lawyers will win but never the client!


I agree completely. Nothing is guaranteed. And when my lawyer says costs... he does use the word loosely and always says ďcouldĒ. Not will...

Iím sorry your going through hell... and your right with all the delays and stall tactics my ex has already used... I am probably in for many more to come...

I have the mindset now that if this goes on for another 2 years then my oldest will be 13. The OCL report will be stale dated... And if dad continues to treat him the way he does there will be no physically forcing him to go... and then we will be in a different ballgame I guess


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  #18  
Old 09-13-2019, 09:34 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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The problem lies with unreasonable parties like both your cases. You were always going to have to fight. This is what I have to remind my husband of. He has spent $10,000 fighting this matter and he hates it. But the problem is he had to fight it. His ex refused to accept what she was and wasnít entitled to. If he had chosen not to fight it, he would have had to write a cheque for $40,000 and then paid an addition $10,000 per year for six years. In your case your ex didnít want to pay his child support let alone the section 7 expenses. Unless you were willing to say ok, you were not going to get out of this without a fight.

The system is messed up. They need to have better teeth at the beginning for the cases that are easy to resolve (like people who donít pay cs or those that demand excess they arenít entitled to) and then save the courts time for really complex cases.
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