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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 02-24-2015, 05:46 AM
myteam myteam is offline
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You are absolutely right Rockscan! There is no way I can put it all together to ensure it goes beyond the first diploma.
We have been apart for 15 years. It is still far more important for him to be right than to be happy.
I have learned so much about myself through this process. I allowed myself to get swept up in the legal battle all those years ago and vowed I would not do that again. I sat through mediation with him for two hours to try to resolve this amicably. A waste of time and money that reaffirmed the fact that he has no intention of doing the right thing never mind the fact that the law is very clear on the matter.
Thank you for your guidance and for helping keep the big picture in perspective. This blog can be very therapeutic and a great resource for those who are trying to keep it together.
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  #12  
Old 02-24-2015, 09:12 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Some people are more concerned with being right when they are so very wrong. Most of the time at the detriment of the kids. Your daughter deserves to be supported. Especially since she is working so hard to make something of her life. You owe it to her. Its going to be a very one sided battle for your ex.
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  #13  
Old 02-24-2015, 01:50 PM
stripes stripes is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myteam View Post
My daughter was super lucky that she is able to walk and can even drive a car with a spinner knob. She wears a brace and her left side is much weaker but she is a very determined young lady.
Physical accommodations will be minimal but still exist. Buying footwear is our biggest obstacle as there are 3 size differences between her two feet. Never wanting to label her, I never applied for disability and may be the reason she is as outgoing and determined as she is.
I have considered the fact that she may be home far longer than she would like and therefore, hoping a judge will consider this when determining how long child support will be paid for.
I am so hesitant to add legal fees to this process but know the risks of not having all my i's dotted.
Court is on March 24th so not much time to think about it!
I understand your desire not to have your daughter "labelled" because of her disability, but you might want to get her formally assessed and diagnosed ("coded"). The office of disability services at her university or college would be able to help you with this. A formal diagnosis and prognosis can unlock a lot of services and aids that will enable her to be more independent and successful. And if you have to keep battling your ex in child support, it's pretty hard for him to argue with a specialist's assessment.
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  #14  
Old 02-24-2015, 01:54 PM
Reality Reality is offline
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myteam

Just a couple quick words of advise. It is a form 15B (response to motion to change) you probably want to fill out, NOT a 15C (which is a consent to motion to change)
If your first date of court is March 24/15 what day were you served the motion to change? You only have 30 days from the date you were served to serve and file your 15B (response to motion to change)
I personally think you will want to do a ton of research really fast to become able to self rep or time to hire a lawyer. You will have an excellent case to have this motion to change dismissed with cost from what you have written here. You must bring this as your first defense.

From the little I have read you have bigger issues then just CS and post secondary. You have a child that may need support financially for a long time and you and the ex will need to agree on that for the sake of your child. I know you said it is making her stronger but better to have something in place "just in case" he/she needs a little extra hand no?
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  #15  
Old 02-24-2015, 05:46 PM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stripes View Post
I understand your desire not to have your daughter "labelled" because of her disability, but you might want to get her formally assessed and diagnosed ("coded"). The office of disability services at her university or college would be able to help you with this. A formal diagnosis and prognosis can unlock a lot of services and aids that will enable her to be more independent and successful. And if you have to keep battling your ex in child support, it's pretty hard for him to argue with a specialist's assessment.
As well, both you and she may have an obligation to apply for disability for her because it is an available financial resource. He should not have to pay extra when the financial aid is there for her but pride prevents you from taking advantage of it.
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  #16  
Old 02-24-2015, 08:35 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Just to build on what blink says...theres also going to be contributions your daughter will have to make and certain things may be available to her. A judge could decide that D18 has to make a contribution to school. It may not be a lot but over the course of 2-6 years it could add up. Depending on her abilities and what she is eligible for, she may have to utilize whatever resources are available for her contribution. Plus, your ex may have had his lawyer look into disability resources that he may counter any of your arguments with. Added to that, if he decides to default, you may need these resources in the future.

A good starting point are the disability services at the college. They are able to advise on the full slate of options available both financial and educational supports. Plus they can help with a long term plan that is not only achievable, but also tangible to put in your order.

Remember youre going to need a very clear cut order that can be filed with FRO for recovery. Saying she'll do two years and MAY continue to university gives your ex a possible out. If its in the order its enforceable but also something that can be opted out of if D decides to go into the workforce after college.
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  #17  
Old 02-27-2015, 08:56 AM
myteam myteam is offline
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Thanks for all your input. Spoke to my lawyer and have agreed to have her represent me.
Will post results after the court date in March.
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  #18  
Old 02-27-2015, 12:36 PM
DowntroddenDad DowntroddenDad is offline
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I've just in the process of applying for Ontario Disability Support Payments for my son. His mother doesn't not pay for support for him, he is 21, but he has had serious mental health issues for years. I agree with others that this is something you should do for both long and short term. It will get you both financial relief and resources you may need to help your daughter become self sufficient.
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