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What is the BEST part of divorce to you.

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  • #46
    Originally posted by sufferer View Post
    VEry TRue,Even thebest of a repair, will break the broken glass again in no time

    IF you decide its not repairable it won't be, because you are already deciding in your own mind that it will not work if you had a positive attitude and worked toward reconciliation you might find that you end up with a stronger marriage then you did when you first married. Sometimes what you think is what happens it all depends on your mindset. Love is a choice not a feeling. If we all went by our feelings we would have some roller Coaster life. I think that if every person were to focus on what they are doing to contribute to a better marriage then maybe we would see less divorce it only starts with one person loosing their pride and choosing to love through the difficult times. True love endures hardship, and true love is not selfish but selfless the best marriage is when both people can become selfless, the one meets the needs of the other and both are then happy but if just one partner chose to meet the needs of the other then maybe just maybe the other person would follow suit? Sometimes the only person we can change is ourselves.

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    • #47
      The best part of my divorce hmmm
      I would say the fact that we were able to be adults about it, we were able to let go of the hurt see each others faults in why the marriage did not work and move onto a peaceful place with one another so that we could move on. I know not all endings are like this! I was fortunate with my ex, we were together a long time and for the most part he was my best friend, we both made mistakes that costs us in the end there is a difference between being in love and just loving someone, caring about and caring for someone
      Last edited by dovan; 02-06-2009, 11:47 AM. Reason: adding to post

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      • #48
        The best part about being divorced? I got to find "me" again. I didn't even recognize myself! I get to enjoy my family especially my sister. I was able to find someone who really loves me. I was able to show my children what a strong independent woman can accomplish. I don't have to be scared anymore. I can breathe again. PLUS...the new man leaves the seat down!!!

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        • #49
          At the moment I am just separated and only 2 weeks but so far:
          1. Not eating or making all the fatty greasy food he likes to eat. I think I've lost 10 lbs already!
          2. Not having my gourmet meals CRITCIZED. "More onions next time, less avocado.....blah BLAH!
          3.Way less laundry! Not folding his undies into neat little stacks.
          4. Not having to tiptoe around his crappy moods..'shhh, Dadd'y sleeping, shhhhh Daddy's trying to watch the news....' Dance party with my daughter instead!
          5. Not having to listen to his truck driving F Bomb dropping politically incorrect incessant sarcasm.
          6.Not having him ask me STUPID questions every 5 seconds. Where's my pants? Where's this? Where's that? Why is this here? RRRRRRRRR!
          7. Not having to wonder when the heck he's going to bother to cut the grass, or clean the basement or finish nailing up those baseboards from 2 years ago. Now I KNOW! It ain't gonna happen!
          8. Finding out what kind of liar he is NOW instead of 10, 20 years from now. I'm sure I'll be able to think of more!

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          • #50
            Not sure yet...just sold the matrimonial home and moved into a rental with my 2 sons this past week.

            Still too stressed from all that and the changes to routine (being a single Dad now) and tighter budget etc

            But this is a good thread for me to know that things will be okay.

            I am looking forward to spending more time with my sons and enjoying the simple things in life!

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            • #51
              Less stress at home. Do what I want when I want. Read until I want at bedtime.. no grumps in my bed anymore. Less mess yippee. Can leave the vacuum wherever I want. Much less work in he home overall. Less pressure, no blaming. Everything is much rosier in general. Wow.

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              • #52
                Honestly, I haven't found much good in the experience at all.

                I am very thankfull that I didn't spend much more time with a woman that has since proven herself to be very different from the person I thought she was while we were together.

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                • #53
                  Having the driver's seat of my van in the same place as when I park it! I'm very short, but my stbx isn't. It wasn't a point of contention, just one of those really cool perks I noticed as soon as he was gone!!

                  Now he has his own vehicle and I have mine.

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                  • #54
                    Originally posted by Adelweiss View Post
                    Having the driver's seat of my van in the same place as when I park it! I'm very short, but my stbx isn't. It wasn't a point of contention, just one of those really cool perks I noticed as soon as he was gone!!

                    Now he has his own vehicle and I have mine.

                    HAHAHA that is hilarious! True though!

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                    • #55
                      my favorite part of being divorced is that when I have my kids, I can give them my undivided attention all day long and peek in on them while they're sleeping like angels and not be told that I'm obsessed with my kids.
                      And of course, I can now go fishing whenever I want and even better, the kids are big enough now to come with me.

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                      • #56
                        Im finding my true old self again. I stopped being a door mat, I have a voice, Im enjoying holidays again. Im becoming a better person for myself and my daughter. Im learning from my mistakes and know what I have to do in the future. Hard way to learn lessions...

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                        • #57
                          Originally posted by Ihave2kidsIcannotsee View Post
                          Reconcile if possible divorce is not fun and it is always best to try to save a marriage if you can. Sorry just my opinion nothing more!
                          Well put but you can only do so much. If the other side just doesn't want to be with you then you have no other choice then to move on...
                          I wish my ex could see how I have changed, a good talk would be beneficial to both of us. But he's made it clear that he wants nothing to do with me so....
                          good luck to him!

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                          • #58
                            Starting a new relationship and finding out that all the crap and BS that used to happen....wasn't my fault.

                            Watching HER start a new relationship...then another...and another....only to see the same repetitive patterns cause a total breakdown. (I swear I don't know WHY I pay for cable....the drama she causes is better than ANY show, unfortunately it has the side effect of bleeding over and messing with MY life too...which sucks)

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                            • #59
                              I wasn`t married or even common law with the father of my child. But we lived together. The best part....not having to sleep beside a man who won`t have sex with me, but will with other women. I can finally sleep.

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                              • #60
                                The best part is being able to care for my children without the criticism and being told constantly, that I'm doing it all wrong.

                                Being able to be a mother without having someone put me down on my parenting skills.

                                Most important of all being able to spend time with my children. I didn't really have "access" to my children when I was married. We all had to fit in with his schedule of weddings, social functions, visiting his parents, visiting his family, visiting his friends etc. I now can spend a "whole" weekend with my children. We go to the park, the museum, the library, the bookshop or sometimes just have fun at home. This is something you simply can not put a price on.

                                Only regret is I should have left him earlier!

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