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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 01-17-2020, 10:23 AM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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Default Mandatory Financial Statement to be filed?

Hi All,

Nearing the end of my saga that has dragged 3 years and cost a ridiculous amount of money due to my STBX being so unreasonable, and having an equally unreasonable lawyer. OCL recommended 50/50 of our kids, however my ex played hardball and dragged her feet (kicking and screaming would be more accurate). Recognizing I would not get a trial for 1.5 years, I was advised to agree to 50/50 over a graduated schedule seeing 50/50 reached in 2 years.

I was disappointed my lawyer caved into her hardheadedness, however my priority was the kids and my involvement in their lives. Minutes of Settlement have been signed, however the Court Order has yet to be filed.

What was swept under the rug in all negotiations is the financial aspects of our separation. Our Financial Statements were filed in 2017, and never updated.

My STBX easily owes me about $15,000 in restitution for not paying her share of the mortgage and other things that are easy to prove. I have become aware that she is pocketing all CS into RRSPs to purchase a home of her own (at my expense) and has likely accumulated a nice sum by now.

Can I withhold finalizing the Court Order until she provides me with an updated Financial Statement? I will see that she has financially gained from our separation, etc.. Perhaps provide me with a bit of leverage to negotiate getting to 50/50 faster? My lawyer was so focused on me getting joint custody and 50/50 parenting that the financial aspects of our case got swept under the rug. And my STBX seems all too eager to get the Order finalized as she knows she is getting away with a 'win' in the financial department.
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Old 01-17-2020, 11:02 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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We’ve told you before you have no control over what she does with the cs payments.

Is there an agreement or order that she owes you that money? Why was it not dealt with in minutes of settlement?

You may need to decide what is more important? Keeping your litigation funds in your pocket or spending thousands to get nothing? If you are going to spend 15 grand to get 15 grand what was the point?
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Old 01-17-2020, 11:26 AM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
We’ve told you before you have no control over what she does with the cs payments.
I know I don't have control of what she does with CS. My issue is that she dragged her heels using our kids as bargaining chips to prolong CS for as long as possible to personally profit. Rather than put the kids first (and have 50/50) as soon as possible and as recommended by the OCL, she puts her own greed and manipulation first to maximize profit at my expense and the kids expense of less time with dad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Is there an agreement or order that she owes you that money? Why was it not dealt with in minutes of settlement?
It was swept under the rug to say that we agree to that property has been settled. Never even a discussion about it as all negotiations were focussed on her agreeing to 50/50 as she was screaming it should never be 50/50. So the Minutes of Settlement say property has been settled, but a Court Order has yet to be filed. My question is, can I withhold filing the Court Order and explain that Financial Statements have not been updated which may impact on whether or not the Minutes should be endorsed as a Court Order?

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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
You may need to decide what is more important? Keeping your litigation funds in your pocket or spending thousands to get nothing? If you are going to spend 15 grand to get 15 grand what was the point?
At this point, I would be self-repped so would not be losing any money by playing hardball, as she has to date. She basically won in the parenting time department, support department, and property department. Perhaps she can give me 50/50 six months sooner in exchange for me not pursuing an updated financial statement?
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Old 01-17-2020, 01:10 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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this is insane. if you've finalized your minutes of settlement- AND presented it before a judge at an SC, and they signed off on it...then you're done. unless there's something egregious in it. Go ahead and open it back up. At worst, she'll get costs. At best- maybe you lose your 50/50 for being a high conflict dick.
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Old 01-17-2020, 02:02 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
this is insane. if you've finalized your minutes of settlement- AND presented it before a judge at an SC, and they signed off on it...then you're done. unless there's something egregious in it. Go ahead and open it back up. At worst, she'll get costs. At best- maybe you lose your 50/50 for being a high conflict dick.


Beat me to most of my point.

You agreed to minutes of settlement. Property was settled. As far as the court is concerned property is settled. A judge will turn around and say why are you opening this, you agreed it was settled. And just because you are representing yourself doesn’t mean you won’t pay HER costs.

Honestly you present yourself as bitter, resentful and high conflict. Let it go.
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Old 01-17-2020, 02:18 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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Yes, I AM bitter when I get totally screwed by a schemer. Totally played the system to her advantage. Held all the cards and used our kids as bargaining chips to get what she wants. What she wanted was to prolong support payments for as long as possible to optimize her profits, without a care what was in the best interest of the kids. I agreed to Minutes of Settlement to finalize the bleeding as she was threatening to continue litigation with endless financial resources from her end.

The judge HAS NOT signed off on anything yet. Which is why I am asking if I absolutely need to file the Minutes of Settlement, or ask to hold off until we exchange recent Financial Statements.
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Old 01-17-2020, 02:38 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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You need some therapy.
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Old 01-17-2020, 02:44 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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So you are saying I need therapy because I desire my fair share in an equitable division of assets? Suggesting I am high conflict because I desire for what I am legally entitled to in the division of our assets? You suggest I could lose 50/50 for wishing to discuss finances which has been overlooked in the negotiations of my matter? Why would you punish the children for dad asking for what is provided in accordance with Family Law in terms of equalization? Its easy to sit behind a computer and suggest others to get therapy, regardless of the fact you have zero details of my case....
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Old 01-17-2020, 02:59 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
So you are saying I need therapy because I desire my fair share in an equitable division of assets? Suggesting I am high conflict because I desire for what I am legally entitled to in the division of our assets? You suggest I could lose 50/50 for wishing to discuss finances which has been overlooked in the negotiations of my matter? Why would you punish the children for dad asking for what is provided in accordance with Family Law in terms of equalization? Its easy to sit behind a computer and suggest others to get therapy, regardless of the fact you have zero details of my case....
I'm saying you need therapy because of what you have posted on here. You're angry and bitter. And wanting to punish your ex- who is still the mother of your children by the way- because you feel like she beat you. Here's a sad fact- no one wins in family law. It's just varying levels of dissatisfaction.

Everyone who goes through divorce should probably get therapy.

If it was overlooked on the financials- that's your bad- you shouldn't have settled. You say it's all about the interest of your kids- then why are you SO obsessed with $15k? It's a lot of money- yes. But in the grand scheme of family law? It's chump change. My ex spent $50K, and he didn't even get joint, much less 50/50. He did however completely "beat" me on the financials of the property division. To the tune of $70k. Give or take. Dems the breaks. Higher income earner loses. Every time. It was hard to deal with- but guess what? I got therapy. I'm still in therapy.

You had to the opportunity to settle equalization. And guess what? You did. You signed a minutes of settlement document that says "Property is settled". Everyone here will tell you to move on. Focus on letting go of your anger- and being a good dad to your kids.
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  #10  
Old 01-17-2020, 03:16 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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First you need to consider yourself lucky that you only litigated for 3 years! I’ve been at it for over 8 years with no end in sight due to an unreasonable ex. Don’t get too excited about financial statements. What makes you think your ex will produce HONEST financial statements if they are unreasonable? My ex’s financial statements made absolutely no sense. Of the dozens his lawyer did, not one was the same. My ex once told me his lawyer just made stuff up and had him sign (my ex is brain damaged).

Your best revenge is to get on with your life and become prosperous and happy without your ex!
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