P.S. As much as I am against ss, I am understanding to a rough stage of immediate post separation. Some support to help get by while you find a job etc, but none of this bs "to have the same standard of living that I am used to". Even the government cannot promise you that since at anytime the country can hit recession and you are out of work.
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Divorce Law are a Joke and Dads are the Punch Line
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Originally posted by JB514 View PostMomforever, I do sympathize with your situation and understand that you endured a lot of pain and disappointment. However, as you stated, your "right" to ss has nothing to do what kind of person he was.
I am still not grasping the whole entitlement issue, since we all were in a relationship where things were sacrificed or contributed not equally. Maybe we are different people and will never understand each other on this issue.
But my Qs to you in regards to some points that you stated... Has he NEVER supported you financially during your marriage? You said you paid bills for his practice while HE paid other bills. All I am trying to say is that you supported him through school, he supported you till the end (marriage). And yes, you received assets through equalization for some of which, I am quite sure, you have not paid.
But I think we could argue till we are blue in the face, since you obviously believe in what you asked for, where as I would rather die than ask an ex partner to support me.
The law as it stands doesn't agree with you. SS is complicated to say the least, compensary--non--compensary--the law of "65", etc.
I am not whining or stuck in a dark place. I am pleased at the outcome and do feel it is fair without one minute of guilt or regret for accepting SS.
I do understand there are some who ventured through a marriage completely endulged and spoiled eating bon bon and getting massages and then when they decide they have had enough they desire for this to continue after divorce. Is that Fair? It doesnt matter it is no fault divorce, but what I am saying is that was not the case with me, and it is case specific, so when asked if I feel endulged or guilty or revengeful the answer is no. I am not out to make him "pay" for his poor behaviour. Truthfully the cheating with transsexuals was not anything close of the pain I endured living with a sociopath, mentally ill man for 29 years.
If my income over the next 5 years is more than his--he will be collecting from me. Fair is Fair.
Just a side note--which may influence your understanding. I had a company which I owned 100% on paper and in the settlement I was obliged to transfer it to him as part of the equalization which had sitting in it 350k of which I didnt get a cent and that cash was NOT part of the equalization, just the worth of the company was included excluding the cash.
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Everyone's situation is different that's for sure. I am pleased that SS isn't a hard and fast set of formulas.
I certainly don't have anywhere near the lifestyle that I had while I was married. When I decided to kick him out and file for divorce I knew I was leaving behind a very, very comfortable life. This is why it is so very hard to make that final decision. For many of us you have to start completely over - no house, no car, no bank account, no credit, nada, nothing - just SS.
There is an upside though. I can read in bed. I can eat what I want, when I want. I don't answer to anyone but myself. I don't have to cook, clean, entertain for someone who doesn't appreciate it anymore. Life of comfort, disrespect and fear vs. freedom with self respect? I'll take freedom and self-respect any day.
Ask me in 6 months though.....Last edited by arabian; 11-02-2012, 12:07 AM.
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Originally posted by arabian View PostEveryone's situation is different that's for sure. I am pleased that SS isn't a hard and fast set of formulas.
I certainly don't have anywhere near the lifestyle that I had while I was married. When I decided to kick him out and file for divorce I knew I was leaving behind a very, very comfortable life. This is why it is so very hard to make that final decision. For many of us you have to start completely over - no house, no car, no bank account, no credit, nada, nothing - just SS.
There is an upside though. I can read in bed. I can eat what I want, when I want. I don't answer to anyone but myself. I don't have to cook, clean, entertain for someone who doesn't appreciate it anymore. Life of comfort, disrespect and fear vs. freedom with self respect? I'll take freedom and self-respect any day.
Ask me in 6 months though.....
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I believe in embracing the situation you are in.
If you are in a relationship than I it takes work and understanding and compromise and flexibility. If you are single than embrace the peace and quiet, the sense of being empowered and choosing each day what works for you.
I try to be balanced so I am involved in a relationship and we live separate and get to "do our own thing" yet share time together socially and enjoy each moment.
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Originally posted by momforever1956 View PostI believe in embracing the situation you are in.
If you are in a relationship than I it takes work and understanding and compromise and flexibility. If you are single than embrace the peace and quiet, the sense of being empowered and choosing each day what works for you.
I try to be balanced so I am involved in a relationship and we live separate and get to "do our own thing" yet share time together socially and enjoy each moment.
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Originally posted by Unevenplayingground View PostI think if I was ever single again that I would prefer that arrangement.
I must add, I am a believer in marriage for many reasons, children being the main one. A mother and father who respect and love each other and work together for the best interest of the family cannot be beat. Having said that unfortunately in todays world it doesnt seem the norm and the aftermath of a marriage that didnt work is painful, expensive and emotionally draining. I wanted my marriage to work and for the good part of 29 years I tried my best, although in the end I realized that I was just living a lie and part of the facade.
Back to the topic of this thread. Men are not the punchlines, some of who are female have had to endure quite the ride the joke was on us.
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Please join Lucien Khodier in support for child support reform and lobby any and all politicians you can. Lucien is a hero and remarkable individual who has single handedly, and somewhat successfully challenged the draconian scandalous child support debacle on-going in Canada Author Lucien Khodeir Publishes Two eBooks Then Alerts Every Senator and Every Elected Representative in Canada of the Deficiencies of Canada’s Child-Support Guidelines - PR.com
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Elizabeth, if you wish to make a meaningful explanation of what Khodeir is proposing I'm sure there are a few here who might be interested. The link you give is to a press release to e-books and contains no real information.
Khodeir has lost all of his court cases, appeals, and constitutional challenges. He was seeking to end his child support contributions on the basis of them being unconstitutional. I see nothing heroic about that, but perhaps you do.
Certainly there could be meaningful reform of the CSGs, but discussion would require actually specifying the changes that Khodeir is suggesting.
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Message Board RulesSpamming
You can't post the same thing multiple times on the board, or continuously make posts that have no real content or relevance to what is being discussed.
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Originally posted by Mess View PostElizabeth, if you wish to make a meaningful explanation of what Khodeir is proposing I'm sure there are a few here who might be interested. The link you give is to a press release to e-books and contains no real information.
Khodeir has lost all of his court cases, appeals, and constitutional challenges. He was seeking to end his child support contributions on the basis of them being unconstitutional. I see nothing heroic about that, but perhaps you do.
Certainly there could be meaningful reform of the CSGs, but discussion would require actually specifying the changes that Khodeir is suggesting.
Hey I always trust people who are campaigning for my good, but always ask me to pay money for the privilege .How selfless and heroic of him to ask me to pay for his books !Shame on you Mess
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