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New poster, long time lurker, at settlement conference stage: Now, ex in jail

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  • New poster, long time lurker, at settlement conference stage: Now, ex in jail

    Hello all,

    Just wanted to introduce myself briefly. I've been in the middle of a custody dispute, our second Motion to Change in over a decade. I filed the second one very early this year, seeking sole custody, and we are at the settlement conference stage in a couple of months, at least I hope we are. We've been through the OCL process, and the OCL has recommended sole custody to me. We have one child, special needs. I was pretty much hoping to have it all wrapped up early in the New Year with settlement conference, but have just found out that the ex is now in jail for something pretty serious, unrelated to me. He had no record that I know of before the OCL report but has had some conflict with the police. Haven't heard from him in over a month, we have spent the last month, including Christmas, wondering why he just hasn't shown up with no notice at all. He's a regular no-show, but he usually at least lets us know when he's not coming. Well, I guess I know why now but have very little information and am very confused why he didn't at least tell me where he was, our child with autism has been worried sick and taken his lack of communication personally. Does anyone else have experience with jail and custody matters? Like, will our case stall because hes in there? He is self-represented in the family law case, I am not, but my lawyer is off for the holidays until the New Year. Needless to say I haven't seen support in a while either, which is also unusual. Now I'm wondering if even that is a dead horse. He's remarried with more kids, but with this development, don't expect that to last given his new wife is the one that has reported the crime leading to his charges. She is giving no information to me at all, but knows that my child with her husband has been left wondering. That infuriates me to no end as all she has done for years is cry about what a good step mom she is. Clearly she's not. It's basically a big mess for him. I just want peace and certainty in my life and for our special needs child and now am more confused than ever about my child's future. I've been reading here for a long time now tho and thanks to all that have "unknowingly" supported some of my uncertainty over the past many stressful months.
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